To help pass the time!

[crazyviking03]

To help us pass the time until Rome comes out (or atleast for a few hours anyway..) here is my official ROME TOTAL WAR NOOB FIRST POST COMPETITION!!!. Rules are that you must make a post that looks like the first post of a really dumb noob with crazy questions about rome total war.
Every person can only post one ' noob post', but can coment and judge as much as they want after that. The prize you ask? hmm....Self-respect? Satifaction? I dont know, you think of something.

Here goes:

Hi I am new here so I dont know if this is right place but here goes... I was wondring when Rome Totla War comes out, will you get to use catipultz like in gladiator? cuz they ruled in that move when they burnd everyting it was crazy. Also I was w ondering will the elephants be big? I also wonderin if you have to know anything about history to play the game, cuz i dont know much about it, i hate my class. i also was wanting to know about pigs, a guy i knwo at school said that the game will have flaming pig things to use against elephants. If that is true that is gay, because ELEPHANTS RULE!!!! ok, sorry, just some questions tho, thnx!

[Psyco]

I'm changing mine.

Edit-

hi im a newb an i swa rome totle war (somting liek that ) i wanna no somting is there guns n stuf lollolloollolololololololllll guns n stuf r kool ~:p ~:p i thinks thre shold be gunz to kil the badguys lllolllolololoollllollolololollololololololllolol anywayz i liek kiln peole so put in gunz

[Jacque Schtrapp]

I can't figure out how to trade. I built a port and ships but I don't think I am making any money... Oh wait, wrong game. ~:p

[Beelzebub]

hay guys will rome war have spear guys cuz they were realy gay in medevil war i would kepe attacking the,m with my horses and they would allget raped it was so gay i mean i watched lord of teh ring and the rohens horse killed all the hobos so whoeve r made that game was dumb and this won better be gooder so i can win more cuz it was really gay

[Armchair Athlete]

I think Axeknight has made the best noob post for far praising XBox.

[discovery1]

COpy and pasted form the .com

TO WHO MAY CONCERN THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE EMPIRE THAT IS THE BRITISH EMPIRE!!! THE AMERICANS ARE REBELS AND ALWAYS SHALL BE SUBJECTS TO THE BRITISH REALM AND THE SOONER THEY KNOW THERE PLACE SO WILL THERE COUNTRY BENEFIT FROM OUR GREAT COUNTRY.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Oaty]

Will RTW be just like the BETA model I tested.





























OOPS!!!!! I forgot about the disclaimer I agreed to not to mention I was a beta tester. HEHE now that I have everyones envy I was'nt 1 one of those lucky (master)beta testers nope no envy here
Now to my nooby questions




Do I need a master giraffe breeder along with a master horse breeder to get those longneck horses or is it triggered by an event?

Also after a battle with flaming pigs will there be a feast? And will this boost morale or have a negative morale effect due to wasting the food supply?

Who wants to go have a battle with flaming pigs only (you know this will happen)

When I'm up against the Germans and they are flashing there manliness can I rear my horse to make him flash his goodies and would this be a good counter tactic especially if they have cavalry that could be intimidated by this.

Why are'nt the Barbarians dumb and let me set up all my catapults and entrench my army on a nice defensive hill just like they were historically portrayed in the movie Gladiator. Everytime I go to set up they either fallback or in the middle of setting up I get ambushed from the rear.

And my final question WHY IS THE AI SO STUPID. This is the 3rd series and still I somtimes sit there with archers and legionaires refuse to move, thats not so bad but if they are going to stand there they shouyld at least go into the tortouse shell agggghhh!!!! aghhhhhh!!!! agggggh !!!!!!! Agggggh

[Dead Moroz]

Hi! I'm old here. I'm very old... So, remind me, please, what game are we talking about?

