Daddy's Dating Rules

[Beirut]

Being the principle guardian of the safety of my sweetie's seven and nine year old daughters, I am going to have the opportunity to nail that wonderful list of rules to the forehead of the first boy that shows up at my door.

My God, it's going to be fun.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Being the principle guardian of the safety of my sweetie's seven and nine year old daughters, I am going to have the opportunity to nail that wonderful list of rules to the forehead of the first boy that shows up at my door.

My God, it's going to be fun.

But, you like the women, right Beirut? So wouldn't you find yourself empathising with the poor lad a bit too much? I mean, he just wants what you want.

[Dutch_guy]

the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me

[Byzantine Prince]

This whole datingt hing is a bit to much as it is, do we really need the parents involved and armed to the teeth?

Can't we all get along without stereotyping? I seriously doubt most teenagers are wild rapists that are up to no good.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I seriously doubt most teenagers are wild rapists that are up to no good.

So it's just you then?

[Byzantine Prince]

Nah, I'm too shy for any of that.

[GoreBag]

Nah, I'm too shy for any of that.

Wussy!

[Beirut]

But, you like the women, right Beirut? So wouldn't you find yourself empathising with the poor lad a bit too much? I mean, he just wants what you want.

I empathize with the poor lad completely. He can break all the hearts he wants.

But if he does it at my house...



(And I know how to tie it the right way.)

[ah_dut]

I empathize with the poor lad completely. He can break all the hearts he wants.

But if he does it at my house...



(And I know how to tie it the right way.)

So beirut, where do I sign up to break your daughter's heart

[Beirut]

So beirut, where do I sign up to break your daughter's heart

Just sign at the bottom of the page, right beside where it says "Organ Donor".

[Drisos]

Why, oh why are some fathers so idiot about a date of their daughter?

I mean: threathening a girl's boyfriend before he has done one thing wrong is quite insane. In fact: I think it would be much worse for a girl if her father killed her boyfriend.

If I was a girl (nooooo, ) I'd move out of my fathers house if he did this.


The girl I like most has nice parents, they like and don't have shotguns.

[Beirut]

Why, oh why are some fathers so idiot about a date of their daughter?

I mean: threathening a girl's boyfriend before he has done one thing wrong is quite insane. In fact: I think it would be much worse for a girl if her father killed her boyfriend.

No it wouldn't.

The reason we menfolk think it's a good idea to threaten the boyfriend in advance is to at least try to impart some discipline upon his most undisciplned lower half. Because a fifteen or sixteen year-old horny toad will be all too ready and willing to forget the complications inherent in unprotected sexual activity. Thos being pregnancy, STDs, and my boot accelerating up his ass. Therefore, in the best interests of all, he get's fair warning. "You pull a Pearl Harbor on my little sweetie, and Hiroshima will follow upon you as sure as night follows day."

The girl I like most has nice parents, they like and don't have shotguns.

Yes he does. I sold it to him.

[Mouzafphaerre]

Just sign at the bottom of the page, right beside where it says "Organ Donor".

.

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[The Wizard]

Being the principle guardian of the safety of my sweetie's seven and nine year old daughters, I am going to have the opportunity to nail that wonderful list of rules to the forehead of the first boy that shows up at my door.

My God, it's going to be fun.

*decides he won't go to Quebec for the next twenty years*

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

*decides he won't go to Quebec for the next twenty years*

*decides not to go to Quebec EVER again*

[ichi]

shot and buried they are no longer a problem, but wounded and able to tell the others why and how, that's just free advertising

ichi

[Mouzafphaerre]

*decides not to go to Quebec EVER again*

.
*packs for Quebec*
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[Suraknar]

*contemplates the fact that he does live in Quebec as well*

Santé!

[Togakure]

My goddaughter, her father and I played a joke on one of her dates (she's only 14 so it was a pretty "lite" date). She told him that it was really important to make a good impression on her dad, to introduce himself and be polite, etc. When he came over, I answered the door. He immediately smiled, shook my hand, and started jabbering away in a most friendly manner--assuming I was her dad. Sammy played along, having a tough time keeping from busting up laughing. I went along with it, not talking very much, and I neither glowered nor smiled.

Finally he was feeling comfortable and he turned to Sammy and said, "I thought you said your dad was on the heavy side ... he's not fat at all!" I'm about 5'8", 155 pounds. At this point, Sammy's dad came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

Do you all remember William Wallace's buddy Hamish in the movie "Braveheart?" Well, my bro Larry looks almost exactly like him--6'2", 300 pounds, and a 16-year retired veteran of the US Special Forces and Reserve National Guard (Panama, Grenada, Desert Shield, Desert Storm, et. al). He's a giant teddy bear, but if you don't know him he can be extremely intimidating.

Larry said in a low growl of a voice, "So ... do you think I'm fat??!!" In actuality Larry is quite fat these days. I thought the poor kid was going to wet himself. Honey lips from the previous moment turned to quivering jello, and the confident, almost cocky voice dwindled to a stammer. Fortunately Larry is a sensitive fellow, and broke into a huge grin and extended his hand just before I think the kid was going to break and run. Sammy and I burst out laughing. It took Mr. Date (I can't remember his name) a few seconds to realize we'd been messin' with him, but he took it in stride despite turning a deep shade of crimson.

All Larry had to say before they left was: "You're going to keep my daughter safe and have her home on time, correct?" One would have thought Mr. Date had just been given a top secret mission critical to national security. He looked Larry in the eye and replied most severely, "You can count on it sir." At least he didn't salute. He kept his word.

[Mouzafphaerre]

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[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

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*packs for Quebec*
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What, you got a death wish?

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

What, you got a death wish?

Maybe he's 7' tall, 350lbs and armed to the teeth.