Look at the comments I made in the other thread before. It's a good story, but better writing can make it an excellent story. O.K, here it is:
You still write too many "...........". It's good in some places like "Something.....Anything", but remember, if you use too much of a good thing, especially in places where it is not needed, then it loses its originality. It's like if you do things all the same colour. It's bland and it just doesn't sound good.
Don't always state things. Use dialogue. Instead of saying " bad news arrive after one hour" (little grammatical/spelling error: it should be bad news arrives), go into a whole scene where you have a mud-splattered messenger telling the Teutonmeister that the Poles have invaded Prussia and have pillaged the land. Then you have the Teutonmeister ordering his squire to send for all the generals. Describe the scene in the Chancellery a bit more. Have some people first saying that the Poles are too strong and the Teutons too weak and that they must flee. This helps the story come alive and makes the reader want to read on. By the way, your tense slipped at the end. Its good if write in the present since it makes the story more vivid, but stick to the present.
On more ideas for the story, how about that the Pope betrays the Teutonmeister and threatens excommunication if he does not make peace with Poland (Pope's been bribed). That could be an interesting twist.

P.S Hope you like my story since it's set in your favourite empire.