[crazyviking03]

Haha, There are also the noobs that appologize like twelve times in their post like "sorry if this is the wrong forum" or "sorry, I havent been keeping up" or "sorry i just am excited" or "sorry i am new"


SHUT UP!!! YOU ARN'T SORRY!!!! IF YOU WERE YOU WOULDNT BE POSTING THIS STUPID @#%$!!!

:

[Sjakihata]

Hi

I am sorry. I am really sorry that I am sorry, it is not my intention to be sorry, for that I am very sorry. Furthermore, I would like this occasion to express how sorry I am, sorry for the poor, sorry for my typos, I am simply just sorry, so sorry.

I am sorry I could not help it

[SeveredSoul]

Good thread

Thank God I F0uN|) T|-|][s PlAc3 F][rSt.

Man I hate typing or just reading that 1337 CRAP. 6 years of CS made me wanna' get into that game and just hit the console and type /kill

"Terrosists Win."

GAH!



0====[========> S3v3r3dS0uL

[Blodrast]

hey, oaty: I dunno about n00bish, but definitely funny
faisal: R0FL

keep it up d00dz

Edit: btw, I believe froggy might have a point; we don't have nearly enough comments on boobs; wtf kind of noobs are we if among all of us only one mentions boobs ?? and that's a frog ! uhm, i mean, a girl ...erm, i mean...well, you know what i mean.

[frogbeastegg]

I think everyone who posts here should get a degree in 'n00bish as a foreign language'.

Blodrast is right, you lot are a bunch of slackers! Everyone knows that n00bs have a certain obsession with CGI females! I was expecting at least two posts asking which female RTW character was the da h0tz!!1! You people are just too mature for this n00bish topic

Valid alternatives also include comparing RTW female models to female characters from games like FFX-2, Tomb Raider and Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball. Commenting of whether the models have realistic jiggle or not is also n00bish.

You also lose points for missing the oppertunity to make a l33t comment about how "teh scr3aming w0m3nz will really be scr3aming wh3n th3y s33 my k1t ;) LolOlollooll!!!!11!!1 Im da manz!!!!1!!1!"

The things a frog has to suffer through when reading most game sites, the horror! The horror!

[Quid]

RTW ? What does that stand for then ? Is it a game where you can shoot others ? Can I have upgrades on my guns...errrmm...no, really, what is this all about then ?

Quid

[crazyviking03]

So many noobs! ah!


MORE BOOBS!!

[Dead Moroz]

New unit at the .com - Spartan Goblins.

[Kaiser of Arabia]

w00t isa n00b l33t rUlZ d00d lollloololololoolololoopeeps Isa gO1ng 2 1siP jU d0gZ man
I hAdde s0m3 gr8 id3z jU s1zl1nG s+3/\K
pr0n total war
s3x total war
l33t t0tal w/\R
Mafia Disc 2 peeps!
Ju want somma dist many 0 n00bz SHAG LIKE CRAZY lollololllooolololoolloloolllolollololololloolloolllolollololllollllololollolololooolololloollololol ololololollololollolololololollolollolololololllololollolololollllllllllooooooooolololoololollololol ololololololollolololololololololololololololololololololololollollolollolololololololloooloolololol olololloll.olollololololollololololoollolollololollolollololollololololollolololollololollololololol olollolollollolollllollololololololololololollolololloololololololollololololololololollololollololo lololololololololololloollllollololollololollollollololollolollollollolollolllllllolololollolololllo lololololllololollolololollololollllolololollololololololollololololololollolllolololololololollolol olololololololololllolollolollololololollolllololollololololollolololl;olollollolololollolololn bmhjubhbn jhvu88z cv75cv 5 5 c rdgesfghsgtrsthdxgn,l vcu7jthe5ujhhrawhaegerfhnagbtgrb
3 plUribiZ UnU/\/\ p1zzantZ ju p3NiZ faced p33pZ yo meaza g0tZ s0m3 q's fo da bruddas man!
W1Ll dere b3 p0rno in RT\/\/?
!!!OMG!! b00bZ!!11111111111111111111111111shift+1shift+1shift+1shift+one
-n0ob Cap0[/FONT]Which Evil Criminal are You?A Rum and Monkey crime.

