The Second Dark Age

[Ludens]

I am usually a bit hesitant to comment on matters of language because English is not my native tongue, but I do have to ask: have you edited this story thoroughly? There are at least a couple of long sentences that look like several short ones pasted together and the introductory paragraph contains a line that is completely out of place. There are also a number of other style issues that seem rather 'unprofessional' from a good writer like you.

But, I like it. The way you avoid picking a main character is very good, though it may turn out to be a weakness unless you have got the plot worked out thoroughly. Keep posting, please .

[Monk]

I need to answer a few things before i continue...

@Kommodus: thank you, glad you like it.


@zelda12: sometimes a smiley face and a few words says all that needs to be said.


@Ludens:

I do have to ask: have you edited this story thoroughly?

the short answer, No. the last one was edited but not as much as i did with the last few. For that i apologize

the introductory paragraph contains a line that is completely out of place.

usually the only things that slip through are punctuation or spelling errors. The only one (in this last part, part XI) that seems to be anywhere near that is the third sentence, if that's the case then it's supposed to be there. That sentence informs you (or should have, my fault for not making this clear) that the voice from part VIII was tracked down and eliminated by his own government.

"Your savior" The strange voice laughed. The king was confused at the remark to say the least. "I have information you may find useful."

and after i gave a short description of the call cutting out and an explosion following...

Giving information to other nations was considered treason, even if that information would help them solve a problem that threatened the Imperium, it was a crime punishable by one way only; death.

If that was not it please tell me... And don't hesitate to point something out like this, more often than not you're right.

There are at least a couple of long sentences that look like several short ones pasted together. There are also a number of other style issues that seem rather 'unprofessional' from a good writer like you.

a slip of the pen (or should i say finger?). it can sometimes be easy to overlook commas and making sure the sentence is not to long when editing, at least for me it sometimes is. I did find what you meant, Thank you for pointing it out .

The way you avoid picking a main character is very good, though it may turn out to be a weakness unless you have got the plot worked out thoroughly.

Ah! i'm so glad i'm not the only one who thought that was a good thing . As i've said before, i am not the only one who created this storyline. it was done by two patrons on "Nationstates.net", the plot is already there, from start to finish it's developed. I intend to keep it that way and i won't change a thing about it, keeping to the rp that was done.

Thank you for taking the time to comment, i'll be more careful from now on. Really i promise!

[CrackedAxe]

Thanks monk, I enjoyed this and it kept me to interested to the end, which is an achievement in itself as I've such a lousy attention span! Keep up with the writing!

[zelda12]

:Jester:

Monk, did you deliberately put all your 'I's as 'i's.

[Shadow]

Very well written !!!

[frogbeastegg]

sometimes a smiley face and a few words says all that needs to be said.

Good, because that means I can get away with saying

[Ludens]

the introductory paragraph contains a line that is completely out of place.

The only one (in this last part, part XI) that seems to be anywhere near that is the third sentence, if that's the case then it's supposed to be there. That sentence informs you (or should have, my fault for not making this clear) that the voice from part VIII was tracked down and eliminated by his own government.

Yes, that was it. The problem is that those two scenes (the telephone call and the explosion) are not continuous: they are separated by the scene of the man escaping from the cryo pod (not to mention that they were posted three days apart).

There were also a few style issues I wanted to comment on. First, your use of extremely long sentences. Long sentences are part of your style, and I am not saying you should stop using them, but making the really long ones somewhat shorter will make the story easier to scan. It often looks like you are trying to make one sentence do the work of two.

Two other things:

The second laughed, “Are you suggesting that ten larval stage specimens took down the entire station?” he grinned at the very thought, it was ridiculous to him. “A station, mind you, that served as a military outpost!” he emphasized the word ‘military’ as it was true that nearly 70% of the former crew was combat personnel.

Both 'military' and the councilman's ridicule are stressed thrice! You are not developing a habit of over-explaining yourself, are you? This can be very hard to get rid of, as yours truly can attest .

Seriously, this about the only place where you overemphasize explanations, but it is rather obvious here.

“How have we Violated the treaty!” the first councilman nearly shouted, he made no attempt to hide his anger, trying to hide the fact they were right.

