RTW Humor

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TinCow 22:26 05/10/04

I'm interested in seeing what other 'jokes' people have found inside RTW. In the Entrance Hall, Scythed Chariot posted a link to his website where most unit stats can be found. It looks like he ripped them from a game file. In the Rebels list I found the following:

http://www.onlinedesert.com/rtw/?faction=slave&id=68

Yubtseb Elephants

These mysterious creatures from the middle principalities of farthest Terra Nova are the children of of Gnitekram, the God of Shiny Things That Man Does Not Need But Desires Anyway. Dark and foul are the ceremonies that summon them; great and scary are their tusks; terrible is their gaze; unwashed are their riders; cruel and unforgiving their masters. Flee in terror. Run for the hills.

Yubtseb is Bestbuy in reverse and Gnitekram is Marketing in reverse.

Kraxis 23:40 05/10/04

Try and get Egypt to ask for you to become a Protectorate... Then you will get a very interesting message.

Steppe Merc 23:56 05/10/04

Yeah, that Pharoh sure has a high view of himself. I would say the Amazons are up in North Russia are a joke... a very cruel one at that.

Also I can't quite figure out what the point is off those fat guys in your retinue, the drinker guys. And the Chief Enuch is a bit scary.

Akka 23:59 05/10/04

Originally Posted by Kraxis:
Try and get Egypt to ask for you to become a Protectorate... Then you will get a very interesting message.

Well, the only answer I got was "Pharaoh rule is precious and he doesn't wish to give it up to you for now" or something like that.
Nothing particulary interesting. I suppose that you need them to be in a particular situation to get funnier answer.

What was he supposed to say ?

desdichado 00:18 06/10/04

Originally Posted by Akka:
Well, the only answer I got was "Pharaoh rule is precious and he doesn't wish to give it up to you for now" or something like that.
Nothing particulary interesting. I suppose that you need them to be in a particular situation to get funnier answer.

What was he supposed to say ?

I think you have to get Egypt to want you to be their protectorate - not a clue how you would go about getting them to ask though???

ChaosLord 01:51 06/10/04

Heh, I have a family member who has the vice "Pawn of the Gods: This man's life is no longer his own. The gods have plans for him, although these have yet to be revealed. -1 Influence." So, I took it as a sign and made him my factions heir, i've decided mighty Vulcan wants me to kill the dirty backstabbing Egyptians, so hes currently gathering any army in North Africa. :)

sakuraoni 02:16 06/10/04

dunno if anyone caught it yet, but there's a definite reference to Life of Brian in the Judean Zealots. here's excerpt: "Their loyalty may be to Judea, but each group is its own one true resistance movement, or peoples front, or popular front."

...cough....

son of spam 02:22 06/10/04

^

Oh yeah! Popular front for the liberation of Judea!

No! It's the Judean People's Front!

lol...

Actually, I've never seen judean zealots yet tho.

Kraxis 02:27 06/10/04

Originally Posted by desdichado:
I think you have to get Egypt to want you to be their protectorate - not a clue how you would go about getting them to ask though???

Indeed... I don't know how, but I guess it would entail the Egyptians to first become very powerful and have borders with you and most likely some combat where you aren't exactly showing great promiss.
Anyway I won't tell what the joke is as it really needs a screenshot, at least I think so. You know it is one of those 'you had to have been there'.

discovery1 02:31 06/10/04

It wouldn't happen to involve a quote from a poorly translated japanese game would it?

metatron 02:34 06/10/04

Romani ite domum. Heh.

Kraxis 02:37 06/10/04

Originally Posted by discovery1:
It wouldn't happen to involve a quote from a poorly translated japanese game would it?

discovery1 02:39 06/10/04

People named Romulus they go house? or Romans go home?

DisruptorX 04:38 06/10/04

Originally Posted by discovery1:
It wouldn't happen to involve a quote from a poorly translated japanese game would it?

Dear God, I know where this is going. Say no more.

Magraev 07:08 06/10/04

All your cities are belong to us?

TinCow 18:26 08/10/04

Last night I saw a Spanish fleet commanded by Admiral Akbar.

Lemur 18:37 08/10/04

The Full Text

Reg: They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.

Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: Yes.

Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return? (he pauses smugly)

Xerxes: The aqueduct?

Reg: What?

Xerxes: The aqueduct.

Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

Masked Commando: And the sanitation!

Stan: Oh yes ... sanitation, Reg, you remember what the city used to be like.

Reg: All right, I'll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done ...

Matthias: And the roads ...

Reg: (sharply) Well yes obviously the roads ... the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads ...

Another Masked Commando: Irrigation ...

Other Masked Voices: Medicine ... Education ... Health

Reg: Yes ... all right, fair enough ...

Commando Nearer The Front: And the wine ...

General Audience: Oh yes! True!

Francis: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if the Romans left, Reg.

Masked Commando At Back: Public baths!

Stan: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now.

Francis: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order ... (general nodding) ... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a place like this. (more general murmurs of agreement)

Reg: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what have the Romans done for us?

Xerxes: Brought peace!

Reg: (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh ... (scornfully) Peace, yes ... shut up!

Lemur 18:44 08/10/04

Okay, I didn't really state why I was quoting Life of Brian at length -- examine the build description for aqueducts. All shall be made clear.

Lord Ovaat 19:12 08/10/04

One of my govs, Gaius the Lewd, has his own personal "beast master". That's a combo destined for the Siberian Amazons.

PFJ_bejazuz 20:37 08/10/04

It has added a dimension to belonging to the PFJ :)

my sig quote comes to mind each time I exterminate a city

galingula1 23:18 08/10/04

http://www.imagedump.com/index.cgi?p..._id=0&warned=y

Just click on view anyway.

The text is in a txt file in the game folders

Jango Fett 00:04 09/10/04

lol anyone heard the song by gabber robots?

Medieval Assassin 00:10 09/10/04

I had a vice, I forgot what it exactly said, but it was funny, Im sure to see it again, it sounded alot like a certain form of love between two people that involves a mouth.
Im shogun for faction descriptions they had
"1337"
"h4x0r"
and so it... heh heh heh...

lolik4 04:06 09/10/04

speaking of funny messeges..
when i was starting a game as Julii i was checking of my popularity (in senate window) with the people. the messege went like this:

"when people speak of you or meet you on the street the second word is usually "off" "

i believe the word they spoke of me was "f...K off" what else could that attitude mean?

Medieval Assassin 16:08 09/10/04

Yeah I seen that, and laughed...same as people throwing stones at me...

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