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Thread: Fall of Constantinople

  1. #31
    Member Member lolllol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Great story ed! How many more is there to come?

  2. #32
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Thanks ma man!!!

    Well, since this is the siege from 1422, until 1453 there are gonna be many many chapters.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  3. #33
    Legendary Member Taurus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Very good story and I mean very good. Nice work mate!

  4. #34
    Boy's Guard Senior Member LeftEyeNine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    edzy,

    Literary efforts always lead you to perfection in your writing skills. So you should keep it on. As long as the talent matters, some sword would hold stain if not used for a long time..

    However, forcing people to comment on your work every post, I think, is not a good way to expect contribution. If you'd like "March forwards, my man! You the Great!" words, that may work. But someone would voluntarily comment on your story in really contributive ways, if you indicate your expectations of comments on the story for once and without forcing them to do. We are all able to read every post of yours and already know that you expect feedback for your story. Do not worry you'll get it. You already got, didn't you ?

    Keep it on.. I did not have time right now to read your chapters, however King Henry V 's recommendations are general outlines one must follow for any literary work. You must take them seriously.

    You shall not lose your inspiration mate ;)
    Last edited by LeftEyeNine; 07-29-2005 at 12:26.

  5. #35
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Quote Originally Posted by LeftEyeNine
    edzy,

    Literary efforts always lead you to perfection in your writing skills. So you should keep it on. As long as the talent matters, some sword would hold stain if not used for a long time..

    However, forcing people to comment on your work every post, I think, is not a good way to expect contribution. If you'd like "March forwards, my man! You the Great!" words, that may work. But someone would voluntarily comment on your story in really contributive ways, if you indicate your expectations of comments on the story for once and without forcing them to do. We are all able to read every post of yours and already know that you expect feedback for your story. Do not worry you'll get it. You already got, didn't you ?

    Keep it on.. I did not have time right now to read your chapters, however King Henry V 's recommendations are general outlines one must follow for any literary work. You must take them seriously.

    You shall not lose your inspiration mate ;)
    Wow... Maybe I should change my attitude... As for the feedback, I really have.
    I really did take King Henry V and Monk's comments for serious.

    Thanks for the comments. I will post chapters soon, so my readers shouldn't be dissappointed.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  6. #36
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Work in progress.
    Last edited by edyzmedieval; 02-20-2012 at 22:43.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  7. #37
    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Couple of nice scenes there, but to be honest it is a bit bare. There is some detail, more than when you first started which is good, but there isn't that much drama. When you mention that the German Emperor is deposed, you speak of it casually like the road to Constantinople is blocked by flooding, so Cantacuzenus will have to stay a few more days in Belgrade. BTW, sorry old chap, I made a mistake. It's the Emperor Sigismund, not Siegfried. Then there's the last comment where the diplomat will be curious to find out Manuel's reaction. Why? I would have thought that the Emperor would be enraged, and one doesn't want to be near an anrgy sovereign at any moment.
    www.thechap.net
    "We were not born into this world to be happy, but to do our duty." Bismarck
    "You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. One or the other. Not both." The Right Hon. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
    "Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication" - Lord Byron
    "Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison." - C. S. Lewis

  8. #38
    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    BTW, I do recommend reading Ludens' excellent Punctuation of Dialogue.
    www.thechap.net
    "We were not born into this world to be happy, but to do our duty." Bismarck
    "You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. One or the other. Not both." The Right Hon. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
    "Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication" - Lord Byron
    "Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison." - C. S. Lewis

  9. #39
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    The diplomatical missions are supposed to be bare. What do you want, to kill the Emperor?!

    Sigismund was after he left the german country.

    And the thing is, Manuel was never an angry emperor. I read that he was temperamental.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  10. #40
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Good story, Edzymedieval. The situation is very interesting.

    However, I do think Henry V is right when he says the scenes are bare. Basically, all that happens is the diplomat walks up to the throne, asks for support, the King says "No, because..." and the diplomat is off again. It would be more interesting if you made it seem more like real diplomacy. For example, do not let the diplomat get straight to the point, but have him chat up the King a little. Make him probe whether the King is sympathetic or not, and only when that is ascertained, make the offer. Then, negotiations can start, because no one is going to raise an army to fight the mighty Turks without something to make the risk worthwhile.

    Do not get straight to the point, few people did that, and certainly not the Byzantines. That makes for longer, more interesting scenes.

    Anyway, I am interested how the Roman Empire will fare. Please continue with your story .
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  11. #41
    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Quote Originally Posted by edyzmedieval
    The diplomatical missions are supposed to be bare. What do you want, to kill the Emperor?!

    Sigismund was after he left the german country.

