GAH!

Vanya played demo! Vanya sez... them trees look kinda purdy!

Vanya sez... green highlight not so bad... it tell Vanya where the heads are. See green? Got heads!

Vanya sez... when demo kick off, and narrator says, "and now the peeps will trade javies for a while, lets kick back and sip some sake...", it reminded Vanya of the legendary pav wars of MTW. Only, now, Vanya sees 'roided hurlers chukking spears like olympians! And naturally, a volley might kill an ant here or there... of they lucky. It's really like farting into the wind: youz smell it, but in the end, it doesn't really affect youz.

Then in Trebia... WHOA! Vanya kill enemy pigdog general with a sacred charge straight up his rear! That general lost his head faster than youz can say "HOT DANG!"... even faster than youz can feel a hard slap after using one of them pickup lines like "You must be from Tennessee..." or "...from Jamaica..." or whatever...

But Vanya's elephants run away like girlie-men! Vanya sez... WTF?!? Vanya wanted 'phants stomping heads! But first 'phant sat like a panzy shooting arrows instead of getting down to the business at hand and flattenning noggins as was Vanya's whim!

Vanya sez... num keys... why can't 4 and 6 ROTATE the camera instead of SLIDING it? 1,3 can slide it just fine! Having to mouse the rotate make Vanya dizzy... when head spins too many times, RPM gets kinda "up there", and Vanya's surrogate head has better of chance of slipping off and going balistic! In this case, Vanya had to pause the friggin' battle, tell all the battling joes to "have a time-out" so that Vanya could pick up His surrogate head from a pile of mud. Vanya sez... at least the head could have landed in some blood or exposed intestins or something... but MUD?!? How degrading... Vanya felt like He had just been to one of them girlie-men spas at a plush Vegas resort... one where people PAY to have MUD splashed all over their bodies and smeared up into every crevice... But, when youz pig out on Tijuana Torpedoes, then at least the chemical weapons attacks that follow smell of lavender, like a bouquet of freshly cut flowers, or of cinnamon-kiwi-apple spices...

So, it's not all bad.

Vanya sez... Vanya dazzled by eye candy. Vanya was itching to call the Lawnmower Man to come cut the grass... Vanya worried neighbors would complain to Homeowner's Nazi Association... but then that would give Vanya excuse to cut their heads off... so again, there is a silver lining to every tragedy!

"When in doubt, take more. Always be a fan of more."
-- Vanya

GAH!