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Thread: US veterans demand farmland in Gaul

  1. #1
    Stranger in a strange land Moderator Hooahguy's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    The Fortress

    Default US veterans demand farmland in Gaul


    A delegation from the American Legion had a meeting today with several leading senators to demand suitable farmland for the nation’s landless veterans in the province of Transalpine Gaul.

    “We swear here, upon Jupiter’s Stone, that if Consul Obama Africanus does not compensate us with suitable farmland in a quiet province, we shall not peaceably disband or leave the capital,” declared Mattis Magnus, former commander of the I Marine Legion and head of RUBICOM.

    He spoke on the front steps of the Senate under a banner proclaiming “We came! We saw! We conquered!” and was dressed in full armor, brazenly armed with his gladius sword and brandishing the skull of a Parthian warrior he took at Fallujah.

    Mattis called on Obama to come out from behind his Praetorian Guard and speak to them directly, or send co-consul Hillaria the Elder. He and other veterans then publicly spurned Obama’s offer, relayed to them by Coinmaster Petraeus, of free farmland in Afghanistan on the condition that they only grow cotton and not poppy.
    “Afghan land is only good for growing poppies,” complained Decimus Verdus of Dayton, Ohio, “and [Obama's] refusal to declare Afghanistan as a slave province means we will not have the necessary Pathan labor to properly farm it. Plus the plows keep hitting IEDs.”

    Many other veterans who fought in the eastern campaigns seemed to agree, claiming this was only the latest in a series of broken promises going back to Georgius the Younger’s invasion of Mesopotamia.
    The Duffel Blog is a military satire website, and I thought people here would enjoy this bit of humor.

    Lets try not to get political...
    On the Path to the Streets of Gold: a Suebi AAR
    A man who casts no shadow has no soul.
    Hvil i fred HoreTore

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  2. #2

    Default Re: US veterans demand farmland in Gaul

    Bad effects of Rome Total War.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Senior Member ReluctantSamurai's Avatar
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    Default Re: US veterans demand farmland in Gaul

    High Plains Drifter

  4. #4
    Now sporting a classic avatar! Member fallen851's Avatar
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    Oct 2005

    Default Re: US veterans demand farmland in Gaul

    Quote Originally Posted by PilaPis View Post
    Bad effects of Rome Total War.
    Indeed. I heard that the initial release of this article was plagued with errors, and it was patched like 9 times or so before it became readable. Even now, it still needs work.
    "It's true that when it's looked at isolated, Rome II is a good game... but every time I sit down to play it, every battle, through every turn, I see how Rome I was better. Not unanimously, but ultimately." - Dr. Sane

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