The Battle For Rotterdam

[Quietus]

I agree with Master of the puppets. You need to stretch it out a bit.

Some suggestions:

• Break down the larger paragraphs.
• Check the spellings.
• Use appropriate quotation marks, period and comma.

I liked this part:

He smiled and said: "How more soules how more Joy. I immediatly felt comfortable in his presence.

But you need to clean it up just a bit.

He smiled and said: "How more souls, how more Joy". Immediately felt comfortable in his presence.

Now go back and rewrite the story again and use "save as" in your Word file. Compare. And you will see the difference just by looking at it.

I like short stories. Personally, the actual story is the bonus. What's really interesting to me is the combination and arrangement of words. That's the stimulating part - the articulation.

[The Stranger]

thanx

[master of the puppets]

my pleasure