when is something an insult?

[The Stranger]

But insulting is an act. You simply can't help accidently offending people because you never know what offends them. For that we have 'being offended'. But an insult is a concious act, it serves only one purpose, to insult, it's an act of hostility. Wether or not something is percieved as being insulting is in the eye of the beholder.

im inclined to agree, but it does create situations such as beskar describes where some people just go around being ***holes to people and then claim it was just a joke and they shouldnt get all upset when people get offended. A way to arm yourself against this is to decide upon certain standards or conventions which must be upheld by both parties, but this makes us come back to where i previously left off, how do we decide this. And how adequate is this solution, it seems to me that convention is never capable of fully dealing with the diversity of life. There will always be exceptions and special cases, and how do we proceed then? What happens when people constantly refuse to meet these standards, can we use force to make them comply? Or must we suffice with ignoring them, banning them from the community.

[Fragony]

If you insult someone youstill acknowedge someone's existence, why bother otherwise. Why give a crap when being insulted. It's a different kind of courtesy to insult someone.