In the first place: this sentence is actually two sentences separated by a comma. This is grammatically wrong: if you have to put two independent sentences in one sentence, separate them with a semicolon. Secondly, for the entire scene we cannot read the thoughts of any character, except here, were you tell us one character is lying. It would have been better if you had used another way to make clear that they had broken the treaty. “Show, don’t tell”, as they say.


I hope you found this helpful and I eagerly await your next episode,
Ludens

[Monk]

part x
Bloody Twelve

In the middle of a vast and open plain, down upon the brown land next to a dried river a city was built in generations past. Constructed by the ancestors of the Solician people, it had been forgotten and left to the cruel keeper of time. Yet one hundred years ago, the city was found again. Its huge towers long since had fallen into decay and its streets were now broken. It was renamed “The Old City” simply because no one knew its true name, at least no one could remember. Being nothing but a heap of twisted stone and broken memories, it was unlikely that any sort of military force would ever try and seize it. However, the 5th Solace was organized and deployed there for no clear reason; and the troops were given no real answer as to why.

Indeed, even when four thousand men arrived they had no idea what they were doing. Their orders were simple, if not a bit vague; “Deploy defenses along south edge of city, man defenses and await orders.” Something wasn’t right; the Old City held no tactical advantage whatsoever, if so then it would not have been left alone for thousands of years. Yet here and now fully half of the most experienced fighting regiment in the Solician military was deployed; and with nothing to keep the troops company but the whispers of the wind. If the commanders of the unit could, they would surely have questioned their orders. Perhaps they should have, but the “soldier must do what he’s told” or so thought the colonel in charge of the force.

The Old City, remnants of the inner walls
1130 hours, First Encounter +2

The sun was almost in the center of the sky above, the deep blue still seemed to overpower and push all clouds from sight on this morning. Twelve noon was fast approaching as the soldiers of the 5th Solace dug defenses along what was now a ruin of a wall. They brought heavy equipment from the capitol city; Auto-turrets, anti vehicle and personnel mines and explosives which they deployed near and around their positions. Soon a long trench line formed with gun emplacements settled along the way. The troops continued to work, still unsure why they were there, when a sudden sound was heard. It was a piercing scream on the horizon, a sound that cut into their heads like a knife and scratched their minds. Hearing it was almost painful to them, but when the sound died away no sign was shown of what may have created it.

The colonel knew something was wrong as he emerged from a nearly broken stone tower. His eyes scanned the area about him, yet all he saw was his men stunned by the horrid sound. He stood as a harsh silence fell, the wind ceased to blow and all about the army seemed to die. The troops began to man their defensive positions as three scouts were sent to secure the areas on the horizon. Down away to the east there was a small farming village that had also fallen to ruin, after the layer of confusion had melted away the colonel thought he caught sight of movement there through his binoculars. Therefore the three scouts were dispatched. They hurried along on foot, moving fast away from the trench lines.
“Charge up the Auto Cannons!” the colonel shouted as he hopped into the trench, his men were rushing about getting into position. His shout was loud and seemed to call the attention of all near him. His men obeyed his order and finished the uplink on the cannons, as power flowed into the machines a humming noise drifted on the air. “Good.” The colonel sighed as he looked to the small village on the horizon. “We need to be ready.”

Time passed by, what seemed like hours was in fact minutes. The sun had just set into its highest point in the sky when a single man was seen stumbling toward the lines. His movement was erratic and one hand seemed to clutch his side, he wasn’t far off and some could tell his armor had been ripped apart. With each stumble a scarlet liquid fell from his body, until finally he fell to the ground motionless. He wasn’t but thirty feet from the lines when his strength failed him. An apothecary jumped from the lines and ran out to him, his white armor and the badge that he wore on his shoulder guard signified he was a man of medicine. However as the apothecary neared the fallen man a series of piercing screams was heard; his eyes darted to the horizon where a black image filled the land. The soldiers in the lines readied their weapons as it came near him.

