Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 115

Thread: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

  1. #1
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Couldnīt find my first post on this topic so here we go with part II:

    "Bah! The enemy has brought more weaklings!" (enemy reinforcements arriving)
    "Our warriors has taken the walls. Now, the streets will run red with blood"
    "This is no battle, itīs a chase. No, itīs a cowards-chase"
    "Tonight we feast, tonight we bathe in ale but first we shall bathe in the blood of our enemies"
    "Do you smell that? Thatīs the smell of weaklings! Shall we shoe them what swords can do to their skulls?" (laughed my ass off when I heard this one first)

  2. #2
    Member Member Tora's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Shropshire,UK
    Posts
    186

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    A line in one of the Greek pre battle speeches seemed naggingly familiar, "Something appealing, something appalling, something for everyone...".

    It turns out to be from "Comedy Tonight" from the musical - appropriately - "Something Happened on the Way to the Forum"
    "St Juniper once said, 'By his loins shall ye know him and by the length of his rod shall he be measured.' The length of my rod is a mystery to all but the Queen, and a thousand Turkish whores, but the
    fruits of my loins are here for all to see. I have two sons, Henry and.... another one.
    Step forward, Harry, Prince of Wales."

    ( King Richard in Blackadder)

  3. #3
    General of the Empire Member Aegisthis The Infantryman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    In the land of Selucia... or just my house.
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    It's very funny when a Carthaginian General says:

    "They smell worse than any camel!!! Do you know what that is? That's you're enemy!"

    In my opinian this one sounds... canabalized:

    "The enemy general runs like a frightened goat! Chase him, goats make good eating!"
    Aegisthis
    Men Can die, Gods cannot.

  4. #4
    Ultimate Member tibilicus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    2,663

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    I have personly allways liked the Germanic one:
    And remeber gut your enemy like a fish !!!!!!!!


    "A lamb goes to the slaughter but a man, he knows when to walk away."

  5. #5

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    The "Gut your enemy like a fish" is for all barb factions. I first heard it when playing as Spain.

  6. #6
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by Craterus
    The "Gut your enemy like a fish" is for all barb factions. I first heard it when playing as Spain.
    Hereīīs one I heard tonight with the Spanish:
    "...like pigs they will taste sour if they are left to stew in their own fear!"

  7. #7
    Senior Member Senior Member Oaty's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Posts
    2,863

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Goats and cowards fear these men, for very different reasons.

    I guess they rob the goats for thier milk money
    When a fox kills your chickens, do you kill the pigs for seeing what happened? No you go out and hunt the fox.
    Cry havoc and let slip the HOGS of war

  8. #8
    A Barbarian Mercenary Member unseen11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    I will always remember the quote my son in law roman general said after i put him to battle against a rebel town watch after letting him marry my daughter

    "The enemy? HA! I've seen scarier Mothers in Law!

  9. #9
    Amanuensis Member pezhetairoi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    South of Sabara
    Posts
    2,719

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    LOL! That's really good.


    EB DEVOTEE SINCE 2004

  10. #10
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by unseen11
    "The enemy? HA! I've seen scarier Mothers in Law!
    ...thatīs a killer! Hmm, reminds me of my ex-mother in law.

  11. #11
    Member Member The_678's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hamilton, Ontario, Canada!
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Damn I have a really good in my head I just can't seem to remember. It goes something like " I want to make them bleed, I want to something with blood, I want to bathe in their blood" It sounds awesome and is for good bloody generals.

    Otto - They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing...Oh there they go
    Cool Site

  12. #12

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    When I used a mad son as a general of the Julii because he was the only one convenient to put down some rebels, he had a great speech: "It will be frocks and jollies for every one!" [roaring cheer from the troops] Won the battle, too. Are there other madman speeches? I'm going to have to use him more often.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by oaty
    Goats and cowards fear these men, for very different reasons.

    I guess they rob the goats for thier milk money
    I thought it was "Only sheep and babies fear these men, for very different reasons."

    The goat one, where the enemy general flees, I like that one.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    The only one that I really remember is when playing an insane Roman general.

    "Remember, they may have the moon people on their side, but we have lovely hats! Those hats will shield us from their evil gaze!"

  15. #15
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by gardibolt
    I'm going to have to use him more often.
    Please do!

  16. #16
    Caged for your safety Member RabidGibbon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Leeds.
    Posts
    356

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    My favourite speech is the macedonian,

    "Battle is never an easy thing, especially before breakfast, never mind, time enough for breakfast after we've driven these dogs back to their kennel!"

