The Throne of Kings

[DemonArchangel]

the King must have a beer belly

"Suck it in Will, suck it in"

[Desiderata]

the King must have a beer belly

"Suck it in Will, suck it in"

ha ha ha like it - a king gone to seed!!

[Desiderata]

I remember it was very late one evening when the King and the Chamberlain both came to the Throne Room. The King had been married for just over a month and the celebrations had lasted 2 weeks, which seemed an inordinately long time to drink and eat. During the whole time, the Chamberlain had watched over the court like an eagle.

“My Lord, thank you for agreeing to meet with me at a time, when I am sure you would rather by elsewhere.” said the Chamberlain softly.

“It’s fine George; but if we can get this over and done with as soon as possible. I have a warm bed waiting for me.” replied the King, yawning and stretching “What is it that demands that we meet at this ungodly time of night?”

“Of course Sire. We have a problem with Lord Gilbert.” announced the Chamberlain.

The King stopped in mid-stretch, his arms still high above his head and looked the Chamberlain straight in the face, “What kind of problem?”

“I have had him watched and I’ve personally observed him during the feasting. At night he had regular meetings with the emissary from Arragon, but during the day they hardly spoke a single word together.” explained the Chamberlain “This led me to wonder why they should act like this. So I did some checking around. Gilbert is badly in debt; he has gambling problem that he tries and fails to keep in check and this is becoming a problem. I’d like to call Hugh, he’s been doing some digging around in his returns and has uncovered something.”

“Hmmm, are you sure that Hugh can be trusted?” asked the King

The Chamberlain lent back in his chair and looked earnestly at the King, “Sire, as you know the Exchequer has grown well with Hugh’s guiding hand and he has shown himself to be a man whose loyalty to you and the Kingdom has become a matter of regard for other nobles.”

“This much is true; your counsel in choosing him for the post was wise old friend. Bring him in.”

The Chamberlain stood and moved over to the door, opening it slightly he whispered to a guard outside and in a short time the Chancellor came in carrying several very large ledgers, which he set down on the table after bowing deeply to the King.

The Chamberlain nodded to the Chancellor and indicated that he should speak.

The Chancellor opened the two ledgers in front of him with a flourish of his hands “My Liege, it would appear as though Lord Gilbert’s returns are mystical indeed. I have here the ledgers of money he has used and money he has received. The latter, his purchase ledger and the former his sales ledger. Now..”

“Hugh, spare me the minutiae of the exact names for this and that and save me from any long convoluted explanation of the monies. My brain is not equipped to deal with that; it was after all, why you were given the job.” cut in the King.

“As you command” the Chancellor bowed, almost scrapping his forehead on the table “But to have some understanding of the problem, a little explanation is required.”

“Oh god I though you might say that. Ok, but keep it simple and above all, short.” The King protested.

“Certainly Sire. As I was saying this red ledger here is for money received from taxes, tributes, etc for the province and this black ledger is for money spent on such things as improvements, wages, bribes to officials and so forth” the Chancellor was beginning to warm to his theme as the Chamberlain cut in.

“You mean we record bribes? Isn’t that, well, a bit bloody stupid?”

A benign smile slinked its way across the Chancellor’s face, “It would be George, if we wrote down ‘bribe to gatekeeper of Florence castle’, but of course we don’t. We record those as campaign expenses or some such. Now my Liege, we know who much money was in the treasurer of each province at the beginning of the year, we know how much money was spent and how much money was received and at the end of the year the books should balance.”

“And do they?” asked the King, clearly bored with the topic already.

“Yes Sire and that’s very unusual.” The Chancellor said with an air of finality.

The King and the Chamberlain looked blankly at each other, clearly bemused and befuddled.

“Why?” they asked in unison.

The Chancellor’s smile now threatened to split his head in two, “My Lords; the borders of our great country are secure, as are the towns within. However, there are many areas within where traders are loath to go. Lawlessness and crime are so high in some areas, that merchants use the services of private armies to protect their stock and wealth. Farmers continually underestimate the amount of stock that they have and how much their crops will yield in any given harvest. Dock workers are often bribed to underwrite the value of items going in and out of ships, to avoid taxes and duties. Traders and artisans are like bloated leeches on the body of the state, sucking money out and producing inferior goods all the time. A prime example Sire, if I may be so bold, is your throne.”

The King immediately sat straighter and the Chamberlain’s eyes nearly landed on his lap he was so surprised by the sheer audacity.