It looked like a sheet of ice sliding upon the land; countless limbs of terrible design propelled a number of creatures too many to count. The eyes of the apothecary swelled as he saw them, rows of jagged teeth dripping with saliva as thousands of screams all sounded at once. He turned to flee, but as he did so they were upon him, the creatures rose from the ground to their full height and erupted in an attack. They changed from ice to a wall of claw, tooth and bone as they consumed the healer and tore him apart. With the apothecary dispatched the creatures screamed in delight and turned their black eyes to the prepared defenses, where in two trenches awaited the warriors of man. They sighted their prey, and went forth into an attack; the creatures moved with incredible speed as they charged the humans they hated with a passion.

The soldiers of the 5th solace were terrified, seeing their comrade ripped into pieces before their eyes caused them to tremble in place; to afraid to even fire their weapons. The creatures neared them and with a roar of thunder the auto-cannons opened fire, not needing permission from their creators to act. The bullets that fired from them sprayed into the line of advancing creatures and slowed them down, but didn’t stop them. They kept moving forward, despite the number in which their kind was slain. The thunderous fire of the auto-cannons broke the humans from their terror, and as they realized how close the creatures had gotten they began firing their weapons. An entire line of steel and cold death erupted from the trenches as the guns let lose into the black mass of creatures that raced forward. The creatures fell in massive numbers now, yet they did not stop. Their bodies piled up as little as ten feet from the human lines, they advanced and yet more died and fell upon the already fallen creatures.

They kept attacking with a furious tenacity, charging screaming loudly and brandishing their teeth and claws only to be mowed down by the humans. A wall of corpses was formed in front of the humans as they never stopped firing. Their fingers keeping the trigger pulled back until they had no ammo in their clips, at which point they reloaded and kept firing. The heat rising from their weapons and auto-cannons was unspeakable, almost making the trenches unbearable on a day as hot as it was. The screams of the dying creatures still ceased to stop as they pushed forward, death cries and final screams from inhuman things overshadowed the rumble of the guns of the Solician defenders. The bodies of the fallen creatures began to become an impediment to the ones that lived; and as they tried to climb over them they were killed, causing the bodies to pile yet higher. A small wall had formed ten feet from the human lines, a wall of twisted limbs and lifeless bodies when suddenly the creatures stopped advancing.

Silence overtook the land as the attacked ceased. The troops lowered their already overheating weapons, their ammo was low and they breathed a sigh of relief. However before the first “what was that about?” could even be uttered, another wave of creatures exploded over the wall of corpses and leapt upon the humans. They tore and ripped them into pieces without mercy. The auto-cannons had long since run out of munitions and offered little help as the creatures attacked the humans in close quarters, however the tired humans were not about to give up. They suffered terrible losses as they fought back, trying desperately to fend off the creatures. They might have done so if their enemy was not so numerous; another wave hit the trench and pushed the humans from their positions. Those who could not get out of the trench and fox holes were consumed by the creatures and cut up quickly.

The second line of trenches was ready; however it held fewer men and they could not hope to fend off the creatures’ assault. Still they clenched their weapons tightly and readied themselves for the creatures to organize for their attack. They were a hundred miles from nowhere; their transports were to far away and they’d never get to them. The creatures cried out and charged them, hoping to overwhelm them as well. The surviving troops let loose and opened fire, however their numbers were cut in half. Yet as the creatures neared the seconded line explosions burst from the ground, they had entered the minefield. The creatures seemed to ignore the fire erupting all around them and pressed forward, taking yet heavier losses. Soon their relentless tactics pushed them out of the minefield; in fact all the mines had exploded. They were about to jump upon the defenders of the ruins and slaughter them when blue projectiles strafed the ground, massacring their frontal “ranks”.

A huge vessel strode through the air above the creatures and countless guns began to open fire; repaying the toll of slaughter they had done to the humans a thousand times over. A door opened in the side of the mysterious ship and armored warriors starred out. They tossed bombs from the ship which landed in the mist of the creatures’ ranks and exploded killing yet more of them.

