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Thread: who can give me tips for my war story

  1. #1

    Default who can give me tips for my war story

    who can give me tips for my war story about julius ceaser
    war is my life

  2. #2

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    ummm u could try reading some asterix comics
    TIME IS A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD...

    Abuse it, and it will work against you...
    Use it wisely, and you will be eternally
    and everlastingly rewarded and blessed

  3. #3

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    read books about caesar.. fiction or non-fciton, both should give some inspiration!

    good luck with your story.. i can't wait to read it

  4. #4
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    10,415

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    Hello, king michael, welcome to the Org

    We have a story-telling forum, called the Mead Hall
    https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=37

    Reading our members' work might give you just the inspiration you desire. That forum would also be a good place to publish your work, when it is finished. We look forward to your story. Good luck!
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  5. #5

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    the roman war
    chapter 1 childhood for julius
    Julius's life was a terrible life his dad was in war all the time and his mother was arrested for assault to there neibhours so that left juluis on the street by himself.when his mother got out of jail she went to go find julius.She looked were he usally was but he was not there so she asked a lady did she see here son.The lady said there playing chasing around the palace.Julius's mom was in shock she tought here son had been kidnapped.She went to the temple and looked for here som when she looked inside here son and his freind were talking to the king.then his mother heared the king said you are my hire.So she went home to see here husband was home she huged him as julius came in.Julius told them the news they were so excited that they had a party that night.the next day the king had a heartattack.Julius was sent a message to go to the temple.he and his mom went well his dad went to the barracks to make a party for his son.When Julius was told that the king was dead and cause he was hire to the throne he had to be king.later that day julius was in his room crying he missed the king but later he was happy cause he got a party.He even went to the kings cremation.When julius took commmand he put taxes lower and made more houses he let children in his palace but he got strict when he turned 15.He built arrow range's and stable's he got every stable man in rome.Julius stilled prayed to king theoden at night.Now he started to attack diffrent places like athens and sparta.julius was now called king julius ceaser.every body hated ceaser even his family.julius kept a diary in his palace.This is what he wrote in it 12/4/602 dear diary I miss my family they have been kidnapped from there house and my dad was killed.tomorrow we are going to war ageinst the spartens.till tomortrow,.the king told his genral to get his army ready were going to war with the spartens.The genral formed a legion of men thats my so far
    war is my life

  6. #6

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan
    Hello, king michael, welcome to the Org

    We have a story-telling forum, called the Mead Hall
    https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=37

    Reading our members' work might give you just the inspiration you desire. That forum would also be a good place to publish your work, when it is finished. We look forward to your story. Good luck!




    hi back tu ya
    war is my life

  7. #7

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    hi, thats a cool story.. you could post it in the mead hall and other members would be happy to give you tips on how to improve/continue your story..
    but so far its quite good.

  8. #8
    Chief Sniffer Senior Member ichi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    3,132

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    michael try breaking up the words and sentences a little bit. When all the words are in one big block not only is it harder to read, it's easy to lose your place, and some people actually get scared off and won't read it.

    It's easier for others to read when there are small breaks, and it allows you to emphasize certain parts.

    It's easier on the eyes.

    You're off to a good start.

    ichi
    Stay Calm, Be Alert, Think Clearly, Act Decisively

    CoH

  9. #9

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    Or use more punctuation to break your sentences up e.g. commas and semi-colons etc.
    Good Luck!

  10. #10

    Default Re: who can give me tips for my war story

    thanks for the advice
    war is my life

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