If I wrote about my battles would you read em?

[MiniKiller]

*I started this is the Main Hall by mistake. The current vote their was.
yes-8
no-2
maybe-2
Please keep voting and laying down ideas. If I get 15 yes's then I'll do it. After that I'll start a new poll for what erra then after that what faction. Its all decided by you guys


All right to make me get into single player more since I cant get online I'm thinking about starting a campaign and typing about it here (prob ever 10 years game time) to keep u guys up to date. Just for fun. If I get enough yes's I'll even post a poll as to who I should be. So you can pick that to.

Here is a sample to see if you guys like it.

The year is 1055 of our lord and yet the English refuse to bow down to us. We are the rullers of the world...NOT THEM. shouted the dodge vitale. You see the Italains and the English have been in battle now for over 50 years, the Italians have fended of worse fiends such as the Mongols but are a little smaller in army size now due to Vitale's heavy taxes.

Listen men, we go into battle not just for me....not just for you but for the love of Italy. We go to battle for all the sons and daughters and wives you've lost to these fiends. Let's make this battle the last battle and send the English hime in a body bag This ignites the men who chant Vitale's name.

*2 days later. Battle day*

The field is quite, not a sound on it yet from the right hill, looking in the right direction with the right line of sight you can see to your left....a sea of red and to your right...another sea but this one is green. The men are ready to fight said Vitale II. Father will this be the last battle?. Win or loose son....this will be the last.

While father and son talk amongst themselves the men in the back begin thinking about their families...all they've lost and they realize they must win this battle. some men have been here the whole time. Yes some men were enlisted back in 1005 at the age of 10 to fight and are still here. These men...are not only dangerous butmay never fit in society again.

Suddenly from the mtn top above them and plethera of arrows begaining raining on the Italians. A sneak attack
This truely will be the last battle...win or loose for the Dodge and his son....and his followers.

*Battle*
Vitale quickly sent 2 units of his best cavalry to get ride of the men with arrows. After that he surved the damage...700 men already gone....He still had 2000 left but now the English had the numbers. Both armies begen to engange traded deadlier and deadlier arrow waves as they grew closer to each other. This was goin to be head on...for everything. Vitale quickly rode ahead knowing his men wouldnt be able to fair to well agains the English who were all mostly freshl;y recuited men.

Edward I challenge you to a dual, up in the forest. Winner take all So...Vitale we meet again...certainly for it all you say? Men hold your ground here I will bring victory to our lands

Both nobel leaders climb the mtn to the forest top and w/o even saying a word...in a sort of trust for one another turn their backs. The battles begins...

*15 minutes later*

Vitale comes running down the hill with his horse...but no Edward in sight. the Englishmen cant belive it, some begin to cry while others scream and run. The Italians are up in arms chanting the Dodge's name. All but his son who rides to his side...but before he can get their Vitale lets out a groid and falls off his horse...he was the one who lost.

AS the men looked up they could see...fainly an image of a men...that man was Edward...he conquered Vitale once and for all and took back what was his...his kingdom

[Monk]

I think its safe to say, as long as it's posted here in the mead hall, somebody will read it

btw it looks good so far

[MiniKiller]

All right so its

yes-10
no-2
maybe-2

So I'll most likly do it keep voting though:)

[Beirut]

MiniKiller,

Your stories are good and that you are willing to write them out is better. What will really bring them to life is proper grammar. Spelling mistakes and bad punctuation will take the excitement out any story. Having the story and writing it out is like having the army and moving it around the battlefield; strategy. What you need to do is master the tactics of individual units. Grammar. Boring, but as essential as arrows to the longbowmen.

If you want to write, and write well, you must buy a book called The Elements of Style by E.B. White. It is for writers the equivalent of Sun-Tzu for the warrior (and it's very short, about ninety pages). Read it again, and again, and again. Your stories will go from glancing off heavy shields to armour piercing in short order.

I've been a newspaper writer for eight years and still make plenty of mistakes, but I know what I'm talking about. Keep writing (chicks love writers) and learn to master the basics. As you master them, your stories will become better and better.