A loud and deafening scream, which silenced even the huge guns of the ship was heard. It died away slowly and quickly after the creatures began pulling back. However, as they did so twenty warriors appeared in their midst, they materialized out of the air with bands of blue energy moving over them. They wore no armor at all, only dressed in dark robes that covered them from head to toe, their faces covered by dark masks. Out from under their hoods a red light glowed from their eyes. They carried large swords that pulsed with energy. In their retreat, the creatures attacked them trying to get away, however the men brought their blades down on them, cutting their limbs and what seemed to be their heads from their bodies. They stood their ground as the ship above kept firing, killing any creature that dared go near them. However they were outnumbered hundreds to one and their force began to thin. If it was not for their retreat, the creatures would have soon overcame the small number of warriors who had teleported into their midst. Yet when all the creatures had finally forsaken the battle, a second wall of corpses had formed. In the center stood three figures, their dark robes torn and their masks ripped from their faces. They were the last guardians of Solicous, cyberneticaly and biologically enhanced warriors. The ship thundered off, making sure the creatures retreated.

Exhausted they fell to the ground breathing deeply the air which tasted like blood, the scent was so thick. The colonel of the surviving troops walked up to them, he grinned widely as he shouted “Good thing you boys showed up!”

The only one who could manage it looked up; his blazing red eyes pieced the colonel’s and stared into his mind. “You’ve lost three thousand men…” he said in a cold and nearly hate filled voice.

The colonel looked surprised, “I have? Well… whatever the number we did our job.” He couldn’t help but feel confusion as to why his men were dead, yet he shed no tears for them. Before he could ask exactly what had just happened, the guardian spoke interrupting his thoughts. However his words were not to him, but to his comrades

“Azreal…” he was exhausted as he pushed the words out forcefully, “are they falling back?” a man with blue eyes looked up, he replied in a quiet voice that was hardly above a whisper.

“Yes brother…” his voice was smoother than that of the red eyed guardian, and it seemed much softer. “But they only retreat to regroup.” slowly the three men were regaining their strength as their cybernetic and biological enhancements slowly returned their stamina.

“Then let’s go.” the first guardian said, all three slowly rose to their feet and put their swords at the ready. As they as surveyed the ground, strewn with the slain of both species; the guardian with red eyes stared upon the human dead. His brothers looked on the dead and felt sorrow and regret in their hearts that they had died, however he did not.

“…how is it” he said muttering to himself, “that I feel nothing?”

“Did you say something Uriel?” Azreal asked as he turned to his brother.

“No, nothing at all.” Uriel replied.



@CrackedAxe: thanks. i'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for taking time to read it.

@zelda12: did i put all my "I" as "i" on purpose? yes. why? Your guess is as good as mine . just something i do.

@Shadow: thank you, i'm glad you liked it.

@Froggy: (since you complement with smilies, i will thank you with smilies )

@Ludens: Looking back you're right. when i actually take time and look at that paragraph i can see i could have picked a better spot to say that, or maybe even have placed it into the previous part. anyway, thank you for pointing it out.

The other things you said i've worked on and i made an attempt at keeping sentence length down this time around. I hope i did a decent job at it.

Yes, i found what you said very useful. anything to help me improve.

[zelda12]

Brilliant, superb and really exciting.

[CrackedAxe]

Another gripping installment, thanks Monk. Your description was very atmospheric. The only thing I would have asked for would be some dialogue in the actual battle part of the story, to get us IN the trenches with the fighting men. The point of view was a little omnipresent for the most part (the same critiscism was given to the early paragraphs of my own story 'The Battle of Maldon' on another forum, read it on this forum to see what I mean) and I think that the description of the battle might have been even more immersive if told from the point of view of a particular soldier or soldiers. Apart from that minor gripe though, well done!

[Monk]

part xi
Lost Knowledge

Godsend, Imperium’s North Shore
1600 hours, First Encounter +4

A Scientist sat alone in the lab, the dark room about him was silent with only the hum of the computer in the corner to keep him company. Dim light shined forth from the monitor as white text appeared letter by letter. The man brought up his right hand and rubbed his weary eyes and sighed, they ached from looking upon the screen for so long. As the text finally stopped appearing he read over the file on which he had searched for. They were records of the treaty of Abbadon, an agreement signed by three nations that seemed so long ago in time. “Solicous” he spoke for the first time in hours, his voice barely above a whisper. He coughed suddenly as he grasped his throat, ‘so dry’ he thought to himself. His eyes scanned the darkness for his cup of water, and to his right the faint outline of it stood; quickly grabbing it he poured it down his throat. the rush of the cool liquid washed away the dry feeling and he smiled.

