GAH
Before Vanya gets to the "lesson" of the "topic", Vanya will first share a leetol story with y'all...
The Jewel of Denial
===================
Great moments in the recent history of the great nation of Iraq.
1991
When confronted by reporters with footage of charred wrecks along Highway 80, aka the "highway of death",
the Iraqi Information minister replied "Those are the stealth bombers the American aggressors sent to
stifle the freedom of the Iraqi people. But we showed them The sons of Iraq destroyed them in the air
with their bare hands"
When shown videotape of Iraqi soldiers surrendering, the Information minister retorted "Nonsense Those are
arrogant Americans surrendering to the righteous peoples or Iraq The Americans surrendered to
journalists, Imams... even schoolchildren"
2003
When asked whether American forces were in Baghdad, he replied "There are no Americans in Iraq They have
pushed into the sands, unable to penetrate our defenses. They are not even... within 100 miles of
Baghdad"
Then, an American GI walks behind him and yells out "Hi mom"
"Never mind him," extorts the minister, "He is my cousin... He is such a jokester..."
In walks Donald Rumsfeld.
"And now I present to you our newest prisoner of war: the US Secretary of Defense. He was taking by the
valiant sons of Iraq during incursions into the heart of Washington. Soon, the coalition axis of evil will
be toppled and a Baathist regime will be installed in America. But naturally, Iraq is not a colonial power..."
Rumsfeld squints and gawks. He cannot find any words...
In walks Dubya.
"Saddam is dead. The people of Iraq are now free to live their lives.", says Bush. "You no longer need
to listen to the childish rantings of a man out of touch with reality", he continues, looking over at
Mohammed al-Saeed al-Sahaf.
"I assure you Saddam is fine. Saddam is walking on the grounds of the Whitehouse where the warmonger
Bush used to give out his orders of murder and oppression. Saddam has liberated the American people.
This Bush you see here now is in fact an Iraqi look-a-like. You see? He sounds like the real Bush
Saddam has formed a plan to reconstruct the American nation by helping them make the transition from the
feared dictator Bush to the patriarchal Saddam by having this look-a-like formally transfer power to Saddam's
son, Odai. Odai will run America on behalf of Saddam. Odai will be given the title of Grand Vizier of
New Iraq. New Iraq is what was formerly called America."
Bush and Rummy laugh.
"The valiant sons of Iraq have defeated the infidel crusaders"
Osama walks in and shoots al-Sahaf for being an infidel Baathist and for being a "bad muslim". (the word "muslim" is pronounced "Moose limb"... Vanya likes moose limbs with bbq sauce...) Al-Sahaf
goes to Hell and is introduced to his eternal torture routine.
Al Jazeera gets an exclusive interview with al-Sahaf while he's in Hell.
"Hell? No This is heaven Those burly minions back there? You crazy? Those are my 72 virgins
Satan... is not even... within 100 miles of me Hell? No This is... paradise", retorts al-Sahaf...
=========================================================
So, Vanya will now return to the topic to conclude the lessons of the topic at hand.
When confronted by others accusing you of being a "cheater", a "camper" or any other derrogatory mp term, you can always refer to their comments as "propaganda".
Some case studies will help youz digest Vanya's propaganda...
Player A says you camp.
You say: Player A propaganda
Player A says you're a wimp.
You say: I did not lose I am merely drawing him in to my trap, where my valiant soldiers will annihilate them and turn the ground they now stand on into their grave.
Player A says you really stink.
You say: Fight them Fight them with your hands Strike the infidel We shall soon send them running by our martyrdom operations.
Player A says you are dead.
You say: Nonsense. Player A is not even within... 100 miles of me Look at me Do I look dead? No Thats Hollywood Infidel propaganda all of it
GAH
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