[Kongamato]

I've read The Elements of Style, and Beirut is correct. It is an excellent guide to good writing.

Remembering it is another issue. I just hope it rubbed off on me enough to render my writing halfway decent.

[Voigtkampf]

My favorite, though I am by no means objective on this matter, is the Stephen King's On Writing… Give it a try if you get around to it...

[Beirut]

Voigtkampf,

You're right, Stephen King's book is excellent. Taught me more than one good lesson, and it's a good read too.

He cites E.B.White's Rule No. 17 several times - omit needless words. Always a good idea.

Another is to kill every adverb in sight.

And his favorite, and the most difficult to follow, is murder your darlings. Meaning if your most cherished phrase is causing problems with the rest of the story, don't change the story, just murder your favorite phrase and get on with it. Very tough to do, but always a good idea in the end.

Nice to see so many literary types here.

[MiniKiller]

Ya you should work the phrases around the book not the book around ur prases

thanks guys for the adivse. my grammer is really that bad?

lol i would obvioulsy take more time writing out my story so if u guys keep on given me tips I'll do it

[Beirut]

MiniKiller,

I hope you take all this as constructive criticism. We're all on the same side here.

A few tips from the masters (not me):

For dates use numbers, for most everything else, spell it out. Not 10 men but ten men.

Don't use ... too much. It gives the reader the impression you don't know what's going on in your story. Use it only to emphasize a moment of thought between your build up... and your point.

Try not to use exclamation points too much. They are the literary equivalent of laughing at your own joke. Save them for when needed.

Use your spell check during and after and always before publishing (or posting). Always. Every time.

Capitalize Lord. It's both correct and it makes God happy.

I think when writing speech that your players use, since they are from a different age, try avoiding contractions. It will sound better. Not Let's... but Let us.... More formal and fitting.

Read Shakespeare. Henry V. It will give you battle language ideas you never knew existed.

Just to be fair, some of what you do is very well done indeed. Your paragraphs are reader friendly and encourage the reader to finish your story. Large paragraphs, unless you have a captive audience, can make it difficult to keep the reader comfortable and interested.

All this is humbly offered.

[Voigtkampf]

Quote[/b] (Beirut @ Jan. 06 2004,16:42)]Voigtkampf,

You're right, Stephen King's book is excellent. Taught me more than one good lesson, and it's a good read too.

He cites E.B.White's Rule No. 17 several times - omit needless words. Always a good idea.

Another is to kill every adverb in sight.

And his favorite, and the most difficult to follow, is murder your darlings. Meaning if your most cherished phrase is causing problems with the rest of the story, don't change the story, just murder your favorite phrase and get on with it. Very tough to do, but always a good idea in the end.

Nice to see so many literary types here.

Indeed, it is nice, to say the least, respected Lord Beirut

I'm glad we agree on this one. I always wrote from my heart, and whilst trying to maintain certain standards, I always fought hard battles against the rules, even if more on a subconscious level. King's On writing was like it was written by myself, like most of his books too (wishes, wishes…).

Omit needless words, death to all adverbs and murder your darlings… Lord Himself knows I did this quite some time…

Lord Beirut, have you ever published any of your writings here on the Org? If yes, I would like to read some of them, I will do a search later, but if you would like to recommend some to me, please do so…


MiniKiller, don't forget that practice and only practices creates a master. Good luck and Godspeed.

[Beirut]

Voigtkampf,

The only writings I've posted here are newbie questions like how do I turn my computer on?, and is it the archer units that shoot arrows?. Arf

I wouldn't mind trying though. Could be a lot of fun.

MiniKiller,

Voigtkampf spoke the ultimate truth - practice (That got an exclamation point.) The only way to get better is to read a lot and write a lot.

[Voigtkampf]

Quote[/b] (Beirut @ Jan. 07 2004,07:54)]Voigtkampf,

The only writings I've posted here are newbie questions like how do I turn my computer on?, and is it the archer units that shoot arrows?. Arf

I wouldn't mind trying though. Could be a lot of fun.

