Some English practice

[Mouzafphaerre]

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1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he got the lead out.
6. The soldiers decided to desert their dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught her sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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[InsaneApache]

hehe.....well any nation that 'spawned' the U.S.A has to be barmy for starters.....

nice one Mouzafphaerre .....and then u wanna hear the dialects and accents in the north, in particular scouse and geordie. Even I have said.... eh?.... ya wot? from time to time....notwithstanding standard English.

[Mouzafphaerre]

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I've heard of the infamy of Geordie.
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[BDC]

Don't go to Glasgow if English is your second language. Or first. Hehe.

[Big_John]

allow me to clear up the first few of these for the confused among you:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
   A sterile dressing was applied unto the injury (so as to prevent future contamination) in such a manner as to require that a winding motion was used to subjoin the aforementioned dressing with the aforementioned injury.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
   A demesne was used to grow a harvest for harvesting.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
   The ground upon which a rubbish pile was located became so overly surfeited with sundry discarded nuisances that the operations manager of the pile was, in effect, forced to disaccord any further oddments of his serviced area.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
   Our bureau from Łódź is both desiccant and decrepit. Would that we should apply an emending finish to inaugurate a new lambency!
5. He could lead if he got the lead out.
   This man would surpass all disputants were he only able to disencumber hisself from the proverbial 'plumbum' of phlegmy.
6. The soldiers decided to desert their dessert in the desert.
   Those dogfaced musketeers! They've but abandoned their cloying indulgences, leaving the nectareous morsels to the most barren of wilds, where the calescent consorts with the friable, and humidity holds no dominion.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
   In it's infinitude of turning, the great wheel of time shall fall not once upon the selfsame thoroughfares of it's eternal course. Knowing this, knowing that the immediate is upon him, that the past is always lost, the future is never here, and the "now" is infinite, he resolved to bequeath his benefaction forthwith.
8. A bass was painted on the bass drum.
   The artistic likeness of an unspecified member of the genus Micropterus was committed, in pigments, to the low-frequency percussive.

i leave the rest to others.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Uhhhh he is helping teach people english.......and he turns out to be very cruel by inflicting these travesties of language upon them. I pity them, no person should ever have to endure such pain and suffering at the hands of the worst language I have ever learned. I know english and some spanish with the occasional random word from any language used in Europe, panzer, and some others that are not coming to me. Suprisingly they are not all about war!

[Mouzafphaerre]

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The contents of the original message are reposted from a private newsgroup.
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[Boohugh]

22. The King fell off his horse when he let go of the rein due to the rain, leading to the end of his reign.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

It all makes sense now, I didn't think yuo were that cruel...

[Frederick]

22. The King fell of his horse when he let go of the rein due to the rain, leading to the end of his reign.

'OF' 'OF'

Surely you mean off

[Quietus]

1) Speak English.
2) Write in English.
3) Read English.
This is the easiest way to learn.

[IrishMike]

Yes for the love of god don't teach em to read it first. A good tip I can give you is follow the total imersion policy. Discourage the speaking of their native language. Try to keep the whole class in English, when talking to each other, unless you are explaining something or teaching. That way it forces the students to give up that safety net of their native language. This way they will become more comfortable speaking it in class, and the threat of being embarrased about not knowing the words will insure they study.

[Mouzafphaerre]

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Ahem... This is not the teaching English thread. It's the English jokes one.
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[Uesugi Kenshin]

Confusion reigned and God said, it is good!

[Big_John]

god talks to you? that's crazy.. can you ask him who's going to win the superbowl, i could make a cool $10!

[KukriKhan]

Juan won the one Yuan bet.

Two girls were too late to go to Boston.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Yes the Freaking V-kings!

(Vikings)


They were not beaten out of the playoffs I swear....

[Quietus]

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Ahem... This is not the teaching English thread. It's the English jokes one.
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Excuse me, the title miscues me

[Louis VI the Fat]

The horse raced past the barn fell.

Took me years to figure that one out.

[theKyl]

It isn't in the tin. If you pronounce that line in a Yorkshire accent it'd be:

't i'n't in t' tin = tintintin

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Gotta love crazy accents.... Especially when they have been out drinking all night....

Good Times!