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Thread: Girl thread get in here now
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Rhyfelwyr 16:28 08-11-2013
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Fragony 08:34 08-12-2013
Aren't we in a good mood. Cheer up mate. Just be yourself.

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a completely inoffensive name 08:47 08-12-2013
I am in no position to give you advice. But if I had to.

Assume you done goof'd. Hit the gym, lawyer up and delete your facebook.

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Papewaio 09:47 08-12-2013
The faint of heart will never get the girl.

I got rejected by my wife the first time I asked her out "I can't, I've got exams"

Turns out she actually did have exams.

=][=

The economy in the UK is pretty bad. When the economy is down study and take any job you can. When it picks up to for better options. No one is going to hold it against you for not having a stellar job in this environment. But you'd be surprised how many jobs are available if you cast a wider net.

In the future you can always find a better job. Worse ones are a great inspiration to find better. General rule is he more fun it is the less it pays... That's why dads who are paying a mortgage look so glum.

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caravel 10:09 08-12-2013
I'm not so sure you can solve your problems on a gaming forum... time to get out and see the world.

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rajpoot 10:32 08-12-2013
Originally Posted by asai:
I'm not so sure you can solve your problems on a gaming forum... time to get out and see the world.
People in RL are usually less likely to respond and even if you just want them to listen, they need to be brought into a receptive state of mind through use of copious amounts of alcohol.
People on gaming forums on the other hand are usually already drunk so it is easier.

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Rhyfelwyr 11:42 08-12-2013
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caravel 14:09 08-12-2013
I have no idea, from your description, whether you were too forward or not... it's not about when you ask for a girl's number, it's how you ask for it and in what context - i.e. you need to be getting the right signals, otherwise... I don't think you did anything wrong, but I think you should back off a bit now and see what comes of it. If you do bump into her again, don't mention the number, just talk as you did before and try to take it from there. You will soon get the idea if she's avoiding you.

This is obviously a summary of your current woes, from your perspective:
Originally Posted by :
So I've put myself in a situation where I have no income, no independence, no friends, and generally living in a world I'm not really a part of, and with little prospect of change.
And perhaps that's the general vibe you give off to others?

Instead of bemoaning your lot - find a job, any job (within reason), save some money, make some plans, give yourself something to plan for and look forward to, get some goals to aim for. Walk before you can run.

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Major Robert Dump 17:33 08-12-2013
Screw the whole gimme-your-number thing.

Be decisive. Ask her if she wants to go have coffee, catch a show, do some Bible study, go shopping for shoes or -- I'm not kidding here -- go get pedicures (while emphasizing you are not gay). The number thing only adds a hurdle and another step in the process. If she agrees to any of the above, then you set a time and day and then get her number. If she doesn't know or has other plans, then ask for her number and get a raincheck.

Don't be scared to ask her to cut the BS and just say NO if she isn't interested (see Papes post about exams above) but find a way to do it so you don't come off as desperate or an egghead (do it jokingly).

And do not, under any circumstances, try to be her best friend first, IE "lets just be pals and hang out" because rarely does being BFFs translate into a romantic relationship and it only sets you up for months if not years of being strung along. Been there done that, got the tattoo.

What religion is this church if I may inquire??

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Rhyfelwyr 19:48 08-12-2013
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a completely inoffensive name 20:52 08-12-2013
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
I'm an angry young man. What am I supposed to do?
Masturbate, cry and go to the gym like the rest of us.

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Strike For The South 22:38 08-12-2013
Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump:
Screw the whole gimme-your-number thing.

Be decisive. Ask her if she wants to go have coffee, catch a show, do some Bible study, go shopping for shoes or -- I'm not kidding here -- go get pedicures (while emphasizing you are not gay). The number thing only adds a hurdle and another step in the process. If she agrees to any of the above, then you set a time and day and then get her number. If she doesn't know or has other plans, then ask for her number and get a raincheck.

Don't be scared to ask her to cut the BS and just say NO if she isn't interested (see Papes post about exams above) but find a way to do it so you don't come off as desperate or an egghead (do it jokingly).

And do not, under any circumstances, try to be her best friend first, IE "lets just be pals and hang out" because rarely does being BFFs translate into a romantic relationship and it only sets you up for months if not years of being strung along. Been there done that, got the tattoo.

What religion is this church if I may inquire??
My work here is done.

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Vuk 22:51 08-12-2013
Yeah, you messed up big time. You should have asked "Hey woman! You want to take your shoes off, come down to my house and make me a sandwich?"
If she says know, just pull out your club, knock her over the head, and drag her into your kitchen.
I hope I have been helpful. :)

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Montmorency 22:59 08-12-2013
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name:
Masturbate, cry and go to the gym like the rest of us.
Download thousands of ebooks and organize them meticulously.

Bulk Rename Utility is good stuff.

