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1.) I know you get one warning before you are excommed... Is that per year or per event? Example, If I send my troops into Flanders and Tolouse in ONE year to I get ONE warning for that or will I be excommed?
It's one warning for the year, no matter how many provinces you attack

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2.) I've noticed if they flee the province you get one warning to give the land back but if you don't do so it's no big deal, whereas if they are holed up inside the keep or whatever and you siege you will be excommed in the next year if they take losses.....is that true?
You have two years to either leave the province or make it completely your own (meaning storming the castle)

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4.) Finally, aside from some misfortune befalling the Pope, is there any way to be recommunicated?
Your king can die, the heir won't be excommunicated.

I'm sure about 1.) and 4.), pretty sure about 2.), as to 3.) I think it's the same for the computer as it is for you but I have never tested it.