The Shadow One, isn't it obvious that you are eminently qualified as a senior patron? Not only do you digress, troll and OT as if there were no tomorrow, you have even managed to draw the attention of the most brutal henchman scouring these boards, i.e. Pape the Terrible. I daresay you'll be a member soon!

Give my best regards to your parents and please advise them that in cases such as yours a parakeet can have surprising therapeutic results.