Dating ettiquett in Canada

**Navaros** · 04-04-2005, 16:09

i'd never pay for a girl if it was a first date or if i barely knew her

paying in that case could end up with you flushing that money down the toilet

better to let pay for herself. and if she wants to pay for you also, then let her. most girls won't offer that though, so chances are you have to pay for yourself. that's acceptable

if on the other hand, she is a girl who you have a long-term relationship and/or are "getting some" from - in that case it may be worthwhile to pay for her occassionally

in short: if you don't know her, don't pay for her. but if you are getting some benefits from knowing her, then give it some thought.

**Cygnus X-1** · 04-04-2005, 16:56

Originally Posted by Navaros

i'd never pay for a girl if it was a first date or if i barely knew her

paying in that case could end up with you flushing that money down the toilet

better to let pay for herself. and if she wants to pay for you also, then let her. most girls won't offer that though, so chances are you have to pay for yourself. that's acceptable

if on the other hand, she is a girl who you have a long-term relationship and/or are "getting some" from - in that case it may be worthwhile to pay for her occassionally

in short: if you don't know her, don't pay for her. but if you are getting some benefits from knowing her, then give it some thought.

Hahahah, wow, that's a...er... different attitude.

I mean, in theory it make's a lot of sense. But if the girl likes the fact you pay for her *points to Frog*, isn't it possible that the act of paying for her could result in you 'getting some'?

**ah_dut** · 04-04-2005, 17:52

Originally Posted by Cygnus X-1

I mean, in theory it make's a lot of sense. But if the girl likes the fact you pay for her *points to Frog*, isn't it possible that the act of paying for her could result in you 'getting some'?

I shall allow you to know that Nav is a christian fundamentalist...therefore I wouldn't be worried about the 'getting some' unless it's his wife

**Cygnus X-1** · 04-04-2005, 18:02

Originally Posted by ah_dut

I shall allow you to know that Nav is a christian fundamentalist...therefore I wouldn't be worried about the 'getting some' unless it's his wife

Hmm...ok... *thinks* *rewords question*

Isn't it possible that paying for her could ultimately result in her getting closer to you, and potentially falling in love and marrying you?

**Spino** · 04-04-2005, 18:40

Generally if I ask the girl out I foot the bill for the date, even if she offers to pay for all or some of it.

About the only time I'll let the woman pay or split the bill is if she asked me out on the date or she's a terrible date and I cannot bear the thought of rewarding her behavior with a free meal.

I had an absolutely awful date with a girl this past summer. She was attractive and intelligent but the entire time she either talked about herself or readily offered unsolicited opinions about my life and what I should do with it. She also had way too much attitude, something I only discovered while on the date. I found her attitude especially amusing considering she was thirty-something and her best years were behind her. At the end of the meal I was so disgusted with her dating etiquette (or lack thereof) I suggested we split the bill, I figured one faux pas deserves another. If it was any worse I would have got up and left and thrown some money on the table to cover my half of the bill. Truth be told despite her poor manners and bad form a part of me wanted to go through the motions just to get some tail out of the deal (she was attractive). Given that I worked in relatively close proximity to her I didn't want to run the risk of getting labeled by the estrogen grapevine.

**Byzantine Prince** · 04-04-2005, 19:03

Originally Posted by Navaros

i'd never pay for a girl if it was a first date or if i barely knew her

paying in that case could end up with you flushing that money down the toilet

better to let pay for herself. and if she wants to pay for you also, then let her. most girls won't offer that though, so chances are you have to pay for yourself. that's acceptable

if on the other hand, she is a girl who you have a long-term relationship and/or are "getting some" from - in that case it may be worthwhile to pay for her occassionally

in short: if you don't know her, don't pay for her. but if you are getting some benefits from knowing her, then give it some thought.

9 CND dollars are not a lot guy. I can afford to pay that for once. I spend that much on cigarettes anyways.

**Navaros** · 04-04-2005, 21:23

Originally Posted by Byzantine Prince

9 CND dollars are not a lot guy. I can afford to pay that for once. I spend that much on cigarettes anyways.

it's not about being able to afford to or not

it's about the principle of knowing you may have wasted that money and feel really really stupid afterwards if you never talk to her again after your first date because she doesn't like you

let's be honest here...paying for a girl or not on the first date is not going to determine whether she continues to see you or not.

the main factor will be your looks.

the other factors will be how you talk to her etc.

it won't be a good feeling to know you wasted 9 dollars of your money on a girl who doesn't even like you. in the unfortunate event that she ends up not liking you after your date. it's not the dollar amount that will bug you. it's the principle of wasting your good money on a lost cause. well at least that's how i'd feel if that happened to me.

**Kaiser of Arabia** · 04-04-2005, 21:28

Originally Posted by Byzantine Prince

9 CND dollars are not a lot guy. I can afford to pay that for once. I spend that much on cigarettes anyways.

SMOKER!

**Somebody Else** · 04-05-2005, 00:48

I always pay, always. Even if I have to argue about it. Any time I feel I'm hosting - taking a girl out, taking friends out in my home town, whatever. Sometimes they get in and pay the bill before me, when I go to the loo or something - that vexes me.

*edit* I have never had an instance where, despite heavy protestation from the girl, I payed - and wound up being anything but liked for it.

**Hurin_Rules** · 04-05-2005, 04:02

I'd have to reiterate what Froggy and others are saying:

Always offer to pay (if not, many women will think you're cheap), but don't insist too hard if she seems to be offended (if not, some women will think you're a chauvinist pig).

I use something like, "That was really great/fun; let me get the cheque."

This lets her know you're willing to pay but not expecting anything from it (even if you really are).

You can also just go for the cheque without saying anything; if she wants to insist on paying, she'll let you know.

Is it fair to have to offer to pay for it all? Not really; women should be paying the same as men. But if you want to get anywhere, you usually have to be a man and suck it up.