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a completely inoffensive name 08:51 08-16-2013
Just tell her that if a man does not ejaculate at least once a day, his risk of prostate cancer goes up tremendously. Doesn't she want people to get good healthcare?

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Rhyfelwyr 12:50 08-16-2013
On a happier note than the rest of this thread, I have a job interview today so here's hoping all goes well.

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Rhyfelwyr 19:58 10-02-2013
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a completely inoffensive name 09:59 10-03-2013
Ask her if your right bicep is smaller than your left bicep. Tell her it's ok if she needs to feel with her hands in order to make a judgement. Then ask if she wants coffee at your place at 10pm tonight.

If that does not work, delete your facebook, hit the gym and lawyer up.

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Fragony 10:57 10-03-2013
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
Here's an update. I didn't see here for a few weeks because she sometimes helps with stuff after the service, but last Sunday she came and initiated conversation with me which I presume is a good sign. She seems keen to talk but this time I left just by saying "see you later" because like I said I wonder if I was forward last time (given the church context).

Anyway, I think the signs are good. So next time I will be direct and suggest an activity and then get her number as MRD says. I don't know what to suggest though. Sometimes it hits home how out of touch I am here, I miss my old circle of headcases, lol. What do normal people do? I have no idea.

Heck do I have to get new clothes for this? All I have is a formal shirt or poverty clothes. Man, I really am out of touch.
Ask her for lunch. Dinner is a bit too much if you are in doubt. Lunch is without any meaning whatsoever.

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Beskar 11:01 10-03-2013
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
Heck do I have to get new clothes for this? All I have is a formal shirt or poverty clothes. Man, I really am out of touch.
Now the weird thing is, there are clothes in-between that.

There are the scrubs/lazy wear, which you only really put on in your house.
Casual wear which you go out and about in, but nothing important.
Smart Casual which you go out somewhere with a purpose/date/friendly catch-up/family gathering
Smart/Suit which you use for formal occasions such as a wedding/etc

Anyway, for activity, go somewhere you can interact. Whilst it is very tempting to go to the cinema, for first days, it is just awkward and you don't end up talking. You could arrange something casual and silly like bowling and you could be mildly entertained, the key is making good company to make it a true and proper time.

Ideal dresscode would be smart-casual or good-casual (depending on activity). Looking like you made somewhat of an effort, being clean, hair done, clothes in good condition, etc. But don't overdress so a passerby might think "Where's the Queen?" and don't look shabby as in "Looks like Rhyfel made zero effort and doesn't care".

Edit:

Actually, Lunch is a great one. You can have a simple bite to eat at a nice cafe or somewhere nice. It is usually not expensive and you get a good opportunity to talk/spend-time together. Find out about her hobbies and interests too. Perhaps she might be a member of English Heritage and you can look around an old church or site of historical interest together (very unlikely, unless you are lucky like my cousin).

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Montmorency 11:11 10-03-2013
Originally Posted by :
There are the scrubs/lazy wear, which you only really put on in your house.
Casual wear which you go out and about in, but nothing important.
Smart Casual which you go out somewhere with a purpose/date/friendly catch-up/family gathering
Smart/Suit which you use for formal occasions such as a wedding/etc
I just wear polo shirts every day no matter what. I have like a dozen of them, or more.

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johnhughthom 11:17 10-03-2013
Take her to the zoo.

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Fragony 11:21 10-03-2013
'Actually, Lunch is a great one. You can have a simple bite to eat at a nice cafe or somewhere nice. It is usually not expensive and you get a good opportunity to talk/spend-time together. Find out about her hobbies and interests too. Perhaps she might be a member of English Heritage and you can look around an old church or site of historical interest together (very unlikely, unless you are lucky like my cousin).,

Your masterplan, you just happen to be around. Can I buy you lunch is completily casual in social nteraction. But you do buy time. She will probably understand what you are doing but she will probably think it's cute. Dress casual.

Edit, and I want you to name your first kid after me as I just made it possible

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Rhyfelwyr 15:02 11-17-2013
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Sp4 21:41 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Montmorency:
I just wear polo shirts every day no matter what. I have like a dozen of them, or more.
Polo shirts are great.

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a completely inoffensive name 22:25 11-17-2013
I wish I had your tenacity Rhy.

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Rhyfelwyr 00:45 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name:
I wish I had your tenacity Rhy.
What was I tenacious about? I only spoke to her maybe 3-4 times, learned she had a boyfriend, then moved on. Isn't that pretty standard fare?

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a completely inoffensive name 02:14 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
What was I tenacious about? I only spoke to her maybe 3-4 times, learned she had a boyfriend, then moved on. Isn't that pretty standard fare?
I'm talking about your last paragraph.

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Gregoshi 02:16 11-18-2013
Rhy, sorry to hear about your Gran. At least you were in a position to spend some time with her before she passed.

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Rhyfelwyr 02:40 11-18-2013
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