Fall of Constantinople

[Monk]

Hey everyone, I wanted to post up a note about the progress. I've started working on it again and ill hope that I can give a few chapters soon.
Its going pretty slow unfortunately, but I want it to be much better than it was.

Good writing is not to be rushed Edyz so don't worry about taking your time. Good to hear you're back at work.

[Tantalaul]

Salut

Si mie mi-a placut Vintila Corbul
Traducerea a fost foarte buna
Multa bafta

[Monk]

Bumped from the depths by a mysterious poster.

Any word on thoughts of continuation edyz?

[edyzmedieval]

Yeap still workin on it Monk.
Don't worry, everything is going well. If everything does as planned, in the future, you might see it on the shelves of bookstores.

[edyzmedieval]

Guys, my first new chapter after a loong period. Please enjoy, and do not refrain from commenting!


Chapter XVI - The young man


Chances were bleak for the young boy, nothing seemed to go his way. Sitting on the bank of the Black Sea in southern Thrace, he was at the border between the Ottoman Empire and the Byzantine Empire. He hated the Turks. He hated them like no other can. He considered himself fully Greek, although he was of Vlach and Armenian descent, but that did not matter to him right now. Having fought out of an Ottoman prison, he was forced to hide in the forests and stay away from major roads and cities because of the fear of being caught and sent to prison again. Getting caught now would mean sudden death for him, so the bank of the Black Sea provided excellent cover but also relief for the fugitive.

He was young, but at 20 years he has seen many things. Way too many things. Tall and well built, scars were present all over his body, making him a mutilated but still attractive man. Born in a noble Greek family, the family lands were quickly absorbed by the ever expanding Ottoman Empire, causing him to lose everything and flee along with his family from the burning flames which torched his mansion. His parents were caught afterwards by the Ottoman militias, and subsequently executed, leaving him without any family or money to help him from now on. He was completely on his own now. But he managed to survive by foraging and with the help of the local villagers. There was no time to weep or to think.

A slight hush came to his ears. It slowly grew in intensity until he realised that it was the sound made by a group of ships which were heading towards the direction they were heading south of his position. Turning around as he watched the ships go by, a tiny speck at the horizon which he hasn't seen before told to him that those were the old walls around Constatinople, the long abandoned walls of Constantine. With eager spirits, he packed up his belongings, and quickly set foot for the city. He would look for his fortunes there. He was a skilled warrior, and the local gossip indicated that the Turks have set their sights on the city itself, so why shouldn't he fight for a living?

It didn't take much time for him to walk until his senses were fully alert. He followed the side roads, passed through forests, bushes and unused roads, careful to avoid the overcrowded and guarded passageways to Constantinople. However, the side roads were full of bandits and dubious people, and it not before long he encountered an entire group. The young man started to walk slowly, without making too much noise as he tried to approach the camp so he could take a peek at what the seven men were doing. To his amazement, they were not bandits looking for targets, they were soldiers in Ottoman uniforms, standing over a campfire, sharpening their swords and their hilt daggers. As he got closer, he took a good look at the small camp and its surroundings; in the middle there was a big camp fire and around it, sitting with their legs folded, were the soldiers burning fresh game on the fire. They were relaxed, making jokes and looked lively and undisturbed, without the slightest hint of suspecting any intruders in their camp. The Greek was no stranger to military uniforms and insignia, quickly identifying the camp members as part of the regular Ottoman army made my Murad, the Azebs. There was something very peculiar about their appearance, as they did not fit the typical picture of mustached Turks with turbans on their head, curved swords at the hilt and light armor. All of them had European facial characteristics and bright blonde hair, along with sharp steel swords of high quality.


“Germans, my dear friend Leandros” said a voice behind the young man.


Startled to hear the voice behind him, Leandros jumped up like a spring and quickly took out his fighting dagger in order to defend himself from the enemy. He was shocked however to see a good friend in front of his eyes. Before he could reply, his friend continued:


“ I managed to escape in the end from the mansion. I did not get caught by the Ottoman militias, and everywhere you went I followed you. I guess it paid results this time.”


