Is love exclusive ?

[Shahed]

Question: Is YOUR love exclusive ?

Explanation:
Can you only love ONE man/woman, and once you do you cannot love anyone else.

OR

Is your love nonexclusive, you can love many women/men at the same time, equally.

Next question:
Of course there is also the general question about love: is IT (love) itself exclusive, that you cannot love another woman becuase you already love one. Your love for this person prevents you from loving anyone else equally ?

Just wanted to get a feel about what you think.
Cheers ! Thanks for your replies.

[King Edward]

It depends as there are different types of love, I love my girlfriend in a different way to I Love my family.

and also it depends on context, and its meaning to other people - The bible stated that you should love thy neighbour, and even if i did believe this i certanly wouldent love them like i love my girlfriend or family!!

I belieive you can only love 1 person as a partner as to love them means that you want to spend your life with them over anyone and that you miss them deepley when they are not around (trust me i know how this feels, my girlfriend has spent over 2 1/2 years of the 4 that we have been together abroad) and also that Love is more than just a sexual thing as you can be sexually attracted to some one you dont love, without compromising the way you feel for the person you do love.

[Ser Clegane]

I do not believe that love is exclusive.

It is absolutely possible for me to feel deep love for more than one woman

Of course it is a bit difficult to dedicate enough of your emotions and your time to more than one woman and live up to m ore than one love.

So while having these feelings is possible (and not unusual) IMO, however actually living these feelings will be very hard.

(that's kind of the short version answer)

[Hetman_Koronny]

I think there are different kinds of love (each love is different). I love my fiancee, mom, dad, and a few other people. I love beer too .

But the above is of course fooling around. Honestly, and now I answer your question, I couldn't love more than one woman equally. While I bet I could fall in 'love' easily but it would hurt my 'other' love. Not directly (but that too if she found out), yet indirectly - I could not love her in the same way.

True love is much more than desire, passion and attraction to the other person... It has to grow for a while and must undergo some testing in real, daily life... Yet, it is a different subject.

MY CONCLUSION
Maybe I am old fashioned but there can be only one exclusively in my heart :)

[Shahed]

Good posts.

Yes I did mean romatic love i.e falling in love.
God I will learn to be more clear when I express my thoughts.

Well for myself, I believe romantic love itself is non exclusive. However if one is romantically involved with one woman, and this romance is very strong, it may tend to hamper efforts to be in love with another. This depends on what intrinsic values the person possesses.

[Shahed]

Umm dont forget there is a poll on top ! :P

[JAG]

Definately not, but if pushed I am sure people are able to give a true account of who they love more, but that doesn't mean that the love for others isn't there.

[LittleGrizzly]

well romantic love i hope there can be more than 1 but i dont now for sure as ive only had 1

[Kraellin]

it's not that you love more than one; it's how you express that love that gets you in trouble ;)

i also find the term 'falling in love' a bit of a trap. i dont 'fall in love'. this sort of implies that i've become a victim or something, like i was just hit with this big hammer and poof, now i'm in love. this puts me at total effect of hoping to 'fall in love'. the best definition or explanation of what love is i ever heard of is that love is a combination of admiration and sympathy. thus, i love many women. and thus, i can actively and causitively admire and sympathize with someone and be in control of whom i love and not just wait around and sort of, maybe, mysteriously, 'fall in love'.

this also tends to explain why a lot of folks get tripped up when it comes to a beautiful woman or man. they 'love' beauty. they are in sympathy with beauty, admire it and thus think they are in love with the person themself. then, later on, they find out the being inside that beautiful body is a schlub... or worse. and that's where communication comes in. that's why it's important to get to know the being hanging out in that body. some folks that i really love are not what you'd call gorgeous beauties, body-wise, but the person inside just tickles me to death :)

K.

[A.Saturnus]

"Love is the joy two people have at each other" - Nietzsche

I don´t see anything necessarily exclusive in this definition, but it sets some restrictions.

[SwordsMaster]

That reminds me of the old navy toast:
"To our wives and mistresses......May they never meet."

beautiful woman or man. they 'love' beauty. they are in sympathy with beauty, admire it and thus think they are in love with the person themself. then, later on, they find out the being inside that beautiful body is a schlub... or worse

Thats isnt love, thats only sexual attraction. Watch Soly´s women thread for further explanation.

i also find the term 'falling in love' a bit of a trap. i dont 'fall in love'. this sort of implies that i've become a victim or something, like i was just hit with this big hammer and poof, now i'm in love. this puts me at total effect of hoping to 'fall in love'. the best definition or explanation of what love is i ever heard of is that love is a combination of admiration and sympathy. thus, i love many women. and thus, i can actively and causitively admire and sympathize with someone and be in control of whom i love and not just wait around and sort of, maybe, mysteriously, 'fall in love'.

