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  1. #17
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes

    It was a Scotland/Wales rugby International weekend in Edinburgh and as the crowds made their way Princess Street towards Murrayfield, a Rottweiler suddenly lunged towards an eight year old Scottish lass, with its jaws wide open ready to attack.

    The crowd nearby gasped in horror but, quick as a flash, a man in red jumped out of the crowd, grabbed the dog by the throat and throttled it.

    As the dead dog lay there, and the crowd cheered in admiration, a journalist from a well-known Scottish newspaper who had witnessed the heroic deed, went up to the man and said:

    'That was brilliant, I can see the headline now –
    'Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death'.
    The man replied, 'No you've got it wrong. I'm not here for the rugby!'

    'Don't worry' said the journalist, 'I can see the headline now –
    'Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler'.

    The man replied, 'No you're wrong again. I'm not Welsh; I'm from London .'

    The journalist said, 'Don't worry; I can see the headline now –
    'English ******* Strangles Family Pet'.
    There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.

    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”

    To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.

    "The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."

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