Good story But you do rush the scenes a bit. For example here:
Quote Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (Efrem Da King @ April 25 2004,04:52)]Mr. Briggs went to sleep that night thinking everything over. He decided that something very strange must have occurred and it must have happened fast. In the morning he took a carriage to the merchant who owned the ship to ask him some questions. The merchant, Mr Marony, was a squat man with little beady eyes, and a dirty, tousled head of hair. He was a thoroughly untrustworthy character indeed, decided Briggs.

“Well Inspector, I imagine you have come to inquire about my ship. Let me see how I can help you,” Marony snarled. “Yes sir, I think the penguins did it, and I would like you to help me by supplying me with the trade routes nearing the town,” Briggs said. “The penguins” Mr Marony sounded like a cat that had had its tail stepped on, “Good sir what made you come up with that??” Briggs just smiled and announced that a good detective never gives away his tricks. Then Marony, getting more and more flabbergasted by the minute, gave up. “Here take these papers. They should give you the information you need. Now go
He is in and out again in two paragraphs. You should make the scenes somewhat longer, and add some more details.