That is too bad. Though I've taken a solemn oath that I will not write once more without getting paid for, I seriously play with a thought to write down a story of my favorite battle. It's not the greatest nor is it very impressive in comparison with some other battles I fought afterwards, or some others respected members that shared their experience with us on various threads, but it remained in my memory as my first major victory. I believe I should try and give back some of the wonderful inspiration I've come to enjoy from the Org. Hope you come to the same conclusion

[Ludens]

I'm very curious as to why the respected Lord Voigtkampf came to that oath.
But by all means post your stories. The Mead Hall could use some more patrons. If it is a small battle, doesn't matter. I doubt that any one will care about that. My first story, A Winter's Tale told about one of the shortest and least epic battles I've ever fought (including the tutorial ).

[Voigtkampf]

Quote[/b] (Ludens @ Jan. 07 2004,12:58)]I'm very curious as to why the respected Lord Voigtkampf came to that oath.
But by all means post your stories. The Mead Hall could use some more patrons. If it is a small battle, doesn't matter. I doubt that any one will care about that. My first story, A Winter's Tale told about one of the shortest and least epic battles I've ever fought (including the tutorial ).

I used to edit a paper where I studied. I also wrote, sometimes under aliases, because we lacked people who were able and willing to write. Apathy rules. Nearing to its high peak, a great murder of crows went down upon me and my small, yet fearless band of brothers (though they were almost all women…so, a band of sisters?), trying to snatch away from us our paper and take all the credit; it was as close to a shameless drugstore robbery as you can possibly get without obviously breaking the law - and since we are talking about law students, then you might get a clear picture. They failed, but I had to murder my darling or give it up. I killed it. A though choice, but still, I do not regret it.

So many hours of hard work invested and at the end, I felt like a piece of me was torn out. Afterwards, I never wrote a single word for free, it kept me safe from similar disappointments. I wanted to give something to that place where I spent my time and studied, but the crème de la crème felt like my work is better suited to promote their own petty carriers. It didn't make me bitter - dear Lord Himself knows I've seen my share of though luck events making this one a laugh – but it certainly destroyed my own wish to spend my rather precious time on similar pursuits.

Until now… My father has a saying that goes something like Men change their opinions, only statues remain firm and stir for all of their existence. I guess he is right, once again…

And I could definitely use some practice

Once more unto the breach…

[frogbeastegg]

More writers is always a good thing, but with more writers the demand for critics rises. So far we have a grand total of 0 critics. If we get enough writers we might attract a critic, on the other hand we could create a sea of souls asking why no one has come along and said how crap their latest work is. Or is it just me who likes being told about all the spelling and grammer errors and the urgent need for more paragraphs? Possibly, I'm a sadist like that, anyway that was the unit guide not my stuff in here.

More writers=good. Get busy and give it a go, you can't do worse than my early stuff and writing slowly grows on you for some strange reason. Bah I am not much good at encouragement

You know somewhere between me starting this post and me getting back from answering the phone to a wrong number the joke about critics, writers and numbers died. I think I shall leave the pun in its grave where it belongs and go hack up the beginning to my Eleanor series for the billionth time because I really hate the way it turned out on paper but have found no way to make it less like a vacum cleaner (i.e. reduce suck factor). Then I shall go do a little light reading. Sounds like a fun evening

[Beirut]

Voigtkapmf,

Don't let them keep you down. Pick up thine pen and smite them with the inky end of it. Hit them until they fall and kick them when they're down. Use your Bic like a sword and swing until blood is drawn.

That's what pens are for.

[Voigtkampf]

Quote[/b] (Beirut @ Jan. 07 2004,13:29)]Voigtkapmf,

Don't let them keep you down. Pick up thine pen and smite them with the inky end of it. Hit them until they fall and kick them when they're down. Use your Bic like a sword and swing until blood is drawn.

That's what pens are for.

Indeed, Lord Beirut,a good advice, but I strike not at shadows and dust…


Now, behold – 500 of them I've slain, one greater than the other, and the gates to my own custom avatar are pushed wide open Now that my purpose is fulfilled, I shell return to darkness, forever lurking and scheming and shell return to the light only to drag another beast, one more horrid than the other, for all to gaze in wonder upon…