imagine this

[A.Saturnus]

Resistance to chocolate is futile.

I am THE cookie monster. I challenge anyone on this board to devour more chocolate cookies than me. I shall destroy all opponents!

And this ain't hippopotamus. I mean, hypothetical.

A world without chocolate...

If it´s corrected for weight, I might take the challenge.

[Beirut]

Challenge?

ME?!?

"Stand ready Lord Saturnus! I await you on a field of your chosing."

Thou mayest be Lord Moderator, but the Champion of Chocolate t'is I and I alone.

With oatmeal chocolate chip will I smite thee. With pecan and dark chocolate shall I destroy thee. Even in the face of raisins with my chocolate shall I cast you assunder into the fiery depths of Vanilla Valhalla, the paradise of fools.


For though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death by chocolate, I shall fear no cookie. For hunger is mine and the greatest hunger mine alone.

[Gregoshi]

Mere mortals.


I grew up in Hershey, Pennsylvania. From the age of 6 thru 26, the smell of warm chocolate from the chocolate factory caresses my nostrils...this mingled with the smell of Reeses peanut butter cups from the factory at the other end of town. In elementary school I taste tested chocolate for Hershey. As a child, doctors told me I was allergic to chocolate but I overcame and proved them wrong. I lived on Chocolate Avenue amidst street lights shaped like wrapped and unwrapped Hershey Kisses. I used to swim in a pool on Cocoa Avenue.

I was a citizen of Chocolate Heaven. I return there frequently to rejuvenate my chocolate soul. I have no hunger for chocolate because I am it and it is me.

Uh...Beruit, why are you looking at me like that?! What is that glass of milk for and why are you licking your lips? Beruit! Get back! I'm outta here!

[Beirut]

My Lord Gregoshi, I do bend my knee and lower my brow in respect to you and you fathers of such a great land. For to reside in chocolate is to reside in the arms of God and receive His blessings.

But respect, my Lord, does not equate to subserviance. Though I respect your countenance, I do claim unto myself the throne of Cookie Monster and will not meakly walk away from it. Be it you or any man, I swear to do cookie battle, wage cookie war, and face all cookie opponents regardless of the threat to my person and cholesterol.

Dark, semi-sweet, milk, with nuts and seeds, I claim all types as my own. I AM the King of Cookies and swear destruction to any man who stands in my sugar-coated path. Chocolate chips will tremble, oatmeal will quake, mountains of cocoa will fall.

What say you! Will you yield, or in defence, be thus destroyed?

[Gregoshi]

Someone has a (chocolate) chip on their shoulder.


Beruit, you misunderstand chocolate, much like the ancient indian kings of the Americas. Chocolate is not only for kings and royalty. Chocolate is happiness and love taken form. We give it to the ones we love as a show of affection. It builds trust, chases away fear and fosters friendship. Many a US soldier in WW2 learned that perhaps the most powerful tool they had was the Hershey bar in their rations. Chocolate is to be shared, not owned or horded. To quote the old Hershey jingle:

There's nothing like the face of a kid eating a Hershey bar.
There's nothing like it you'll ever see,
A face as happy as it can be.
There's nothing like the face of a kid
When he's munching on the greatest taste around.
Hershey's, the great American chocolate bar.


This applies to Mars, Nestles and the thousands of other chocolates around the world too (though I obviously have a Hershey bias). Chocolate is too wonderful a thing for any to claim kingship over it.

However, cookies is another matter all together...

Now if I could only get that jingle out of my head!


This thread seems to have drifted off topic. Sorry "bar"...no pun intended.

[barocca]

Now if I could only get that jingle out of my head!


This thread seems to have drifted off topic. Sorry "bar"...no pun intended.

well this is the off topic thread,
just send me another hershey bar in the next relief parcel - lol
yours is growing nicely, all the wonderfull stuff i have got over the years (and carefully stashed away) that i am rediscovering while i repack and move house...

(and i got that jingle out of my head)
cheers,
B.