The Chancellor felt sufficiently emboldened to go, “The old Jew has basically screwed you. The Throne would have cost 250 florins had you paid straight away; however, we are committed to a contract that will last in perpetuity and likely as not cost many more times than that. It is symptomatic of corruption across the kingdom Sire and means that provincial ledgers rarely balance one year to the next. So to have a province with returns that do balance, indicates a governor clever enough to be able to take money, but not so clever as to make sure that his tracks are covered.”

The Chamberlain’s face had become crimson and thunderous clouds had gathered over the Kings head. The throne room fell quiet for some minutes, as each were lost in their thoughts; the King no doubt thinking through his best options for removing the embezzling Gilbert and the Chamberlain of various torture methods that could be used on the old jeweler.

“Options?” the King commanded in a voice laden with dread and portent.

It was Hugh D’ Gascoigne who spoke first, quietly and assertively “We have a number of options Sire. We could try the man for treason, have him met an accident, send him on a suicide mission against another country, for example the Almohad or we could bring him here for discussions over the exact nature of his embezzlement. Of course, his tongue would need to be loosened by judicious use of the rack. Each has option has its pros and cons. He is well respected and a trial would be difficult to find a case for treason, but it would send a clear message of the strength of the Crown. An accident would appear too convenient and may cause discontent within his province; his men are very loyal to him. A suicide mission opens the possibility of open conflict against a much stronger army, which we could neither afford to maintain an army required and would impact on our very profitable trade. A discussion here would prompt questions to be asked in the outlying provinces and the governors may decide that their fate would be better served within the purview of another nation Sire.”

“George, what are your thoughts?” the King asked the Chamberlain, who was still busy on devising more methods to exact revenge on Elijah.

The Chamberlain stroked his beard and nodded slowly, “I agree with your options Hugh and thoughts on the possibilities, but there are there are two further options Sire. We could bring him here with his family. Rather than stretch his neck, I have a quiet word in his ear. I will tell him that we know he has embezzled the kingdom and should he take any further stupid actions it will be his daughter that meets her fate and not him. Or we could strip him of his office. That could have the same effect as trying him for treason, except the bugger will still be alive and able to cause problems. I favour bringing him here Sire.”

Hugh D’ Gascoigne listened intently and bowed his head towards the Chamberlain, “Rather as you did with me, but without the threat George?” he said a quiet voice devoid of feeling.

“Correct” said the King with an air of finality “But in your case, you had valuable talents and these have saved your neck. Gilbert has none that I can see. Unfortunately, I was lumbered with him from my Father, who had a very very short list of potential governors. Thankful this list is growing, as we trade there are more people coming to the fore who are more able than others to govern. This is what we shall do. Bring Gilbert here; say that I wish to meet with him in secret to discuss ideas on how we may strengthen our alliance with our southern neighbors. At the same, let it slip to the Spanish emissary that Gilbert has been planning with the Arragonese, discussing how they may increase their holdings in the Catalan region. At the same time, let the emissary know that we are not best pleased with this and our alliance with them remains as strong as ever. Keep only a notional guard around Gilbert when he arrives; remember Gilbert is here to have covert discussions. If I know old Rodriguez, he will have had Gilbert followed and know as much as we do about his intrigue and should take the bait and have the problem removed for us during a hunting trip that Gilbert will take on his fourth day.”

The King stood, “ Now gentleman, if you don’t mind I have a wife to see about an heir. Oh and George, have a chat with the old Jew; in your own way and time. Good work Hugh, you are repaying me and the country well.”

The Chamberlain’s face lit up, he bowed his head with over mock formality and left after the King, the Chancellor stood and bowed from his waist but stayed behind. His face was a over boiled with two competing emotions; pride in a job well done and anger at having his suspicions about the King and the Chamberlain confirmed. For a long time he sat there, occasionally looking around and then staring at the ledgers, the table or at an undefined point of space. The rest of the castle was quiet, still and little could be heard; the soft sound of two people laughing that came from the Kings bedchamber, the intermittent sound of a guard patrolling the corridors. When the Chancellor did get up to leave, he did as though he had aged 30 years in that short meeting; his shoulders were slumped, his gait unsteady and body weary.

So this was how the fate of men could be decided; coldly and sandwiched between things of more importance. I well remember that King’s tone; final, cold and decisive. He was man who was used to orders being followed without questions, of sending men in to the thick of battle knowing that they could well die as a result. It chilled me to the core.
...

edit for typos

[Desiderata]

The doors to the Throne Room were thrown open and the King stomped in shouting obscenities, some so coarse and vulgar that my gilt started to curl at the sides. I had heard mutterings that he had a loud and violent temper, but had never seen it.

