Nice discussion. Here are a few random observations that pertain to several points made here:
1. If you want to use a screening force to soften up or delay an enemy, for instance if you want to send some cavalry ahead to engage the enemy while you assemble your army (on the strategic map, I mean), then don't take your general--use a captain. As far as I know, the loss you will get won't give you any negative traits if there is no general in your army.
2. Withdrawing might sometimes be smart and even more damaging to the enemy than to you, but it can still be perceived as a loss by the troops. For instance, Robert E. Lee took a lot of flak for digging in and being defensive at the Battle of Vicksburg (in the American Civil War) even though it was smart. So at the Battle of Gettysburg, Lee rejected the wise advice of his general Longstreet, who advocated digging in and using the defensive terrain to his advantage. Instead, he decided that he didn't want to get pegged as a timid defender, so he attacked. We all know how that panned out. I know this isn't relevant to a lot of the situations in-game, but it does bolser the case for making a withdrawal equal a defeat.
3. Pushing an enemy back who chooses not to engage you can give you a command star, but not every time, and it seems to grow less likely as your general gets more powerful. I have found that it's not possible, or at least not easy, to abuse this mechanism.
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