for a few seconds there i had no clue what was happening to tell you the truth, but a quick reread showed that it was a german. mabey you can make it a bit clearer by adding something like "in the dark of the bunker i looked down upon them" or mabey you wanted it to be abstract in that esteem. i dunno your writing the story, i attempted (and failed miserably) at writing a story that jumped once. started with a roman legionair on the battlefeild, he is fighting and is killed by a swordstroke, not missing a beat the story instantly went to that killer who fights for a while and is killed by several arrows, in an instant it is in the eyes of one of those archers, suddenly barbarian cavalry are rushing at the archers, death imminent, before he dies it switches to the lead cavalryman who sees the archers and speeds full charge, they are intercepted by legionairs who hit them in the flank the cavalry are killed, arrows suddenly rain down upon the legionairs,they form testudo, the view switches to those barbarian archers who are struck by cavalry, the cavalry man looks around and declares victory. in the end it gave the impression of utter chaos, mabey you dso it better.