The Inquisition [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Speaking of Frands...


Hello Frands. It's your friendly neighborhood Firnaz-ian again.

Were you aware that when you die, your body is committed to the Underworld? It's true. Repent, sinners, for life is short, but death is for-evah.

But I am not a messenger of doom and gloom. In fact, I am doing my best to ensure that you, my frand, do not enter the Underworld prematurely.

However, we have a problem.

You see, there are not that many Firnaz-ian cultists. At least, not many that I am aware of. And so, we have very little margin for error.

So, my frands, if you are Firnaz worshipper, and have been a naughty little independent duckling, and wandered off, I just wanted to let you know:

Mama pizza... duck.... man... is very concerned for your safety, and that of the entire collection of assembled guests.

If we are to be successful in preventing your early entry into the Underworld, well, I'm afraid we need more Firnaz-ians to make themselves known to the one....



I AM THE ONE WHO QUACKS.

And lays eggs? Look, this metaphor has clearly gone off the rails.

What I'm trying to say is this:





If you also dress in all black, and spend an inordinate amount of your living time thinking about death, and the gloomy underworld, then you might actually be a member of the fun-loving and party-going CULT OF FIRNAZ!

Yes, our religion is quite small, and I'm not suggesting you should give up your beliefs in other deities. The others would never forgive me if I were to lure away members of other religions. Why, that's an affront to everything the Firnazian cult stands for anyway. This life is temporary, we have no quarrel with anyone.

You all will die and join us eventually. We have no pressing need to convert anyone, nor the means, nor the inclination.

But if you are already a Firnaz-lover.... I miss you.

We all do. And there are only three of us. We would like to get to know you.

It is a lonely life. And hopefully it will be a while before we all meet in the Underworld. But, I am not afraid of that happening.

What I am afraid of is the idea that one of us will die, and therefore, we will be unable to prevent anyone from joining the Underworld prematurely.

Where are you, fellow Firnaz-ian?

I guess what I'm trying to say is...



I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!!!

Mama-pizzaduck-man misses you.

Quack quack!