I would like to find the man who made the phalanxes move to the right

**mandrake** · 10-08-2004, 23:12

Find him and plunge my fingers deep into his chest, like that crazy voodoo priest in The Temple of Doom, pull his heart out and eat it.

Yes, I'm gonna rant now.

WHY, for the love of all that does not suck, must my hoplites, after I've told them to STOP, to GUARD THIS POSITION, to FORM A PHALANX, in short, to F%#$@ STAY THERE AND POINT YOUR STICKS FOWARD, start to inch to the right as soon as the enemy hits them? Whoever DESIGNED this feature? Did a SINGLE F%@#$ person over there try to defend a city with this setup? I can't defend a single street! It's like they're MOCKING ME!

"Oh, de gate eez down, move over guyz, bedder let dem through!"/stupid accent
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"HALT-HALT-HALT-HALT-HALT-HALTHALTHALTHALTHALT"
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"Somebody hear someding?"
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"Nah just ignore hiARRRGHHHHH"
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I cant TAKE IT ANYMORE! Someone MOD THIS OUT! DISABLE IT! SEND IT TO THE DEEPEST DARKEST CIRCLE OF H3LL so I'll NEVER have to see it AGAIN!
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**DisruptorX** · 10-08-2004, 23:17

Man, the part about the accent just cracked me up. I can just hear the the "greek" hoplites saying that in their hybrid french/middle eastern accent.

**Doug-Thompson** · 10-08-2004, 23:17

I know this doesn't help, but ....

... it's a well documented historical fact that ancient soldiers in any kind of "shield wall" would wince and cower try to close in behind the other guy's shield when they faced the prospect of getting violently killed.

Their left side was covered by their own shield. Their right side, where the arm was holding the spear, was more exposed. Therefore ....

**Colovion** · 10-08-2004, 23:22

yep, it did happen - but I doubt it happened that much once battle was engaged - it probably mostly happened when marching in a "straight" line

**mandrake** · 10-08-2004, 23:30

That's true Doug, but all I'm saying is that they sure didn't go through a lot of trouble to keep us from remembering that we're playing a game over here. Didn't they see how this feature would just totally screw up siege battles?

They have the elephants bouncing people around like beach balls, guys humping 100 lbs of gear running faster than my mother drives, I mean couldn't they just oversee this eetsy-bitsy little detail about the shields?

They're so retarded that they can't turn when I tell them to anyway, I already got them running in circles when I tell them to go down a street, and now they can't even SIT and STAY? My COCKER SPANIEL can do that.

I mean, please, come on, CA guys, it's funny, ha-ha, I'm laughing see, now let's just take this stupid a#$ feature out and forget it never existed ok? Pretty please. With sugar on top.

**mandrake** · 10-08-2004, 23:33

Pretend. Pretend it never existed. It's just that my mind...I mean...I've been playing this one battle over and over. They just won't...stop...MOVING...*sobbing*

**Arakasi** · 10-08-2004, 23:42

There is historical evidence that in phalanx warfare that the two sides in the battle reversed positions on eachother over the course of the battle. Now the problem of course is that in a real battle the entire phalanx would be the line but in here it is a number of smaller units. So instead of two giant lines switching we have a number of smaller lines switching. But I think it is a nice nod to historical accuracy. It's weird. I've been reading both here and at the TW center and in both places you've got people saying the game is too historical (eg: the phalanx moving or the Spartans not having corinthian helms) and those saying the game is too RTS. I guess you can't please everyone. :)

**DisruptorX** · 10-08-2004, 23:48

If they wanted to make it historically accurate, they could start by not making chariots turn on a dime or better still, putting the marius reforms at the proper date.

The phalanx's moving is a game flaw. period.