22 Aphorisms

[Mouzafphaerre]

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22 Aphorisms*

1. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
3. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
4. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
5. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
6. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
7. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
11. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
12. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
13. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
14. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
15. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
16. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
17. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
18. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
19. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
20. Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
21. Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
22. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

*An aphorism is a tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion; an adage.

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[Byzantine Prince]

Two Wongs don't make a white.

[Kraxis]

The clothes makes the man, a woman doesn't need it to score.

[ichi]

You can observe a lot by watching.

ichi

[octavian]

rofl, good thread, i'll try to remember to post some of my own sometime.

[Quietus]

"There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers" - Quietus (me).

[IliaDN]

There are no ugly women if have enough vodka.

[Somebody Else]

There are no ugly women if have enough vodka.

Sometimes there's never enough vodka.

[IliaDN]

Sometimes there's never enough vodka.

Heh!

[Craterus]

"There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers" - Quietus (me).

I've got a stupid question: "Is this a stupid question?"

[A.Saturnus]

[Quietus]

I've got a stupid question: "Is this a stupid question?"

It's not stupid, merely incomplete since you didn't supply the actual question. (This is not a stupid answer either )

[Idomeneas]

There are no ugly women if have enough vodka.

davai za nas

[Laridus Konivaich]

Moderation in all things except moderation. - Not talking about forum moderators here, in case anyone was confused.

[Al Khalifah]

This is not a blank post.

[Laridus Konivaich]

This is not a blank post.

Sometimes less is more.

[Al Khalifah]

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

[Laridus Konivaich]

You always find it in the lst place the you look.

[Al Khalifah]

You always find it in the lst place the you look.

Of course you always find something in the last place you look. Why would you carry on searching in places for something after you've already found it?

[Laridus Konivaich]

But it is entirely true, which is the main point of an aphorism.

[Craterus]

Check this out:

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/annoy.htm

It's a list of funny stuff.

[Laridus Konivaich]

More:

This was posted by IliaDN, elsewhere: "An empty barrel makes more noise than a full one."

Other:
"Only a fool claims to know everything, and only a fool believes him."
"There are some things which cannot be taught, save through the temperance of age."
"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

[asilv]

"Give man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Hit man with a fish and you can steal his wallet"

[Laridus Konivaich]

"Give man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Hit man with a fish and you can steal his wallet"

I always heard it this way, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

[SwordsMaster]

I always heard it this way, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll ruin his marriage.