“Those bloody stupid f***ing ba*****d cr***ing Arragonese” he truly was in a foul temper. Relations with Arragon had grown frosty over the last two years, firstly with the assassination of Lord Gilbert and then the Kings’ refusal to enter in to an alliance with them. Now it would appear that they had upped the ante somehow and the King was hopping mad. In fact, it wasn’t so much hopping as jumping up and down on the Arragonese flag that had been presented to his father. Following behind the King at a safe distance was the Chamberlain, the Chancellor and bringing up the rear, the now heavily pregnant Queen Inga.

The King’s tirade increased in volume, swearing down Death and Destruction to all Arragonese, questioning the parenthood of their king and causing my gilt to lift just a little more. As he stamped around the room, his advisors sat at the table and his Queen sat in her throne beside me. After a time, the King’s voice subsided to a dull roar, but still a very large dark cloud was across his face.

“Come my King, sat here beside me and let us discuss what has happened.” the Queen soothed.

Grabbing a goblet of wine, the King stalked over to me and threw himself down. The others waited for him to cool down and talk, not wanting to be the subject of his anger by interrupting his thoughts. Eventually the King finished his wine and gestured for more from a cowering servant who was as white as fresh snow.

“George, please tell everyone what news has been received from Aquitaine.” said the King in high dudgeon.

“We have just received word that the Arragonese successfully bribed and then took possession of the province. Apparently, the cost of this treachery was 4000 florins paid to the new Governor. They invaded with a force of 500, King Sancho II leading his troops with his son, in to our towns.” The Chamberlain spoke quietly, holding his anger in check.

With this news the King launched in to another tirade and again, the others waited for him to settle before they spoke.

“We shall take Aquitaine back. Tell the nobles to mass an army from each of our provinces; longbows from Wales, billmen from Mercia, hobilars from Wessex and the royal company of shield will march there and put there lands to the sword.” spat the King. The Chamberlain and Chancellor looked at each other and reddened.

“What is wrong with that? Come on you two, spit it out” shouted the King, infuriated no doubt by the furtive glances.

“Sire, these are affairs of state and of war, perhaps our war council should be convened to discuss all the options?” asked the Chamberlain, whilst tilting his head to the Queen.

“War council? What f***ing War Council?” the King seethed with anger and then looked directly at his two advisors “Do you mean that we should discuss this privately? Without the Queen being here?”

The Chamberlain went scarlet and mumbled apologetically “Sire, may I say in all candour and with no taint of disrespect to the Queen, but she is with child and these affairs are perhaps not for her delicate constitution at this time.”

“Sir, I stood by my father’s side whilst matters of state were discussed. I will stay and there will be no more of that said.” The Queen’s words were said with an icy chill. She was reminding the others, that her father’s empire was three times the size of English crown.

The King nodded at her words “So let’s get this army together and bash some Arragonese heads then!”

The Queen turned to her husband, leant in and spoke quietly “That could be a problem, we cannot send an army to Arragon from her. To do so, we must cross the Channel and as yet, the ports which would receive our men are not yet completed.”

The King swore another oath “Bugger it then, we’ll muster an army in France and send it to fight the French. My idiot brother can go and get some exercise; fat lazy indolent drunken swine.”

The Chamberlain nodded his head passionately, “Sire, this we can do and we should”

The Chancellor looked meekly at his hands resting on the table, the King and Chamberlain looked at him for his support to the plan, but ended up looking at the balding top of the financiers head.

“Well Hugh, what is your counsel?” asked the King. The Chancellor looked even more sheepishly at his hands and shrugged his shoulders. I could feel the King begin to stiffen once again, as though he would leap across the room at the throat of Hugh D’ Gascoigne.

The Chancellor coughed slightly and spoke quietly “Sire, unfortunately our treasurer is not as wealthy as we had hoped, the grain harvests have been down, trade has suffered from the storms in the channel and the ports in Northumbria, Wales and Wessex are yet to be completed. The loans we had to take out for the wedding feast are due to be repaid this year as well Sire. We could try and retake Aquitaine, but to take Arragon could bankrupt you Sire.”

Not a word was said. The King and Chamberlain stared at the Chancellor in icy silence. The Queen eventually broke the spell, “It is just like Saxony” she said.

The stares shifted towards the Queen, the King was now frowning so intently that his eyebrows were in danger of copulating on the bridge of his nose.