Before Leandros could utter a reply, he continued:


“I know you are on your way to Constantinople. Watching those ships so attentively clearly showed me what you were about to do. But you found out by mistake what is going on in these lands. Turks are all over, pillaging and raiding towns, cities, our lands and we cannot do anything about it. And it is not only themselves, foreign mercenaries as you can see are helping them as well. I suggest leaving the place as fast as possible, until one of them hears our whispers. Come this way, I found a separate pathway which we could use to ”


The young man followed his friend without any complaints, leading him around the forest, full with weeds and brushwood, hurting his bare feet and legs. He could do little about it than just continue walking behind his friend, and not before long the two ended up again on a small beach on the shore of the Black Sea. The walls of Constantinople were getting closer and closer, but there was still a long and perilous way to go. Sensing danger, Leandros and his friend dug a small cave in the sand where they could hide and rest for the night, continuing their journey tomorrow morning. As the two men dug their temporary home, they could hear lots of marching footsteps from the nearby road, realising that the movement of troops inside Ottoman and Byzantine territory was heavy, and that war was imminent, unless diplomacy could avoid it. Still scared because of his friend, Leandros jumped at every close sound, preventing him from having a good night's sleep along with his friend.

The next morning found the two men sleeping soundly on the beach as troops continued to pass by unhindered. There was no Byzantine reply, there couldn't be any reply, as the last troops were fiercely guarding Mistra and Constantinople, the last two Byzantine posessions. It did not take long before Leandros' friend, Ioannos, woke up and started scouting the area for potential enemies, before waking his friend up. Seeing no peril around, apart from a couple of ships which were heading for Constantinople, he slowly approached his sleeping friend, careful as not to disturb him and provoke a rude awakening.


“Leandros, are you awake? Wake up my friend, it is time to leave...”


Leandros opened his eyes, sensing Ioannos near him but also something else. He woke up slowly, packed his belongings without saying a word to Ioannos, who was standing expectatively near him, and started looking around. It didn't take much time before even Ioannos realised what was going – a large contingent of troops was heading towards Constantinople, and they were all Turks.


“It is time to get out of here, my friend. We cannot stay here. Let us go now!” said Leandros.


Not waiting to be told a second time, Ioannos packed his own belongings and the two headed towards the city in order to escape from possible capture, and subsequently, torture at the hands of the Ottoman soldiers. The two walked carefully through the bushy forests, scraping their faces, hands and legs against the branches of the trees, until they got to an unused side road which lead to a nearby village. The two Greeks approached the village hidden, not wanting to be discovered, especially with Ottoman troops around, and to their amazement, they found it deserted and lifeless. Scanning around, both Ioannos and Leandros couldn't find any Ottoman troops, but the village didn't present any signs of looting.

Suddenly 3 arrows jolted in the wooden plank beside them, as the small contigent of soldiers the two friends have seen days ago was rushing towards them with their axes and swords at large, shouting battle cries and charging towards the two Greeks. Taken by surprise, but quickly recovering, Ioannos and Leandros started running towards the closest building which was an old blacksmith's house. In ruins, the forge was still in fairly good shape and the two found a couple of rusty swords and bent spears, good enough to put up a fight against the Ottoman soldiers. The forge was fairly large, with the big oven in the middle, so the two split up, one in each corner of the room, hidden from view as no light was coming in the room. Seeing that the fugitives entered the forge, the seven soldiers split up, 3 taking each side of the room whilst the captain entered from the front. Using torches, the soldiers scanned around but did not manage to find any trace of the fugitives. In the meantime, seeing the soldiers getting closer and closer to their hidden places, the two had their spears ready, two each, whilst grabbing the hilt of their swords, preparing for retaliation. Leandros suddenly leapt forward towards the captain from the right corner of the room, throwing his first spear which ended up cutting his throat and ricocheting into another's hip. Startled by the ambush prepared, the remaining five soldiers charged towards Leandros, only to be hit in the back by two well sent spears from Ioannos. Confused, the remaining soldiers split up and two of them went for Leandros whilst the last one charged towards Ioannos. However they were no match against the skill and prowess in swordsmanship of Leandros, being easily cut down, the first one with a strike at the ribs whilst the other had his head severed by the massive blow delivered. The last soldier, in despair, surrendered to the two Greeks, begging for mercy and forgiveness. The two friends quickly tied him and asked him a couple of questions about the whereabouts of the Ottoman army, without any satisfactory results. The soldiers were indeed German mercenaries, or Allamanoi as the Romans call them, fighting for the Ottoman army, but since their leader had been killed by one of the Ottoman generals for disobedience, they were left alone and thus they ended up as brigands raiding the unguarded parties which were going on the side roads. Satisfied with his answer, the two left him in the forge, still tied up and unable to move, and continued their journey towards the city. Leandros however was unable to cope with the pressure any more, and his friend's efforts to calm him down were futile.


