Please no racist ones.
Some Priest ones may be okay, as long as they are not directly offencive, but try to stay clear of them, unless it is not offencive and just funny, like the Preist and the Vodka joke.
Okay, we need a topic like this.
-Capo
Please no racist ones.
Some Priest ones may be okay, as long as they are not directly offencive, but try to stay clear of them, unless it is not offencive and just funny, like the Preist and the Vodka joke.
Okay, we need a topic like this.
-Capo
Why do you hate Freedom?
The US is marching backward to the values of Michael Stivic.
Three brothers in ireland used to frequent a local pub. then one moved to america, and another to australia. the lone brother still went to the pub, but now he ordered three beers, taking a sip from each in turn. the patrons watched him go through his ritual for some time before one of them asked why. one's for my brother in AMerica, one is for my brother in Australia, and one is for me.
FOr a while, the man didn't come into the pub, then one day he finally reappeared. Sitting down at the bar, he ordered two beers. he drank from one, then the other. after a few moments, a bloke came over to him and said, sorry about your bereavement
what bereavement? the brother asked.
well, you only ordered two beers the bloke replied.
the remaining brother held up one mug, This one is for my brother in america. this one is for my brother in australia. as for me, i quit drinking.
60+ new units – including the mighty Indian War Elephants, Persian immortals and Indian naked female archers.
Guy pulls up to a red light in his brand new $500,000 custom Ferrari, and notices an old guy on a moped next to him. The old guy looks over and says, My, that sure is a nice car.
You bet. Paid a half million for it, boasted the owner. It can do 320 MPH.
Would you mind my taking a look inside?
Not at all.
The old guy walks over and peeks in, It's just as purdy on the inside. You sure are lucky.
Bet you wish you owned one, don't you?
No, says the old guy, my little bike does everything I want.
The light turns green, and the Ferrari owner floors it with the old guy still standing beside the car. I'll show the old fool, he thought.
He quickly reaches 100 MPH and looks in the mirror to see a tiny dark speck, growing larger & larger. It's the old guy on the moped. Confused, he guns it up to 200MPH. Relaxing, he looks into the mirror again, and there's the little speck, gaining on him. In complete disbelief, he floors it to 300MPH. Seconds later, he looks up and there's the little speck. Totally confused and disgusted, he pulls to the side of the road, with the moped coming up beside him.
What do you want from me? the owner screamed.
Uhh, I was just wondering if you'd mind unhooking my suspenders from your side mirror.
Our greatest glory lies not in never having fallen, but in rising every time we fall. Oliver Goldsmith
roflOriginally Posted by [b
60+ new units – including the mighty Indian War Elephants, Persian immortals and Indian naked female archers.
Let's do some jokes.
The only part of the joke I got was the part that showed it shouldn't be here - Beirut
Last edited by Beirut; 03-02-2006 at 19:36.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
heh,
here's one (those of a non-mathematical/nerdy disposition turn away now!):
why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
...to get to the same side.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Let us be wise in our choice of jokes. Too often these joke threads fall squarely into the realm of ethnic jokes and country bashing.
Please! Keep a Frontroom frame of mind when posting.
Unto each good man a good dog
Re: Let's do some jokes.
hey beirut, are sexual jokes kosher? or is that backroom fare?
(Double entendres are. Try to keep it clean though, please - Beirut)
Last edited by Beirut; 03-02-2006 at 20:58.
now i'm here, and history is vindicated.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Here's one we used to tease my father with:
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? Do you know?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Re: Let's do some jokes.
it's big and green and if it falls in your eye it hurts.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
what's the difference between a red and a yellow wall?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
I know I've got my own kind of "humor".
Last edited by Moros; 03-02-2006 at 20:17.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
stick to making beer and chocolate, gert.
now i'm here, and history is vindicated.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Edited posts always make me curious as to what all the fuss was about...
Why do I always arrive too late ?!
Last edited by Dutch_guy; 03-02-2006 at 20:14.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Hey, it's funny if you drink the beer I produce!stick to making beer and chocolate, gert.
~
you stick making recruitment fixes
Last edited by Moros; 03-02-2006 at 20:20.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
What's the difference between a dead bird?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
What the hell are EBAY tags?
Ok now I know.
Wheel down, wheel down to southward! Oh, Gooverooska, go!
And tell the Deep-Sea Viceroys the story of our woe;
Ere, empty as the shark's egg the tempest flings ashore,
The Beaches of Lukannon shall know their sons no more!
Rudyard Kipling, Lukannon
Re: Let's do some jokes.
tags that say EBAY!
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Yeah I got that.
Wheel down, wheel down to southward! Oh, Gooverooska, go!
And tell the Deep-Sea Viceroys the story of our woe;
Ere, empty as the shark's egg the tempest flings ashore,
The Beaches of Lukannon shall know their sons no more!
Rudyard Kipling, Lukannon
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Why was the blonde looking at the orange juice
because it said concintrate
"It is not so much that we need to be taken out of exile. It is that the exile must be taken out of us."- Lubavitcher Rebbe
"Its a great mitzva to be happy always" Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
We want moshiach now!!
Re: Let's do some jokes.
here's a stupid joke:
a man takes his rottweiler to the vet and says, "my dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him". so the vet picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
finally, the vet says "i'm going to have to put him down."
"what!!?", the man exclaims, "because he's cross-eyed!?"
"no, no", the vet says, "he's just really heavy".
now i'm here, and history is vindicated.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
yeah sticking to the edb doesn't seem to be a bad idea neither.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
More silly lightbulb jokes:
How many philosphers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Last edited by Lemur; 03-02-2006 at 21:43.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
What can a blond put behind her ears to make her look better?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Last edited by BigTex; 03-02-2006 at 21:59.
Wine is a bit different, as I am sure even kids will like it.
"Hilary Clinton is the devil"BigTex
~Texas proverb
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Ever notice how the set-ups for jokes are often far funnier than the punchlines? I wish people would stop about halfway through, sometimes.
"So these two sea turtles are dressed up like nuns, and they're drinking in a bar in Reno ..."
I just want to say, "No no, stop right there. That's the funny. You found the funny right there. Don't go on. You've achieved perfection."
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Good one.
Riding off this joke:
Why do you blondes wear hooped earings?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Re: Let's do some jokes.
There just seems to be less and less appreciation for the sacrifices we males make....
My wife left me. I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.
Anyway, I gave it up, but the other day, when she came home from shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said, "Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back....
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Give a man fire and hes warm for a day.
Light a man on fire and hes warm for the rest of his life.
My friend said that I thought it was pretty funny
Re: Let's do some jokes.
lol that's getting sigged.
I have a ton but they are all either way to innapropriate, or just down right mean, to say in the frontroom, or backroom. Heck, it's dangerous even to say them more than a whisper with the new gov't phone taps. Darn communits.
Why do you hate Freedom?
The US is marching backward to the values of Michael Stivic.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
That was my reaction to the question, 'How does Hitler get a hundred Pikachus on a bus?' The question was way funnier than the answer.
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Acid humour...
Re: Let's do some jokes.
Un-Frontroomish "humour" - Beirut
Last edited by Beirut; 03-03-2006 at 11:40.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein
Re: Let's do some jokes.
maybe you should explain that joke to me DA, because it doesn't sound "sooo wrong" or "tooo evil", it simply sounds like racism. but maybe i am mistaken, please explain?
now i'm here, and history is vindicated.
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