The Scientist sat down the now empty container and read the file on the treaty, his heart was starting to beat faster for some reason as he did so. Slowly he felt a strange anxiety rising, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself but to no avail. The words before him seemed meaningless and served to the Imperium’s great advantage; but why now after so long would he be ordered to review it?

“This is pointless.” he said aloud to himself in frustration, it must have been the fourth time in the last seven hours he had read over the document. Still the words were the same; nothing was different save maybe his attitude toward his assignment. It did not help matters that the only copies were made in the Solician Language; a clumsy and unpredictable language hardly fit of civilized people. He grinned to himself as he thought that. He leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling; the darkness around was like a shroud, he could barely see beyond the dim illumination that his monitor provided. As he took his eyes away from the screen his eyes slowly began to stop hurting, he closed them for a moment and was about to try to rest them when he heard the sound of footsteps.

His eyes suddenly sprung open as a set of footsteps echoed down the hall just outside his door. The scientist turned and looked at the door. His stomach was tying itself in knots nearly making him fall upon the floor. Slowly the foot falls got closer; each step echoing in the perfect silence until they were directly outside the doorway. Slowly the knob turned and the door then flew open quickly. The scientist was blinded by a sudden rush of light, as he tried to adjust his eyes the only thing he saw was a dark figure standing in the doorway. He did his best to conceal his fear, raising an arm to try to shield his eyes from the light attempting to see who stood before him.

“Have you found it?” the figure said, his voice was low and rigid. He stood perfectly still as he said those words, yet as he spoke one could not help but feel afraid for some reason. As if this one man had enough power to end your life. That is the exact way the scientist felt as he looked upon him. In an instant his covered fear came screaming to the surface, he could feel his gut wrenching about, making him sick to his stomach. He cleared his throat and managed to keep his voice from cracking.

“No…” he replied softly, his eyes were slowly adjusting to the light yet all he saw was still a dark figure.

The dark figure sighed slightly, however it was barely noticeable. “I don’t think you realize what’s at stake here” his frustration found its way into his voice, despite his control over his reactions.

“Of course!” the scientist said, slight desperation setting in. “Of course I do! I…I just need more time!” his thoughts were denying his words even as he tried to reassure this man he could complete the task he was given.

“The Berserkers Jarls no doubt already have the Information we need.” The figure clenched his fist showing his anger. “Must I remind you the penalty of failing the Emperor?”

“No!” the scientist shouted in pure fear, he knew he couldn’t find what they wanted him too. However to fail was to die. His hands began to tremble slightly as he rose to his feet, pushing back the chair against the desk, making a soft noise as it hit the two crashed together. “I’ll find it!” he was praying that his lie went unnoticed.

The figure thought for a moment, or at least appeared to think. He finally made a movement, yet to the scientist’s dismay his hand traveled to the gun that was strapped to his side. He removed it from the holster and stood with it drawn. “You had seven hours to accomplish the mission.”

“Please!” the scientists shouted, nearly begging as he spoke desperately. His heart was racing from his fear and the sickness he felt in his stomach turned into a slight pain. “I beg of you…I have served the Emperor countless times” He had jusr begged for his life, and he was hearing a voice screaming in his mind to run. His eyes scanned the room quickly; no way out. “…please more time!”

The figure raised the weapon to the scientist’s head, the scientist’s bottom lip was trembling as the shadowy figure spoke; “You have failed.” He slowly squeezed the trigger and the gun fired, the noise filled the room and silenced all about as the bullet exited the chamber. The scientist’s head was thrown back as the bullet hit, his blood splattered on the wall behind and his lifeless body fell to the ground; his eyes frozen open in pure horror. Blood began to flow from an exit wound on the back of his head. A spent bullet casing fell to the ground and bounced toward his body, it rolled on to its side and rested beside him.