“That's it! I'm rushing to the capital now to join the army! I cannot stand those Turkish scumbags to pillage the land of my nation and get away with it! Are you with me, Ioannos?” screamed an angry Leandros.


“My friend there is no need for further violence. I was a soldier myself, a very good one, but I always wanted peace, I wanted the nations to coexist. “


“Until one of the nations dies, there can not be peace. One cannot live while the other lives. So, are you ready to join me?”


“I waver, but since you are so determined my friend, I shall join you.” replied Ioannos calmly.


“Very well. It is time we move on, I do not wish to have any similar experiences soon, or at least until we get to the city.”


Night was approaching fast but it did not bother the two friends as their forced march continued without a stop. They were both hardened, professional warriors, and realised the importance to get protection as soon as possible before something could happen to them.

[edyzmedieval]

First two chapters have been overhauled completely. Please enjoy.

Feedback most welcome!

[Monk]

Good work Edyz.

I think, however, that you at times try to rush through your details. You describe a lot, but you paint with a very broad brush and are telling rather than showing. It's something I constantly struggled with and is a hard habbit to break.

[edyzmedieval]

Thank you Monk for the feedback. Much appreciated.

An update is forecasted for this week.

[edyzmedieval]

One last feedback needed before the next update, is the story gripping, does it make you read more and more, or is it somewhat dull, rather boring?

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter III fully edited.
I trust you will find it very compelling and enjoyable to read...

You can find it on the first page.

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter IV fully edited. Enjoy.

[edyzmedieval]

A new chapter will come soon along with the complete editing of the chapter 5 (re-read that when it's going to be out, it's a blockbuster!) and chapter 6.

[edyzmedieval]

Here's the latest chapter of the book. I hope you enjoy it and feedback is always welcome!



Chapter XVII – Court gossip




As the sun started to rise over the big city of Constantinople, the hustle and bustle of the city soon resumed in the large markets, as citizens and sellers were actively bargaining over the prices of the produce offered at the coquette stalls. It turned out to be another normal day in the capital, as everyone took on with their usual business and regular affairs, intentionally forgetting the woes and problems of the Empire. Prosperity was long gone but this didn't stop the citizens to the beggars from roaming the streets, asking the noblemen for coins and searching for scraps of food in the filthy dumps beside the large markets. The town guard covering the Constantine district of the capital was hand in hand with the ringleaders of the beggars, and the business turned out to be profitable for both parties. When problems aroused due to the discontent and general resent towards the beggars, the police quickly dispersed them and relocated them in other areas of the city. It was a never ending cycle which plagued some and provided large profits for others.


Not all of the citizens were working however, exception to the rule being the upper class nobility, enjoying the privileges offered by their vast wealth, passed on from generation to generation. Winding down a narrow road, leading from the Forum of Constantine, was a impressive marble and carved rock villa constructed in the times of Justinian, housing the wealthy and influential Cantacuzenos family. Outside the rock walls which sheltered the lush gardens from the busy road were two German mercenaries equipped with wicked axes and chain mail, acting as guards of the villa owned by Senator Cantacuzenos. Descending from a noble family with huge estates in Anatolia and true to his vast wealth which still remained largely intact even to this day, the villa was decorated with Doric style colonnades and colorful frescoes on the frontispiece, adding to its simple beauty offered by the bright colour of the limestone which it has been constructed from. The basreliefs on the sides were intricately made with Greek and Roman mythological themes. Most viewers would characterize it as overloaded and opulent, but it was deliberately created like that to represent the wealth of its owner. Although the fiscal body of the Empire practiced massive taxes on the noblemen, his position enabled him to relieve some of those taxes, leaving him to enjoy his life.

