IF you ever don't want to call in sick.

[Devastatin Dave]

Calling in sick.......................


Employee: I'm calling in sick for today.

Nursing Service Office: What seems to be your problem?

Employee: The doctor says that I have anal glaucoma.

Nursing Service Officer: Anal glaucoma? What's that?

Employee: I just can't see my ass coming in to work today

[JAG]

lol Tell me you havent tried that Dave, I can just imagine you giving it a whirl.

[Devastatin Dave]

Quote[/b] (JAG @ July 03 2004,02:41)]lol Tell me you havent tried that Dave, I can just imagine you giving it a whirl.

I think the worst excuse I ever gave was once I had been drinking all night after I was promoted to staff sergeant and didn't feel like reporting in for duty. I called my supervisor and told him my dog had pissed on my only uniform I had since the rest of my uniforms were at the tailors getting my new stripes sewn on. He bought it, at least until the pictures got around of me pissing on a plastic ficus tree in the NCO club.

[solypsist]

one of my staff called in sick - he left a message on my voicemail- but failed to hang his phone up properly, so i was treated to a nice twenty minute recording of some bedside conversation and then him shagging his girlfriend.

i played it for him the next morning and...well, I was amused anyway.

[gaelic cowboy]

ROTFLMAO

[Teutonic Knight]

Quote[/b] (gaelic cowboy @ July 04 2004,08:38)]ROTFLMAO

ditto

[Mablung]

LMAO Soly, way to catch him out

[Devastatin Dave]

Quote[/b] (solypsist @ July 04 2004,02:10)]one of my staff called in sick - he left a message on my voicemail- but failed to hang his phone up properly, so i was treated to a nice twenty minute recording of some bedside conversation and then him shagging his girlfriend.

i played it for him the next morning and...well, I was amused anyway.

[chunkynut]

The funniest one i've heard of is also a bit worrying, my friends brother said 'I'm not coming in because I feel great' he had taken a extacy pill before work and then phoned his boss


Another was the friend above, she took the day off for her birthday and reliable reports say she drank 3 bottles of vodka woke up the next day and phoned work, 'I can't come into work because my house is full of cats.' unfortunately she wasn't really in the right frame of mind and she had been given plastic stretchy cats about 1cm tall for her birthday and they were all over the room

[BDC]

Quote[/b] (Devastatin Dave @ July 06 2004,09:55)]

Quote[/b] (solypsist @ July 04 2004,02:10)]one of my staff called in sick - he left a message on my voicemail- but failed to hang his phone up properly, so i was treated to a nice twenty minute recording of some bedside conversation and then him shagging his girlfriend.

i played it for him the next morning and...well, I was amused anyway.

Heh, I like your senses of humour.