“My dear, what on earth are you talking about?” the King eventually asked in a voice laden with sarcasm.

“My father faced a very similar situation about 10 years ago my beloved husband. The Danes decided to invade and take over the province of Saxony; a region that was full of promise of trade wealth. It was also one our provinces that formed a bridge between the North and the Baltic Sea’s. When the Danes invaded, my father’s advisors were full of plans to retake the province, then go on and smash through Denmark; all except one quiet voice of reason, his Chancellor, Lord Disbalt. He quite rightly showed that to retake a province would many florins and to invade Denmark would cost us even more, as the Danes would fight like tigers to keep their capital and not be snuffed out of existence. He argued that a war can be profitable and can be thought of as an investment; it can take many years for the investment returns the money to repay the initial outlay. To have retaken Saxony and then invade Denmark would have cost my father too much; it was better to accept the loss of Saxony for a while and then retake it later, then to have reacted straight away and invaded and lost all of his regions as they rebelled. Of course, there’s always the Rome question as well.”

“Sorry; what damn Rome question?” asked the King

“The imbecile Prince of Rome, Pope Urban II. He was and is a lover of the underdog; albeit that the Danes invaded us first, had we reacted and retaken Saxony, then we could well have been excommunicated. Not a personal problem for Father, but it would have been a problem for our more zealous regions.” explained the Queen.

The King’s frown was now even more intense, “So your advice, is not to try and retake Aquitaine at all? But your Father holds Saxony and also Denmark. I remember that the Danes rebelled against their King, skewered his head on a pike and gave it to him as a present.”

The Queen smiled, it was the look of a hunter who has trapped their prey “Absolutely, it was cheaper for Father to send spies and assassins to send Saxony and Denmark in to turmoil. The Danish King had been very lax about border security and they slipped across easily; three years in the brewing and a civil war broke out when the Danish heir met an accident when hunting. The people rose up and the Danes were accepted in to the Holy Roman Empire as brothers. So my advice darling is this; to retake Aquitaine would cost you dearly, Urban II would probably excommunicate you and the French would no doubt seize the moment to take Normandy. To lose one province, Sire, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose your kingdom would be careless. This is statehood and real politik on a grand scale my love.”

The King’s face cleared of its frown, a smile crept up on him and jumped into it’s place, soon a chuckle burst from his lips and became a deep laugh. The Chancellor looked towards the Queen and bowed his head; the Chamberlain watched the exchange between the King and Queen and then smiled as he heard the Queen’s reasoning.

“So this is how I am to be taught statesmanship, by my wife, the daughter of the Holy Roman Emperor. Capital. My love, I follow your reasoning and I will follow your advice; but one day, Sancho’s head will adorn my castle walls, Aquitaine will be received back in to our fold and with it, Arragon.”
.........................

I may not be able to post an installment for about 6 days, as Im moving house soon. But when I do get my pc 'out to play', I'll add more then.

[Ludens]

The topic of spelling and grammar has arisen several times, perhaps it would make a good addition to your technical topic, Ludens? Then it would be stored safely in one place and new writers could look at the various viewpoints with less difficulty.

Et tu, Froggy?


Desiderata, I like the story, and I like Ingmar. However, I got a bit confused in the third chapter: chamberlain and chancellor? Those words a bit too much alike for easy reading. Also, you shouldn't use abbrevations. Contractions are fair game, but nobody uses etc. in normal speech. Same goes for Ok. Last thing: it's Aragon, not Arragon.

I was also a bit disappointed that you hardly use the throne-perspective: it seems more like 'third person omniscent' at times. Perhaps it was unreasonable, but I expected it would show that a throne was telling the story.

But otherwise, good story, waiting for part five.

P.s. what happened to the font?

[frogbeastegg]

Et tu, Froggy?

Me? :hides dagger behind back: No :looks innocent, tries not to step in the blood leaking for Ludens Caesar:

No, I'm not joining the people asking for a huge guide. I meant more a case of ... well, you started your topic on punctuation of dialogue and then mentioned the idea of a topic devoted to the discussion of technical aspects of writing. I thought spelling and grammer might make a good discussion for that topic. A discussion by whoever wants to join in, not a guide.

P.s. what happened to the font?

Highlight some text, then look above the white answer box. You should see a menu on the top left with [Font] in it. Click the down arrow and you can play with different fonts.

EDIT: Gah! So busy playing around with the quotes that I forgot to say good work!

[Desiderata]

Many thanks for your thoughts and input - house move tomorrow, so it'll be a few days b4 Im eady n able to do the next part.