The figure put his gun away and walked over to the monitor, he wiped the blood that had splashed onto the screen away and then looked at the words. He input a command and jumped to the third page of the document, where he saw words that translated to “Resolution of DEFENSE.” He read on to where the text displayed an agreement between the Imperium, The Kingdom of Solicous, and a third party called The Dominion of Berserker Jarls that stated “Technology will hereby be put forth and shared between all nations. As payment to The Imperium, the Nation of Solicous agrees to give 1/6 of unoccupied land to the Imperium and puts at their disposal the minds of their research teams.”

The figure opened a new file with the punch of a few buttons, he read over the first few lines and smiled, it was the information he needed. He read over the first line aloud to himself “The Imperium enacts power given to it by the Treaty of Abbadon and demands that the Kingdom of Solicous provide it with a new weapon, as payment for assistance in their Second Civil War.” He shook his head and laughed slightly. He was looking at the secret agreement between the two nations, forged shortly after the war.

“The fool” he said as he looked at the dead scientist. “He was interpreting their archaic language wrong.” He reached down to his side and flipped a switch on his personal communicator. As he did so a voice came over the channel. “Unit 2463, Report!”

“This is 2463” he replied, “mission complete.”

“You found it then?” the voice on the other end asked.

“Of course” he answered as he smiled to himself.

“Good job brother. Purge said item from system mainframe.” The channel was closed as the voice ended the transmission.

The dark figure leaned over the interface and punched in a series of commands; the screen suddenly flashed and went blank. After a few moments, the words “File deleted by order of the Emperor” appeared. Satisfied with his work the man turned and walked out, grabbing the door handle and closing it behind him. The dead body of the scientist was cloaked in darkness as the computer shut itself down, leaving a terrible silence behind.




-

what do you say when you forget to update something in 13 days? ...oops? seriously, sorry for taking so long in this one everybody. hope you enjoy this part at least a little bit

btw, i hope some of you are starting to figure out what is going on. if not, i screwed up

[zelda12]

I'm getting a vague inkling of whats happening. Something to do with experiments on test subjects by Solicious or something. Which, as will always happen in such circumstances, leads to some undefinable evil being created.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

I hope Monk didn't die at his computer. I want to hear the end of the story!

[Monk]

part xvii
Slow Genocide

City of Tartarus, Solicous
05:30 hours, first encounter +7

The night sky, normally a vast ocean of darkness looking down on the world was covered by a thick blanket of clouds. Thunder cracked above and rain burst forth, falling to the ground in a terrible storm. Lighting streaked across the sky as water covered the streets of Tartarus. Another cry of thunder sounded in the brooding morning sky; this time it was much louder. It shook the buildings of man to their very foundations, testing their strength before finally silencing itself. The people of the city, those who were not sleeping, fled for cover in the downpour. All accept those who had long since lost their way.

Corallis slumped down against the streetlight; its bright light warming his shoulders despite the freezing cold rain pouring down upon him at that exact moment. He closed his eyes and tried to forget what he saw; but the images had become imprinted into his skull. How a routine archeological study could go so wrong just didn’t seem possible. He closed his eyes even tighter trying to forget; however the more he did so the clearer the images became. The pain of lose cut through his heart like a knife; everyone he knew was gone now. ‘What were those things?’ he wondered to himself, even his mind was wrought with sorrow and confusion. Unfortunately no answer was given to him as a howling wind began to blow from the south; driving the wind down even harder than before.

Corallis opened his eyes slightly; small slits appeared in his eyelids allowing him to peek out unto an empty street filling with water. The grey buildings around him seemed hollow, only serving to throw his emotions screaming back into his mind as he searched for answers. Slowly he slide down the streetlight until he found himself sitting, his back still propped against the pole. Nothing made sense anymore; he let his shoulders slump and he closed his eyes tight once more. Finally admitting his spirit was broken Corallis gave up on everything all at once.

Yet even as he did so a sound came screaming into his mind, slicing through his confusion and his pain in an instant. The sound seemed to echo outside of the events of the world somehow; as if the thunderous storm above could not overshadow them no matter what it did. Closer and closer the sound got to him; and that’s when he realized it. It was nothing but footsteps! Footsteps were sounding clearly above the rain, the splashes of water and the thunder all at once. Corallis turned his head and focused upon where the sound was emitting from, and to his surprise he saw a lone figure. His vision was blurred from having his eyes closed so tightly, but he swore he could see that it walked at an angle. The figure was covered in some sort of shroud keeping his prying eyes at bay; for some reason it did not stand up straight. Moving slowly down the street it made no indication it even notice the broken shell of a man; or perhaps it did not care.

