It was the 15th anniversary of NATO attack on Serbia two days ago... 15 years... It feels like it was a lifetime ago. A lot of things changed during that time, both in Serbia and in the world. For example, I can now choose a corrupt bastard who's gonna drive my country into the ground, instead of being stuck with one. That's a huge democratic achievement. And it feels worse, actually. At least when I was stuck with one, I could place the blame for everything at his feet, and I could hope that by removing him, I can achieve some change. The feeling's completely gone now. I'm totally apathetic, knowing that whatever I do, there won't be any difference. On the same day Crimean referendum was held, Serbian parliamentary elections were held. I've voted in every single elections there was as soon as I was legally allowed, thinking it was the duty of every citizen in a democracy. On the 16th of March, I barely got around to it, 10 minutes before the polls were closed, because it was on my way back home, otherwise I would have bothered at all probably.
In 2000, I gave my part to remove Milosevic from power. I walked the walk and talked the talk. Not just an ordinary member, I also organized others to do the same. I won't lie, it felt good. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that I was 18 years old, and let's face it, a lot of things feel good when you're 18, but that's definitely not the whole story. I was a part of something greater, fighting non-violently for some values I believed important, and for a better tomorrow.
Looking at all those people at Maidan, I could sympathise with them. I do believe most of them were good people, fighting for something they've believed in. Unfortunately, I believe they will end up the same as I 15 years later. They will figure out they weren't out there, bleeding and struggling for a better tomorrow, but for a change in a foreign policy. It will take time to get there, the enthusiasm stays for a year or two. It won't be a "kick in the teeth" kind of revelation, rather a slow realization that you've been a part of a big fraud, that you and ordinary people like you did all the work and that rich, fat, corrupt bastards are still rich, fat, corrupt bastards. For my part, I don't think I'll march like that ever again, but if I do, someone will be hanging from the lamp posts before I go home. I've left work half-done once, I won't do it twice.
So, 15 years ago, NATO, like Tom Cruise in Minority Report, bombed Serbia to stop the crime that didn't happen. I don't really care about Kosovo and I don't buy into the "craddle of Serbian culture, birthplace of Serbian soul and national identity and Serbian Orthodox church". We have a lot more culture than that, I believe, and if we don't, we don't deserve it if we didn't create something new in 600 years. I don't believe that nations have a soul, national identity is constantly evolving, and for the church thingy, well, I'm an atheist so screw that.
I care about lives needlessly lost and about people who needlessly suffered, both Serbian and Albanian (and others involved). I'm not even blaming NATO exclusively, although they did make sure that all avenues except the bombing were closed. I try to move on, not think about such things too much, life goes on and all that. So, what makes the 15th anniversary any different than 14th? I guess Ukraine and Crimea... I can relate a lot to the entire thing. Even though I supported the Russian meddling initially, and I do believe the new government in Kiev would have started more violence if not checked, I believe Russia took it too far. In that, I found myself aligning my opinion more and more with that of the western countries. And then, two days ago, it was 24th March, and I was listening for the 15th time NATO ambassadors explaining to me how I should be thankful for the bombs, how they got us rid of Milosevic. No, they didn't, Mr. Westerner, I did, and all the other people who first went to vote him out and refused to go home until he admitted defeat. I've gotten used to it, at least I thought so. Then I've saw a Twitter post by NATO spokesman on that day.
... and it made me more angry than all the bullshit I've been fed for 15 years of how it was done with my interests at heart. Freakin' pinnacle of insensitivity.
It seems I still do hold a grudge...
Sorry for the rant and long post, I just needed to get it off my chest.
Bookmarks