    Never heard an insane general mouth off like mentioned above though - does that only work with the romans?

  17. #17
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by RabidGibbon
    Never heard an insane general mouth off like mentioned above though - does that only work with the romans?
    It seems that the Romans delivers the most spiced up speeches. Since this is Rome TW I guess CA thought they put more effort into them.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Senior Member katank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Cambridge, MA, USA
    Posts
    3,739

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    That's not entirely true. I've had a moon people speech by a Seleucid general.

    The hairy beyond reason speech about the Gauls by the Romans seem unique however.

    It's unfortunate that all my greatest generals are bloodthirsty bastards, faction leader, heir, generals with 7+ stars.

    They say "I want their blood. I want to bathe in their blood. I want to bathe in their blood for a week".

  19. #19
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Ostrayliah
    Posts
    3,590

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Playing as Carthage, has anyone heard the speech if you're playing against the Romans, and they start routing?

    'The Roman eagle is a Roman turkey!! The enemy are fleeing!!'
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  20. #20
    Member Member The_678's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hamilton, Ontario, Canada!
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by katank
    They say "I want their blood. I want to bathe in their blood. I want to bathe in their blood for a week".
    That's the one I was talking about that I love.

    Otto - They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing...Oh there they go
    Cool Site

  21. #21
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeus Caesar
    Playing as Carthage, has anyone heard the speech if you're playing against the Romans, and they start routing?
    'The Roman eagle is a Roman turkey!! The enemy are fleeing!!'
    Yeah, alomost fell of my chair laughing.
    I do agree with Katank though that the "bade in their blood-speech" is a gem. I always get into the battle with a slightly more punitive attitude when I hear that one.

  22. #22
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hordaland, Norway
    Posts
    6,426

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by katank
    That's not entirely true. I've had a moon people speech by a Seleucid general.
    With greek accent too?

    Hm. How do you guys train these loonies? Never got them yet. Then I never play the romans.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeus Caesar
    Playing as Carthage, has anyone heard the speech if you're playing against the Romans, and they start routing?

    'The Roman eagle is a Roman turkey!! The enemy are fleeing!!'
    No. Actually I haven`t, guess I have to play them one more time.
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  23. #23

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    I've heard a funny Armenian speech once: " The enemy leader is dead, let's hope he won't poison the carrying birds."

    I still think the mother-in-law one is funnier, although I never encountered it.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Senior Member Oaty's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Posts
    2,863

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    " The enemy leader is dead, let's hope he won't poison the carrying birds."
    That would be Carion birds, another term for vulture
    When a fox kills your chickens, do you kill the pigs for seeing what happened? No you go out and hunt the fox.
    Cry havoc and let slip the HOGS of war

  25. #25
    Don't mess with the Beef, FOOL Member Beefy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    England, land of beer and curry
    Posts
    137

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    "its time to kill the baby eating carthaginians" cant rememeber the rest! but it still madwe me laugh!
    The Vandal Horde RTW Clan looking for new members!


  26. #26
    Merkismathr of Birka Member PseRamesses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Birka town in Svitjod. Realm of the Rus and the midnight sun.
    Posts
    1,939

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    "The Roman leader lies dead on the battlefield. Few Greeks would weep to see such man die!"

  27. #27

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    I do not have RTW, but i think the Roman eagle is a roman Turkey speech is rather strange. I thought turkeys were only found in the New World? Is that an anachronism? Maybe roman fowl or chicken would do better.

  28. #28
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Ostrayliah
    Posts
    3,590

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Hm, i can't remember whether it was chicken or turkey, so i went with turkey, and having heard what you just said, it prolly was chicken. Btw, does anyone here think that the roman guy in battles who speaks at the end of battles sounds like scooby-doo?

    'The day is ooouuurs!!!'
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  29. #29
    Elephant Master Member Conqueror's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In the Ruins of Europe
    Posts
    1,258

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    This is my favorite (may not be 100% correct): "The Roman leader is dead! Who will mourn for him? Perhaps only his catamites!"

    RTW, 167 BC: Rome expels Greek philosophers after the Lex Fannia law is passed. This bans the effete and nasty Greek practice of 'philosophy' in favour of more manly, properly Roman pursuits that don't involve quite so much thinking.

  30. #30

    Default Re: Cool pre-battle speaches II:

    Quote Originally Posted by Conqueror
    This is my favorite (may not be 100% correct): "The Roman leader is dead! Who will mourn for him? Perhaps only his catamites!"
    Lol...

    Which faction said that?

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO