I agree its too easy to get a general his command stars, even if they aren't as useful as in MTW. While not being useful the generals are alot rarer, so given the AIs poor use of them its easy for the player to get the advantage. What we really need back is titles to grant general/governorship. These would not be family members(though you could get the chance to adopt good ones). They would also have half the retinue capacity of normal generals/govenors. Doing this would give the AI an inexhuastible source of generals. It'd help the player too of course, but I think in the end the advantage would tilt towards the AI. It'd mean more AI generals with stars and more armies lead by generals/cities defended by them. It might be more trouble then its worth though.

As for the AI not attacking unless 1:1 I don't think that should be added. The only decent tactic the AI has strategically right now is a war of attrition. They gotta keep hitting your armies/weaking your forces. I've even sacrificed men/family members myself to do this. After losing Cirta I brought a merc army to assault the city, it was underpowered but allowed me to kill another 700 units, meaning next turn the city revolted back to my control.