The Egyptian Sultan was quietly dozing in his throne room, when his Qadi-al-Quda poked him with his finger, HARD. The Sultan woke with a start.

Huh, whu iz it? The sultan said sleepily....

Sultan, it is a letter, from the Byzantine Emperor, The Qadi-Al-Quda handed him the folded sheet of parchment.

Enlarge, your, man, hood, in, 14, days... the Sultan's Greek was poor, and he could barely read the message, though, he seriously considered taking Alexius up on the offer.

No you crack-brained imbecile read the OTHER side the Qadi-Al-Quda tore the parchment out of the Sultan's hands and flipped it to the other side, then handed it back to the sultan. The sultan read.

If the Latin Dogs should lay siege on Jerusalem, then it suggested that you reinforce the Turkish troops guarding the city, or you may lay siege to it yourself and decapitate the Turkish Sultan like a mangy cur, i have no true intention of seeing the holy land freed, just that i needed those Latin dogs trapped in such a position so that they'll all be eliminated, and Western Europe will have no warriors to guard it.

Sincerely, Emperor Alexius I

P.S: Do what i say, and a nice little prize of 1,250,000 florins is yours.

The sultan also seriously considered Emperor Alexius' second offer, though the 1,250,000 didn't seem as appealing as enlarging his manhood.

Get out a paper and pen the Sultan commanded his assistant.

The Qadi-Al-Quda whipped out a reed pen and began penning a response for the Sultan as he drifted off back to sleep, it read.

Gladly.

P.S: Are you serious about the enlargement of manhood?