Hmm... that's kind of a part of the problem. It's like I try to avoid doing things that strain me somehow. Like even something as simple as doing a meeting with someone I don't particularly care for. Or going somewhere where it's going to be awkward. Or just doing my homework, it seems like there's nothing in the world that can get me down to doing it. It's that fear of strain. Maybe I'm just spoiled, my parent's always let do whatever I wanted and now I'm paying for it.