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  1. #1
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiaexz View Post
    It actually sounds like the child is in danger. If being left alone uncared for by the mother who is passed out on drugs.
    House almost catched fire once when she was too high to notice. My friend would never hurt his daughter but I am not so sure about him hurting his ex, he's a really sweet guy but he is very impulsive, and he is really strong, unstoppable when angry. Kinda have a bad feeling about this.

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    Mr Self Important Senior Member Beskar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Get Social Services involved. He might feel very impulsive as the mother is getting away with neglect of the child. If your friend sees people snooping around, he knows he can really mess things up with his daughter, and if he is the sweet guy you say he is, that would be the worst thing possible and prevents him from being a loving and caring father that his daughter needs and as a good friend, you will help guide him along that path.

    I know you mainly focused on the friend/mother in this scenario, but there is a third and vulnerable victim involved. Instead of worrying about betraying a friend, think about saving that little girl instead.
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  3. #3
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Social services aren't on his side. He is a sweet guy but everyone of my friends have a history. So do I. I can only lose, the best thing to do, warning the police might be the worst idea I could possibly have. He will be released from prison the fith of januari and I am worried. He will forgive me and understand eventually, but it feels bad.
    Last edited by Fragony; 12-15-2013 at 22:03.

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    Mr Self Important Senior Member Beskar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    Social services aren't on his side. He is a sweet guy but everyone of my friends have a history. So do I. I can only lose, the best thing to do, warning the police might be the worst idea I could possibly have. He will be released from prison the fith of januari and I am worried. He will forgive me and understand eventually, but it feels bad.
    Police and recently released prisoners don't get along too well.

    If he is honestly in your opinion, going to head towards his ex and perhaps cause harm, the best way to do is calm him down. You are on his side and whilst he might be angry or upset, he might make a few misjudgements. Perhaps invite him around to yours, find some pleasant activity to keep his mind of it, also, if he is there with you, he isn't elsewhere which might get others or himself hurt. If he does decide to storm off, then it is your duty to warn the police asap. You might see this as betrayal, but I put it another way. He might arrive, see police cars, then drive past, knowing it is futile and he won't end up doing something which might cost him a long time back in prison. They really dislike previous convicted doing more crime.

    If you are really worried/positive he will go out of his way to hurt her, you could probably end up having a pleasant chat with the police. From my experiences, they have been pleasant, if not seeming a little detached at moments (I do have police in the family, so I might be bias). You could say you are worried about your friend messing up, but you will try to keep him out of trouble and will let them know if it hits the fan. That way, at least they 'know' when they get an emergency call, to respond asap and if nothing happens, no harm done.

    Friends look out for friends. Friends take care of their friends. So be the good friend you are and help him out, I believe this thread is simply your concern you might be betraying him. The fact you created this thread shows that you care about him.
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    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    House almost catched fire once when she was too high to notice. My friend would never hurt his daughter but I am not so sure about him hurting his ex, he's a really sweet guy but he is very impulsive, and he is really strong, unstoppable when angry. Kinda have a bad feeling about this.
    But the thing is, hurting his ex would hurt his daughter psychologically.

    Child services is the way to go here Frags. A lot of these places will allow you to place a tip anonymously if you are worried about your own history and I would be surprised if that isn't an option in the Netherlands. It would also mean that it wouldn't be traceable to you by your friends. it would be the best thing to do by the daughter.
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  6. #6
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Child services are useless, they know she is an addict. That organisation would shame North-Korea when it comes to Kafkasian burocracy, they need trouble more than she needs heroin, when they have decided on picking a side they are like a mammoth tanker heading to a destination, can't turn all that easily. Of course I am going to keep a close eye on him, but in all their wisdom he will be housed again right next to his ex, I will always be too late, and I can't stop him anyway he is incredibly strong and doesn't care about anything anymore, it took six cops to hold him down when he was arrested last time.

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    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    I have a little trouble imagining this really strong guy who is about to kill his wife and about to be released from prison for the second or third time as it sounds as "a really sweet guy"...
    If he is only sweet towards you and hurts everyone else then he is not "a really sweet guy", he's more like your gang member.

