To help pass the time!

[crazyviking03]

To help us pass the time until Rome comes out (or atleast for a few hours anyway..) here is my official ROME TOTAL WAR NOOB FIRST POST COMPETITION!!!. Rules are that you must make a post that looks like the first post of a really dumb noob with crazy questions about rome total war.
Every person can only post one ' noob post', but can coment and judge as much as they want after that. The prize you ask? hmm....Self-respect? Satifaction? I dont know, you think of something.

Here goes:

Hi I am new here so I dont know if this is right place but here goes... I was wondring when Rome Totla War comes out, will you get to use catipultz like in gladiator? cuz they ruled in that move when they burnd everyting it was crazy. Also I was w ondering will the elephants be big? I also wonderin if you have to know anything about history to play the game, cuz i dont know much about it, i hate my class. i also was wanting to know about pigs, a guy i knwo at school said that the game will have flaming pig things to use against elephants. If that is true that is gay, because ELEPHANTS RULE!!!! ok, sorry, just some questions tho, thnx!

[Psyco]

I'm changing mine.

Edit-

hi im a newb an i swa rome totle war (somting liek that ) i wanna no somting is there guns n stuf lollolloollolololololololllll guns n stuf r kool ~:p ~:p i thinks thre shold be gunz to kil the badguys lllolllolololoollllollolololollololololololllolol anywayz i liek kiln peole so put in gunz

[Jacque Schtrapp]

I can't figure out how to trade. I built a port and ships but I don't think I am making any money... Oh wait, wrong game. ~:p

[L`zard]

Hi I am new here so I dont know if this is right place but here goes... I was wondring when Rome Totla War comes out, will you get to use catipultz like in gladiator? cuz they ruled in that move when they burnd everyting it was crazy. Also I was w ondering will the elephants be big? I also wonderin if you have to know anything about history to play the game, cuz i dont know much about it, i hate my class. i also was wanting to know about pigs, a guy i knwo at school said that the game will have flaming pig things to use against elephants. If that is true that is gay, because ELEPHANTS RULE!!!! ok, sorry, just some questions tho, thnx!
[/QUOTE]

D00d~ np y30 prob, 3h? L33t z00zr rUlz last,??

[flyd]

when does thi sgame come out??????????/

[Rob The Bastard]

ok...
How will the the hidden rooms be incorporated into the game?
How will you find the BFG?.
When will the Protoss/Orcs show up?
Can I be a Necromancer?
Who is Hannibal?
Were the Romans really in Britain... I thought that was the Germans?
Are the flaming pigs really going to be a playable faction?

[Axeknight]

hey d00dz i waz wondrin wen its cummin to xbox cuz i got a xbox an my comp iz sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame jus liek u LOLOOLOOLOOLOLOLOLOROFLMAO j/k

yeh an iz der gunna b rusel croe init cuz he rulez!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!111111!LOLOOLOLOLOOLOOLLOOL

AN OMG I LUV DA L33T MAD COOL ELFANTS DEY R SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL NOT LIEK U CUZ U SUK LOLOOLLLLOOLLOLROFLMAO J/K

iz it gunna b hard?????????/ cuz i dun wana hav 2 b a11 tactikall an cleva coz dat suk0RZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111LOOOOOOOLOOLLOLOLOL
LLL

iz der gunnnna b elfs init???????

plz anser mi questons or u suk!!!!!

[crazyviking03]

Yes, YES. Keep it coming!

[scooter_the_shooter]

yoyoyooyoyoyoyoyoy i am the koles 133t this gam3 9ownz woot woot woot


will the be big catipolvs and zwordz if s0 (001 are there big towns so i (An pillage like AOM abd read alert 2 shizzle wizzle i am so cool ARRGH WHENS THE @#%%##^^$ DEMO AHHH @#^%$#%#^%. MY BARB@rians wil P0wnz i am so coll shizzle wizzle yoyoyoyoyyoyoyoyoy. i am gonna be the 4irst to git et shizzle wizzzle lololooloolololololoolool i am gonna have the best strat ever i am gonna charge and i cant lose (ause they dont in the movies lololloloolollolo. yoyooyooyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyo i am so coll no one can beat me....... SHUT UP YOU STUPID VET YOUR POST COUNT MEANS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRR#$%@#@%#^*#*^%%&#

[Kongamato]

WTF!! how did i die?!?! what is this "flanking" BS? what's this "running away" thing my units are doing?! this game sux!! you suck!!! you're a cheater!! Nothing can stop an army of nothing but elephants!! I'm a big man with a girlfriend!!! My PC is better than yours!! I'm going back to CS, f**k this bulls**t!

[Blodrast]

wot is diz sh*t, i don't have no ****ing question, i am l33t and u suck !!!
i just came to tell u i will kick ur a$$ in MP with my uber flaming pigs rush !!!
yeah, jus cum and get 0wned cuz i RULE !!!
oh yeah, and ur roamn legions suck 2, cuz i'll make them chase my screaming womenz all over the field, and then kick ur a** with my hidden slingerz !
hey, any1 got v2 War Elephants ? I'll trade u 10 SoJ 4 it..

[Gregoshi]

Why don't the Romans just use mice against the elephants instead of flaming pigs? Is it that their meal is then already cooked after the battle?