[Aymar de Bois Mauri]

This is not for the competition, but I have to congratulate Dead Moroz . His units are just craking me up...

[Dead Moroz]

Aymar,

[L`zard]

Hi I am new here so I dont know if this is right place but here goes... I was wondring when Rome Totla War comes out, will you get to use catipultz like in gladiator? cuz they ruled in that move when they burnd everyting it was crazy. Also I was w ondering will the elephants be big? I also wonderin if you have to know anything about history to play the game, cuz i dont know much about it, i hate my class. i also was wanting to know about pigs, a guy i knwo at school said that the game will have flaming pig things to use against elephants. If that is true that is gay, because ELEPHANTS RULE!!!! ok, sorry, just some questions tho, thnx!
[/QUOTE]

D00d~ np y30 prob, 3h? L33t z00zr rUlz last,??

[flyd]

when does thi sgame come out??????????/

[Rob The Bastard]

ok...
How will the the hidden rooms be incorporated into the game?
How will you find the BFG?.
When will the Protoss/Orcs show up?
Can I be a Necromancer?
Who is Hannibal?
Were the Romans really in Britain... I thought that was the Germans?
Are the flaming pigs really going to be a playable faction?

[Axeknight]

hey d00dz i waz wondrin wen its cummin to xbox cuz i got a xbox an my comp iz sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame jus liek u LOLOOLOOLOOLOLOLOLOROFLMAO j/k

yeh an iz der gunna b rusel croe init cuz he rulez!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!111111!LOLOOLOLOLOOLOOLLOOL

AN OMG I LUV DA L33T MAD COOL ELFANTS DEY R SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL NOT LIEK U CUZ U SUK LOLOOLLLLOOLLOLROFLMAO J/K

iz it gunna b hard?????????/ cuz i dun wana hav 2 b a11 tactikall an cleva coz dat suk0RZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111LOOOOOOOLOOLLOLOLOL
LLL

iz der gunnnna b elfs init???????

plz anser mi questons or u suk!!!!!

[crazyviking03]

Yes, YES. Keep it coming!

[Steppe Merc]

frst of, y u stupd peeps angri abot da history? history sux! I dnt no bout a kelt, wht's dat? the other games were way to hrd, i contuned playing my SuperKillers 5000! can we build machine guns? that'd be kool! and da caltuplts, wow! I WNT DA ELPHANTS TO HAVE NAKED GURLS, DUDE!

Sorry, I'm no good at making up newbies sayings, since I always ignore them any way. :

[Steppe Merc]

If you really want to see bizarre posts, check out the .com. I don't know how many times I got cursed at for being to historical... I guess that's why I left.

[Sjakihata]

Hei (*outside competion* latin for hey)

I am really attracted by history and roman history inparticularly. I watched some programmes called Time Commanders which looked really awesome.
Now to the point, why I have come here. I am new you see, so I need some help. I read in an article that you could have burning pigs, can they fly as well? I mean, wow, imagine to fly around with burning pigs, it will really be lush to recreate history, do you not think so?


Another thing is the egyptiansm perfectly modelled, no anachronism they will rock! (pardon my french).

I really hope to get this game, when will it be out? And what system will I need, I mean I have this thing, given to me by my dad, called an x-box and I even got a gameboy, can I use those to play the game?

Oh well, I will have to wait and see, but just the though of hurling heads, screaming with women and assaulting with druids makes my head spin!!! The joy, I am so glad I am born in modernity and especially that, now we have the techonology to recreate history, we USE it.

Cheers,

[Marshal Murat]

SPAM POST!

[scooter_the_shooter]

the rules sy only one newb post for a person ~:p

[Marshal Murat]

Then I'll delete that and move it to the first one.