    And apparently he'd follow you into hell but not listen to you when you tell him not to kill his wife, is that a strong tendency towards violence? I doubt by charging into hell you meant to cuddle with the demons there?

    It seems that you have ruined your own trustworthiness as well and you know it, so maybe you have some trustworthy friend left in your group who can talk to someone or do you only hang out with convicted criminals who are really sweet?

    If that sounds heavily sarcastic it's because I really can't follow your logic on how sweet everyone really is.


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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    I am not worried about him killing her, but hitting her. Which would make his situation even worse. Frankly, she deserves to be hit, she screwed him over really badly. Just because he's on the wrong side of the government doesn't mean he is a bad guy, the government steals half of your money each day you wake up, who's the criminal. I am worried that he might lose control when he sees his ex, I know what that looks like and I won't be able to stop him. How sane would you be if you found out that your mother was raped when she was 14 and that the rapist is your father. You shouldn't judge him it's incredibly awfull when a good friend bursts into tears and there isn't anything you can do. He's no saint no, but he's not a bad person. And he's not my gangmember I trade antuiques ffs.
    Last edited by Fragony; 12-16-2013 at 11:10.

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    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    "she deserves to be hit"



    Sounds more like she deserves help imho... But oh well, we can't all treat women in a civilized way, can we?

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    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Well yeah, she deserves to be hit and he is a sweet guy.

    He and you can break the law because the law is really bad and theft but when people you do not like have less respect for the same law, you have a problem with it...

    If he has daddy problems that are so bad that he cannot control himself, he needs to get professional help to get over them. How often do you let that count as an excuse when it's about criminals you never met?

    Of course he's your gang member because every single word I say has to be taken literally, especially when preceded by "more like", which is obviously a synonym for "exactly 100%".


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  11. #11
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post
    "she deserves to be hit"



    Sounds more like she deserves help imho...
    Nah. She really doesn't. I wouldn't call an ambulance for her if I found her bleeding to death in a ditch.

  12. #12
    Master of useless knowledge Senior Member Kitten Shooting Champion, Eskiv Champion Ironside's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    House almost catched fire once when she was too high to notice. My friend would never hurt his daughter but I am not so sure about him hurting his ex, he's a really sweet guy but he is very impulsive, and he is really strong, unstoppable when angry. Kinda have a bad feeling about this.
    Make it very, very obvious that he's going to hurt his daughter by hurting his ex. I mean, at best she can hope for is broken parents who shows that they love her and might even fix up their life for her sake. It's still way better than daddy getting a return ticket to jail for beating up mommy.

    Children are very much driven by basic emotions. He might have a big enough reason that the forum agrees on it (although that's extremely unlikely). It'll still be daddy goes to prison for beating up mommy for the child.

    And the odds for him to be together or even see his child again isn't exactly going to increase.
    Last edited by Ironside; 12-16-2013 at 17:16.
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    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Ironside View Post
    It'll still be daddy goes to prison for beating up mommy for the child.
    Actually, no.

    It will be "I have been bad and so I caused daddy to beat up mommy and he went to jail, if only I had been nicer he would still be here."
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

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    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by HoreTore View Post
    Actually, no.

    It will be "I have been bad and so I caused daddy to beat up mommy and he went to jail, if only I had been nicer he would still be here."
    True all too often....
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    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Don't you just KNOW a thread start has to be on the stupid side when HT, ICantSpellDawg, Husar and I tag team...
    Last edited by Kadagar_AV; 12-16-2013 at 19:48.

  16. #16
    One of the Undutchables Member The Stranger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    thats what you get for being in Frag's support group.

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  17. #17

    Default Re: Might have to betray a friend

    Focus brother. Mommy and daddy are big kids, they can take care of themselves. Do as many posters above have suggested and see the girl get help.

    If momma is so bad, get the police on her case. They don't want to deal with her either. If they see what you claim they will see, they will get child services to respond. Child services will respond much better with a little law enforcement motivating them.
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