    And the thing is, Manuel was never an angry emperor. I read that he was temperamental.
    No, not kill the emperor, it's just that when hears Sigismund was deposed you make it sound like perfectly usual event, like all the shops are closed on Sunday or something. Why not something like "The news pread like wildfire throughout the country: the Emperor has been deposed."
    www.thechap.net
    "We were not born into this world to be happy, but to do our duty." Bismarck
    "You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. One or the other. Not both." The Right Hon. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
    "Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication" - Lord Byron
    "Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison." - C. S. Lewis

  12. #42
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    I'll try to remind of your suggestions.

    The next chapter is very interesting. Nearly finished.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  13. #43
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Chapter VII.

    Work in Progress.
    Thank you for your understanding.
    Last edited by edyzmedieval; 08-28-2009 at 09:27.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  14. #44
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Can you post some feedback guys?!

    Please....
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  15. #45

    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    even if I didn't read everything (I'll try to finish the reading soon) I see that like to write, it's easy to see. The best I can do to help you is sayin' it's good...

    Like Ludens told me (or someone else), "most of the readers on this forum are silent ones".

  16. #46
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Phalanx,

    You're right. I like to write.

    The next chapter is very long, until now, it's 2 A4 pages.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  17. #47
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Quote Originally Posted by edyzmedieval
    Can you post some feedback guys?!
    The Mead Hall is usually a silent place: you have gotten quite a lot of feedback already. Don't feel put out when you don't get a reaction every chapter you post.

    Personally, I don't like to post feedback every chapter. I prefer to wait a few chapters to see how the story is flowing. It is so easy to miss things if you only have one piece of text to judge it by.

    Keeping that in mind: I like the divided councel, but I had a bit of trouble determining who said what. Also, what was exactly decided? You could try to lengthen it a bit and make it more like a heathed business conference, with people raising their voices and hacking away at each other's ideas. I don't know if such a thing would be possible at the Byzantine Emperor's court, but it can make for a nice scene .

    Good luck with chapter 8!
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  18. #48
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Thanks Ludens.

    The Senate didn't approve the attack, because of the fierce competition. They supported Loukan, the Admiral, more than the Emperor.

    It was a dispute. More will come up.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  19. #49

    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    it seems nothing for u probably, but I've learned a great lesson from the rencent posts (about always asking feedback) and I think I'll change my attitude too... I'll try to spam a bit less for nothing. And by the way, edzymedieval, ur story is cool so far... I'm eager to see how these political matters will end!

  20. #50
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    I'll try to make it as attractive as I can.

    More chapters are coming up. For the moment, I am fully concentrating on this book/story. Who knows, I might publish it.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

    Proud

    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  21. #51

    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    u got my support, man! LOL! :) I'll always keep an eye on ur story..... while I'll try to write my tale myself (even if it is less popular....)
    Last edited by Greek Phalanx; 10-07-2005 at 01:06.

  22. #52
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Thanks man!!!

    You should be proud of your book also....
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

    Proud

    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  23. #53

    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Quote Originally Posted by edyzmedieval
    Thanks man!!!

    You should be proud of your book also....
    Err... maybe not that much. Anyway keep up the good work!

  24. #54
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    You should be proud at least of the Greek Carthaginian Tale.

    Which reminds me, I've just started the work on "Carthage", another big story of mine....It's gonna be more like a historical novel, with the Rise and Fall of Carthage.

    The Teutonic Knights are waiting, but the Paladins story hasn't got any success, so I'll leave it.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

    Proud

    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  25. #55

    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Quote Originally Posted by edyzmedieval
    You should be proud at least of the Greek Carthaginian Tale.

    Which reminds me, I've just started the work on "Carthage", another big story of mine....It's gonna be more like a historical novel, with the Rise and Fall of Carthage.

    The Teutonic Knights are waiting, but the Paladins story hasn't got any success, so I'll leave it.
    yeah good luck with ur story. Though, I was once proud of Antigon's tales, but now I look at it with a different view. It was a bit too pretentious, I believe. I was too. Anyway I try to change a bit of subject. I alrdy started the Book 3 of my Archangel tale (it's a secret though as book 2 isn't completed) in another forum.

  26. #56
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    I like it that you make huuuge stories.

    And you have much talent, and people like very much your work. Your books always get "hot topic" at Total War.com

    Maybe you should try to be an author....
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  27. #57
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Chapter VIII.

    Work in Progress.
    Thank you for your understanding.
    Last edited by edyzmedieval; 08-28-2009 at 09:29.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

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    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  28. #58
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Question Re: Fall of Constantinople

    How is chapter 9 progressing?
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  29. #59
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    It's going great.Will try to post it soon, have some probems with the PC....

    Doing chapter 10.
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

    Proud

    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

  30. #60
    Ja mata, TosaInu Forum Administrator edyzmedieval's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fall of Constantinople

    Been a very long time since I posted something here. I got on with the school and other stuff.

    I hope I will have some time to post the latest chapters. I am also working on a next chapter.

    Cheers everybody!
    Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.

    Proud

    Been to:

    Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.

    A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?

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