[Steppe Merc]

frst of, y u stupd peeps angri abot da history? history sux! I dnt no bout a kelt, wht's dat? the other games were way to hrd, i contuned playing my SuperKillers 5000! can we build machine guns? that'd be kool! and da caltuplts, wow! I WNT DA ELPHANTS TO HAVE NAKED GURLS, DUDE!

Sorry, I'm no good at making up newbies sayings, since I always ignore them any way. :

[frogbeastegg]

OMG!!!11! OMG!!11!!!!11 U see the size of the screamin's woman's booty??? It's like wooooooowww!!!1! Is there a nude mod, cus taht's be awsome m8s!!

Yah and I just wanna tell you dudes that I#'m like totally l33t dueds cuz I beat da game in like 5 mintues, bet you can't do it faster i just get my peasants and like kill the **** out of eveyone and I winz!!1!!



Translation: I am sad; I also lie about my achievements with games becasue it makes me feel big. What is a spell check, please?

[Blodrast]

hmm, froggy, u sure that some1 kewl & l33t would say "booty" ?

[frogbeastegg]

A well brought up, polite frog like myself wouldn't know if the kool krowd would say that or not

[crazyviking03]

The game is afoot, the compitition grows fierce!!!

[scooter_the_shooter]

who is winning so far viking

[Marshal Murat]

Hey Guyz, new 2 de forum!
I was wondering about a few things.
When's Rome Total War coming out?
Whens the demo?
Can the legionarries for testudo?
Can I be like you Viking?
Do I need a new computer?
I build a port and no money is generated! Help me please!
Oh yea, I beat Shogun in 3 years!
When do I get orcs?
Can I play the Russian Nomads?
Whats a phalanx?
What is a legion?
Dis is da wa 2 tpe dawgs!
I was the Vikings, and I raided this provence called, Litteread, or something like that, and I had these really awsome viking guys, and they were like the best, so I like attacked these red and blue dudes, and thier armies were like way bigger, so I was like "Oh no!" Then I like placed my archers that I had brought like right near the enemy lines, and thought "oh no they'll never attack me" Then the just attacked me, and I was like F&%#$(%)#*#@(@) you blue %)$(@!%^ and then my voiking guys were like ambushed, and that was like terrible so I got like %$&^*#@ you ambushers, and I like lost the battle, and then there was this wierd little screen that poped up that said lost, so I was like NO way you $#@^ computer! And I took a bat, and whacked the screen.

Whats sapping?
How do I protect my phalanx?
How do you protect your phalanx?

I have these great mod ideas.
Napoleonic Period
Middle Earth
Hellenic Total War!

So what do you think?

[Steppe Merc]

If you really want to see bizarre posts, check out the .com. I don't know how many times I got cursed at for being to historical... I guess that's why I left.

[Axeknight]

OMG!!!11! OMG!!11!!!!11 U see the size of the screamin's woman's booty??? It's like wooooooowww!!!1! Is there a nude mod, cus taht's be awsome m8s!!

Best so far, but the truth is we're going to get at least one post like this when Rome comes out

Either that or they'll actually have made the nude mod themselves, and have a video of two screaming woman units fighting

[Sjakihata]

Hei (*outside competion* latin for hey)

I am really attracted by history and roman history inparticularly. I watched some programmes called Time Commanders which looked really awesome.
Now to the point, why I have come here. I am new you see, so I need some help. I read in an article that you could have burning pigs, can they fly as well? I mean, wow, imagine to fly around with burning pigs, it will really be lush to recreate history, do you not think so?


Another thing is the egyptiansm perfectly modelled, no anachronism they will rock! (pardon my french).

I really hope to get this game, when will it be out? And what system will I need, I mean I have this thing, given to me by my dad, called an x-box and I even got a gameboy, can I use those to play the game?

Oh well, I will have to wait and see, but just the though of hurling heads, screaming with women and assaulting with druids makes my head spin!!! The joy, I am so glad I am born in modernity and especially that, now we have the techonology to recreate history, we USE it.

Cheers,

[Marshal Murat]

SPAM POST!

[scooter_the_shooter]

the rules sy only one newb post for a person ~:p

[Marshal Murat]

Then I'll delete that and move it to the first one.

[crazyviking03]

Hmmm, It is hard to say right now. They all look like really authentic crazy .com n00b posts! I think right now, It is between Bloodrast with his angry noob flame post, and Marshel Murat with his thousand questions with no stopping to breath post. Keep it up!!!

[crazyviking03]

If I find that someone has copied and pasted a noob post from the .com.....




Actualy, there is nothing I can do about it! WOO HOO!

Keep the noobness coming!!!

[scooter_the_shooter]

were you able to read mine or did i use to much 133t

[crazyviking03]

Haha, nah, I could read it. The funniest thing is that I used to know this guy in high school who would actualy post like that on forums all the time!! Even after his noobness was over, it was kind of strange.

[Beelzebub]

hay guys will rome war have spear guys cuz they were realy gay in medevil war i would kepe attacking the,m with my horses and they would allget raped it was so gay i mean i watched lord of teh ring and the rohens horse killed all the hobos so whoeve r made that game was dumb and this won better be gooder so i can win more cuz it was really gay