I just turned 57.....was always good at sports but never lifted nor trained like they do today. I can honestly remember times when I had the thought that I needed to work at staying in shape as I got older...yet never did. Then had a carwreck that hurt my back and for 10 years was afraid to do anything. Well I am finally starting to workout again. It feels good and im responding to it very well, tho I`m starting at zero. I think that way too many people don't understand what life has in store for them and they don't prepare or take care of themselves. I guess that's one of the biggest games that life plays or rather that our minds play with us, the woulda shouldas. I shoulda worked harder all my life and pushed for btter jobs and done better in school. Guess I didn't find a way to work thru lifes issues. So now instead of being able to 'retire' and do artwork im working as a manager in retail and about to start school for animation. That's another shoulda...shoulda seriously and vigorously pursued that.
So many have regrets. I`m sorry you are where you are brother and I wish things were different. But I can tell that youre a fighter and your struggle speaks of your character. If I am too personal or ramble too long then my humble apologies. But I just want to encourage you. We cant always decide what happens in life, but we can decide how we act to deal with it. No matter whats going on the sun still sets beautifully and the flowers still smell sweet. Find your sweet spot in life, its still there.

https://www.youtube.com/results?sear...y=nick+vujicic
if you've never seen this guy speak hes amazing, if he can overcome the massive challenges in his life then maybe I can overcome mine.
Take care of yourself brother.