Theodora Cantacuzenos, Senator Cantacuzenos' daughter, woke up from her sleep, brushing aside puffy pillows as she stood up to look around the room. In tone with the rest of the villa, her room was overloaded with items that hampered her movement on every occasion, but she enjoyed being materialistic. She could never understand the sombre and modest priests who were living with just a straw bed and a bread a day. In comparison, her large bed was adorned with exquisitely decorated purple silk sheets and soft, puffy pillows which comforted her every sleep. Her personal chamber was on the first floor on the villa, her balcony directly overlooking the beautiful Marmara Sea, shining brightly every morning as the sun's rays were touching her delicate, angelic face. Ships were often entering and leaving the three ports of the capital, but today a large trireme attracted her attention and after looking closely she could see the banners of the Pavlios family going against the strong wind. They were one of the most influential families in Constantinople, and by far the richest, but what interested her the most was their youngest son, Alexios. Theodora was a young and beautiful girl, part of a noble family which clearly made her a very attractive proposition in the social life of Constantinople, and offers for marriage were freely flowing. This strong position offered her however the chance of being picky regarding her possible husband, and for the moment she chose to give her heart to Alexios, who ironically wasn't interested in her at all. Time and time again she tried to get into his heart, but he would never budge. For a short period of time her setbacks even became the subject of numerous jokes within the social high life of the Byzantine capital.
Theodora heard a small pounding on her door, waking her from her reverie, and as she looked towards the other side of her chamber, her servant, Anastasia, entered the room.


“My lady, your mother requests you dress up as she wishes you attend the meal together downstairs. Do you wish me to help you?”
“No, but thank you Anastasia. Tell my mother I shall come down in earnest.”


She knew all too well what meal time meant and it wasn't to her liking. As she heard when the door was open, all of her mother's friends, which obviously were the wives of other important dignitaries and noblemen, came each day to discuss the latest gossip and social events in the city. She personally hated it as every time the women would ask when she would get married and with who, an obviously useless and sterile question but nonetheless courteous. On the other hand, it was useful for her to know if other girls were attending at Alexios' hand. Not willing to waste any more time as she had plans for that specific day, Theodora chose a simple white linen dress which made her look twice her size, but she did not care as long as she was comfortable in it. Leaving her room quietly, she tip toed to the edge of the massive stairs to overhear what her mother and her guests were talking about, as she knew that the most important information was omitted or forgotten when she was present. Her maid was one of her best friends, and she supplied her with valuable information every time something relevant came up in the discussions. Sneaking up from behind, her maid whispered in Theodora's ear, visibly startling her.


“There is an upcoming ball in Constantinople, which will be hosted in our house, and Alexios will be present. It is one of the most important events of the year in place, and I suggest you start looking for a dress as soon as possible. If you do not have any other plans, go to Kir Dimitraki today. I have arranged a meeting for you in any case.”
“Thank you, Anastasia. Now leave at once, I do not want my mother to see us together right now, or she will be suspicious because you're not down there helping her.“


Inhaling deeply, Theodora started to descend the marble stairs slowly and silently, holding on the side rail like it was her life line while carefully scanning the large living room where her mother and her friends were enjoying lunch. Remarkably, by the time she fully descended the stairs nobody seemed to take notice of her. Stepping softly on the Persian rug and getting closer to her table, she was observed by her mother who was too distraught by the bubbly conversation to realise the implications of her daughter's presence at that very moment in the living room of the villa.


“... Alexios is rich as we all know, and somebody special told me Antipatra Botaneiates, you know, the descendant of Nikephoros' general, is going to be his wife. She's young and devastatingly beautiful and will be introduced at the ball. And she's only 16, perfect to be wed. What more could he ask for?” said Basilia Comnen.
“Who told you that?” replied Theodora's mother,Destasia.
“Senator Loukan, who else. He knows the important gossip around and I take his word for granted. Alexios will be wed at this upcoming ball.” replied Nonna, one of her neighbours.
“Oh, will he?” interrupted Theodora


By the time she was beside the large mahogany table, she overheard most of the freely flowing conversation which suddenly stopped when everyone realised her presence. Startled by the sudden realisation, her mother quickly stepped in to calm down the akward situation.


“Theodora, my dear, do sit down with us.”
“I am fine mother. I will not be staying long with you, I have to attend the mass at the Church of the Holy Apostles. Father Anastasiou is waiting for me.”