A strange curiosity filled Corallis as his vision cleared and he continued to examine this figure. He couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman, but it was very tall despite its bad posture. As the figure got closer he could hear a strange muttering of some sort. Words mingling together into incoherent gibberish seemed to settle on the winds about the figure; the mouth uttering such nonsense he couldn’t see. The more he observed the more Corallis felt a strange fear rising inside the pit of his stomach. The figure kept to the street and did not come near him; however as it reached a point directly across from him it stopped.

Corallis could not tear his eyes from it; whatever that thing was it was standing in the middle of the street muttering to itself. ‘What does he think he’s doing?’ He asked to himself, making the assumption it was a man. It was after all dangerous to stand in the middle of a street. ‘I should warn ‘im’ another thought crossed Corallis’ mind; yet when he opened his mouth to speak he found his voice was not with him. Nothing came out but a slight whisper as he tried to shout a warning. Quickly he cleared his throat; he could feel fear ruling his actions but for an unknown reason. Each time he tried to place the cause of this emotion he failed. His curiosity was buried by panic of sorts.

The figure suddenly turned and walked toward a bar across the street; the one Corallis himself had come out of not an hour ago. It took a step forward, and as its foot met the ground Corallis felt the sound echo into his mind. It was a strange sensation; one he did not fully understand. It was almost as if the sounds this creature made were amplified by a hundred fold when it willed it so. The rain began to ease up as the figure reached the door, it extended its hand and grab the knob and for the first time the broken man saw flesh upon this figure. Yet his hand was covered in gruesome scars, places where his flesh had been ripped clean and some sort of green substance had filled its place.
Corallis shifted his legs and placed his hands on the streetlight behind him, somehow he found the strength to lift himself up. It seemed he was not as broken in his spirit as he thought he was. A slight smile appeared over his face and he moved to walk away; yet as he did so the door to the bar slammed shut and the figure disappeared. As if he was chained to the ground he stopped in mid stride; slowly his head turned and his eyes settled on the bar door. He felt an urge to go there for some reason, yet not to drink as he had done so hours ago. Corallis felt a calling within his mind; stronger than he had ever felt in his life. As if a voice summoned him, at that moment all traces of his fear were stripped away and he took a step forward. ‘What am I doing?” he thought to himself. He couldn’t even answer his own question yet his legs did not stop moving. ‘This is insane, I need to get’ the word home never entered his mind, his thoughts quickly shifted to who that figure might have been. Corallis shook his head as he came to the door; it felt like he was losing control over himself. He tried to open his mouth but nothing happened. Slowly his hand moved to the door knob; he tried to jerk it away but still nothing happened. His hand grasped the knob and slowly it turned; Corallis’ right foot moved itself inward, and before he could struggle more the door shut behind him.

The figure was sitting at the edge of the bar; not many people where here at this time of day but there were a few. Most of the rough looking sort, the kind Corallis tried to avoid. The bartender served the figure a drink and then quickly stepped away, as if he wanted nothing to do with him. Corallis tried to leave but his body was still not reacting to his wishes; now not even his mind worked correctly. As he tried to scream out a strange and alien voice came into his thoughts. “Be silent!” it barked; a voice so horrible and ravaged by hate that it was hard not to be fearful at that very moment. Corallis did as instructed by the strange voice and stood at the door without another struggle.

Two drunken soldiers in the corner had been looking at the shroud of a figure sense the moment he walked through the door. Mocking whatever it was and having their fun at its expense. Eventually though they found some reason that their drunken minds considered an insult. That guy was sitting in their favorite chair at the bar; he didn’t even ask their permission! They talked about that subject, and the more they did so the angrier they became. Eventually they had had enough and rose up from their seats. Their minds overcome with alcohol and anger at no one thing in particular led them to the figure. The walked up to him; one of the soldiers tapped him on the shoulder but the figure gave no response.

“Heyy,” one slurred a word out, barely able to keep his own footing. “yous in my seat!” Again the figure gave no indication that he even acknowledged their presence.