Wow, m8, you surprise me. Good reflexion.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I depends on whether you value your testicles or not...

[Del Arroyo]

The distinction between "lust" and "love" is bullocks. It can IMO be argued that they are the same thing-- but at the very least, "lust" is a prerequisite and indispensable component of "love".

Case in point-- if you "love" someone, you only "lust" for them more. One feeds the other. All "love" is very sexual-- that's why (usually) we only feel the attraction towards members of the opposite SEX. It's ultimately all about reproduction.

..

But as far as I can break it down, attraction is based on two things-- first, the nature of their interaction with the world/evident qualities (are they successful, respected, confident; or a dolt? Clear skin or zits?); and secondarily the nature of their interaction with you (are they tolerable? Loyal? Useful?).

This applies not only to SEX but to all interpersonal interactions whether in friendship, business or whatever.

..

But is love exclusive? It depends. Strictly speaking-- no.

But if your current partner will not tolerate an other, their wish becomes a factor.

Loyalty doesn't require you feel no attraction towards others-- simply that you do not act on it (without notification and permission ).

DA

[bmolsson]

I love all womans. Some more than others. Sex ? Well, if they insist, "a man got do what a man got to do".......

[A.Saturnus]

Case in point-- if you "love" someone, you only "lust" for them more. One feeds the other. All "love" is very sexual-- that's why (usually) we only feel the attraction towards members of the opposite SEX. It's ultimately all about reproduction.

Sorry but that´s nonsense, or don´t you love your parents? LOve is not necessarily connected to reproduction. Of course lust and love can be connected, but they don´t need to be.

[bmolsson]

Well, sex is not necessarily connected to reproduction either..... :p

[Orda Khan]

Well Sinan, very thought provoking as usual....

My one true love, my wife of 22 years, I can honestly say that I could never imagine I could feel the way I do with another. I do not consider romance to be true love, romance is something different, call it natures pairing process. The love of ones family is closer to true love but as the saying goes
" You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family " We are a product of our parents and, for want of a better way to describe it, have no choice in the matter.
When, or rather if we find true love, it is that inexplicable feeling whereby, speaking for myself, we cease to function as a single unit.
I can say quite honestly, there is no one I would rather spend my time with than my wife, she makes me complete and I never tire of her company. With every passing year I watch her develop from that bright eyed, vibrant girl I first met to the confident, kind,sweet natured lady that she is now. If I could claim to be half the person she is I would be proud.
If this sounds all slushy and puke enducing I make no apologies

........Orda

[Del Arroyo]

If I was talking about brotherly love or familial love I would have mentioned them specifically...

[A.Saturnus]

If I was talking about brotherly love or familial love I would have mentioned them specifically...

Then your argument is circular.

The distinction between "lust" and "love" is bullocks. It can IMO be argued that they are the same thing-- but at the very least, "lust" is a prerequisite and indispensable component of "love".

If you seperate love to a partner from other forms, it´s no wonder that lust and love go together. I have a male friend I love just as I love a sexual partner minus the sexual attraction. Thus, love can apparently appear without lust. And that lust can appear without love doesn´t need to be argued, I think.

[Del Arroyo]

Well, Saturnus, in Greek they have three separate and very distinct words-- one for love between parent and child, one for brotherly love ("agape", the only one I can name), and one for the love between a man and a woman. If you give no credence to this distinction, then I´m not entirely sure what to say.

When you say that you love your woman for all the same reasons that you love your friend, the only difference being the addition of sexual attraction, my first instinct is to say that this is a delusion. But who knows? I don´t know you and have not met either of these important people in your life.

DA

[A.Saturnus]

When you say that you love your woman for all the same reasons that you love your friend, the only difference being the addition of sexual attraction, my first instinct is to say that this is a delusion. But who knows? I don´t know you and have not met either of these important people in your life.

lol, indeed you don´t know my life. Believe me, you wouldn´t think it´s a delusion if you would know the whole story.