funny religious jokes

[rajpoot]

Your other threads are funnier.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Yeah that was a joke. Or was it?
Seriously though nice jokes

[Fisherking]

Two nuns are riding bikes down the street.

One says, “I’ve never come this way before”.

The second sister say, “It’s the cobble stones”.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

I work at a university, and consequently I am only allowed to laugh at religious jokes that ridicule Catholics.

[Kadagar_AV]

Shouldn't this be part 8 btw?

[InsaneApache]

A bloke dies and goes to heaven. Whilst standing at the pearly gates, he sees and old guy with long grey hair walking about in a white coat, deep in thought.

"Who's that?" says the bloke to St. Peter.

"Oh him?" says Pete. "That's God, he thinks he's a doctor."


Jesus is dying on the cross, and Peter is down the hill comforting Mary Magdalene when he hears Jesus' faint voice, "Peter. . . Peter. . ."

"I must go and help my Savior," he said and went up the hill, only to be beaten and kicked back down by the Roman centurions guarding the cross. But soon he hears, "Peter. . . Peter," in even fainter tones but he cannot ignore the call. Peter limps up the hill, leans a ladder against the cross, and gets halfway up when the centurions knock over the ladder, beats him brutally, and tosses him back down the hill.

Again he hears, "Peter. . . Peter. . ." ever fainter, and again, he cannot refuse his Lord. In pain, he slowly staggers up the hill, drags himself up the ladder, and finally gets even with Christ's face. Just as the centurions are reaching for the ladder, Jesus says, "Peter. . . Peter. . . look, I can see your house from here."

[Fisherking]

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."




I divorced her a while later though.

[total relism]

great post above


police stop woman in car

cop- what are you drinking mam?
woman- oh just water
cop-no that is wine
woman- look at that, jesus did it again.