“Yo!” the other shouted, his vision ‘blinded’ just as much as his friend’s “we’re talkin’ to you!” However this time the figure did respond he set down his drink and lifted his head slightly; the soldiers were expecting him to get up and fight but instead he remained sitting. He only uttered one word, and it was so silent they could barely hear it.

“Why?” he spoke softly, they could not even hear his tone of voice. If they had they would have surely ran in terror. Yet they laughed instead. Their laughter was silented soon enough as he spoke again. This time though his voice spoke not to their ears but to their minds. “Why is it you insult the bringer of your destruction?” The drunken men were confused by the statements made by this figure, and why his voice seemed so clear. They had no idea that he had not spoken at all; instead using his mind to speak directly to theirs.

“Y’know” the first spoke, “you don’t make much sense” he took a step back as the figure rose and discarded the hood he had worn. He turned slowly and looked upon them, his eyes were red and furious and his flesh looked like it had been ripped from his body and a newer, brownish color of a hide was growing in its place. Even their drunken state did not protect them from disgust, and they nearly threw up at the very sight of him. His eyes looked deep into their minds, throwing his own mix of sorrow hate and insanity into them as he wished.

“Very well” a sick smile appeared on his face as his voice appeared for what it was; full of hate and unlike any human sound ever uttered. “You shall be first!” The soldiers upon hearing his horrible voice could not help but cover their ears. In the blink of an eye he drew a weapon from his clothes and shoved it in one of the soldier’s faces. It was a pistol, the same kind the guardians used.

Terror overtook the drunken man as he stumbled back and tried to get out of the way; yet even as he did so the figure pulled the trigger and the hammer fell. His arm kicked back as a bullet traveled down the gun’s chamber and exited quickly; it hurled into the forehead of the soldier. The bullet punched a hole through his skull and traveled through the back of his head, throwing it back as a trail of blood left an exit wound. The surviving soldier fell back to the ground as he looked upon his dead friend, his eyes wide with terror and his bottom lip trembling. The man turned his attention to him and pointed his gun directly to his chest, and just as before fired without hesitation. A bullet flew from the pistol and ripped the soldier’s flesh, cutting through a rib before lodging into his heart. The soldier cried out in pain for an instant before his body went limp and he fell back unto the ground.

The figure grinned as he surveyed his work. He knelt down and placed a hand upon the wound in the second soldier’s chest; he wiped the blood from it onto his hand and brought it to his face. He put one finger into his mouth and cleaned the blood off, tasting the bounty of his kill. He then stood and let out a piercing scream that was more inhuman than anything he had done thus far. Those who had no fled in terror did so now, running from this man whoever he may be. Corallis just stood at the door; for some reason his body was still frozen. Now his fear had returned ten fold, his heart felt as if someone had stabbed him and let out all his blood.

The figure looked at Corallis and smiled. “Another tainted one” his voice seemed to sound strangely familiar to him. Yet before he could question that pain filled his entire body; he grabbed his chest and fell to one knee. Something was moving inside him, it felt as if he was changing. Pain like that he had never known before surged through his veins as he felt thousands of cracks form all at once in his bones. Only now had he regained control of his body, much too late.

The figure took a few steps over to him and looked around. “This city shall make a wonderful Hive” he laughed. His laugh was sickening to behold, but Corallis did not even take notice. He screamed out in pain, only to find his voice was so shrill it echoed nothing of what it used to be. The figure spoke again; but this time Corallis heard him, though he no longer cared. His mind was warping along with everything else about him. “These humans,” he said in utter disgust, “shall know the name Uriel…and they shall fear it!” He then threw his head back and screamed out again.

As his scream echoed into the darkness of the morning, the horizon was overtaken by a black object. Gliding at an ungodly speed it was heading for the city…


_________

no i'm not dead...yet. I've editted this but it's quite possible i missed a few things. If so i'm sure i'll spot them when i go over this again and i'll fix them soon enough

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

You had me worried, you hadn't posted in so long...

I like it. When you finish, you should compile it all into one post. Unless that is too long for some kind of posting limit.

[master of the puppets]

holy crap you guys write alot