Star Fox: Assault - a review
Let me start off with a disclaimer: I am a Star Fox 64 purist. I can quote, chapter and verse, about half of 64's corny dialogue. It was and still remains my favorite N64 game and is definitely the best ever. Remember how the old guard (like me) grumbled about Rome's general new-fangled-ness? I'm like that about Star Fox.
Star Fox, we need your help!
For all of those who haven't heard/played the N64 Star Fox game, let me give you the basic story. A group of mercenaries, called Team Star Fox, is the good guys. Led by Fox McCloud, they battle evil mostly because they are good, but also because they need to eat, too. So there's this solar system, Lylat, with the good people of Corneria who are attacked by Andross and his hordes of robots and monkeys. Fox & co go and kick Andross's @$$. The team also has run-ins with a rival group, Star Wolf, led by Wolf O'Donnel. They are mercenaries working for Andross. The fight, and corny dialogue ensues.
Can't let you do that, Star Fox!
Star Fox: Adventures was the game after N64. It was an RPG with little or no flying. It automatically was crap. I didn't even buy it. It is heresy.
How about this!
OK, so Star Fox: Assualt is the latest in the series. It's a lot closer to the N64 in some ways. But not enough. Now there are new-fangled on-foot missions. Which are crap. And long. And uneventful. And still crap. There's not enough flying missions. And corny dialogue. It was too serious, while the N64 was a little spoofy. Assault is also too short, with just 10 campaign missions.
Location confirmed. Sending supplies.
The grading:
Graphics/presentation: 10/10
This game is beautiful. No significant drops in frame rates and everything, especially the Arwing fighters, is gorgeous. I really can't say much more on that. The user interface is acceptable, and thus doesn't take away points for being clunky.
Gameplay: 6/10
The flying missions are classic Star Fox - button-mashing glory. But that's probably 40% of the game. The rest is on foot or in the Landmaster tank. Both are somewhat awkward to control, and just aren't fun. They are also newish. Heresy.
Story/Corny-ness: 5/10
There is a lot less story, and it just doesn't seem like the campy fun of Star Fox 64. That is the most disappointing aspect for me. It is also way too short.
Multiplayer: 4/10
Seems kind of shallow, but I haven't played it much and that's not the point of a good Star Fox game. Though it is a good place to showcase beautiful graphics.
Music/Sound 7/10
The sound is fine, except for one or two moments when I couldn't hear dialogue. That might just be a glitch or something. The music goes back mostly to the original Star Fox, but, like the rest of the game, doesn't feel right. They took the original music and modified it somewhat. Hhmmm. And analogy...
It's time for us to go now.
By itself, not looking back at Star Fox 64, I'd give Star Fox: Assault about a 7.5/10
But in the context of Star Fox 64 being the best console game ever and this was supposed to be just as good and I'm really disappointed: 4/10
I'm still searching for the true heir to the greatness that was Star Fox 64.
Note:
If you've ever played SF64 as fanatically as I did, you'd get the funky titles. Then you'll laugh, or maybe cry. Or remark about how nerdy I am. But I can accept that.
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