you don't need governors in every settlement. In fact, putting a family member on the dead track as governor of a minor provincial town will greatly contribute to his degeneration, provided he remains there. use them strategically, e.g. to calm down a newly captured larger town for a while with his shining influence or the like.
having less governors also means more heavy cavalry to throw into battle...even if they are of no use for anything, they make formidable units.
anyway, if you need more family members, go and fight some decent battles with captain-led armies. Go for heroic victories if possible and watch your captains become "men of the hour" and thus a worthy addition to your family. If they suit you and are not too old, adopt them. note, though, that his new brothers might not be too glad to have another competitor for father's heritage (or the faction throne), and develop bad traits (see the character development guide for that).
sometimes a message will propose you a "suitable candidate for adoption". this generally happens when your number of family members is rather low, so don't rely on that.
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