Theodora stopped to look at the women gathered at the table, every one of them looking at her intensely, some with remorse and contempt towards her beauty and youthfulness.


“But before that, what is this ball you are speaking of?” said Theodora in a soft tone.


Visibly uncomfortable at the question, her mother tried to come up with a cover up answer but her efforts were thwarted when Theodora looked at her, raising her eyebrow slightly.


“My dear daughter, in a couple of weeks time, a grand ball will be hosted in your estemeed family's house, and this will be a golden ocassion for all beautiful women like you to find suitable husbands. All dignitaries and their sons will be present, so make sure to be prepared for it. We tried to make it a surprise for you but it looks like you found out before term.” answered dryly Basilia Comnen.
“I am sure you will like it my daughter.” replied Theodora's mother immediately.
“I am sure I will. Mother, if you allow me, I shall retreat and attend the mass. Good day to you all.” concluded Theodora gracefully, leaving the women alone to resume their gossip.


Theodora immediately left her home, contemplating about her direction once on the busy street. Instead of heading towards the church, she decided to walk towards Kir Dimitraki's shop of fine textiles, with a clear mission in her head. She thanked Anastasia for her inspiration. Once she would get there, she would arrange the details of her dress for the upcoming ball, which in her mind was vital to secure her marriage with Alexios Pavlios, if possible. She was walking alone, opting to leave her maid behind with her mother and her friends, taking in the breeze of the midday while managing through the intense traffic of merchants and their fully loaded caravans which were travelling through the narrow streets from her house towards the Forum of Theodosius. Town guards and merchants alike were whistling after her but nobody dared to touch her as they knew very well who she is, or more appropriately, who are her parents.
She soon arrived at Dimitraki's textile shop, finding him downtrodden and staring blankly at the ceiling, noticing in the meantime the dampness in the shop which was irritating her nostrils. Surprised at her sudden presence, he immediately woke up from his reverie and smiled brightly towards his esteemed customer. Dimitraki admired her beauty like no other man could, and she used it to her advantage as he would always get the best fabrics and the softest silk for the garments he so skillfully created for her.


“Kalimera, Kiria Theodora! What makes you grace my eyes with your lovely presence?”
“You are in your usual spirits, I see. My dear Dimitraki, as you might have heard, and I am sure you have, there is a very important social event coming up soon, and it is crucial for me to have the best dress possible. I want the best fabrics you can offer me, and I do not care about the price.” said Theodora huskily, stressing the social event part heavily in order for Dimitraki to understand.
“My lovely Theodora, I have heard about the event that will soon take place, and do not worry one moment, Alexios is coming. I am sure this time he will not refuse you, said Dimitraki smiling at her uneasiness. And as for your other concern, I got exactly what you need. Please have a look around as I return.” replied Dimitraki.


The textile merchant left the counter and opened a door which led to the storage room located in the cool basement of his small shop. Theodora was left all alone in the shop, looking through the fine textiles neatly laid out on the wooden tables. She was always impressed with the quality of the fabrics Dimitraki obtained and sometimes she was wondering where did he actually get them. The state manufacture was in a crisis of materials, so he must have some other channels of obtaining his special cloth. The shopkeeper returned immediately with a stunning white silk cloth, incredibly smooth and eye catching. What was remarkable was the painstaking gold embroidery which created a distinct pattern along the line of the dress, coming in as a perfect complement for the young woman's fit body. Theodora was stunned and Dimitraki knew all too well that he was in for another feast back at home.


“I shall return tomorrow so you can take my measurements and create my ceremonial dress. I am expecting it later this week because the ball is this weekend. My dear merchant, right now I must go but I shall return as promised. Have a good day.”
“Enjoy your day my dear girl.“ said Dimitraki, bowing slightly as the young woman left his coquette shop, leaving him happy in her wake.




The intensity of the gossip and information surrounding the ball increased inversely proportional with the number of days left. The night before the ball was a real hysteria between the daughters and the sons, as they all were intensely preparing their dresses and their ornate caftans for the ball that was about to commence in a couple of hours. In the guests' house, Theodora was preparing her grand entry with the help of her maid, upstairs in her private chamber. She donned an intricate hair design which symbolised her powerful social status and at the same time perfectly complemented her white silk dress, made to measure by Dimitraki in his small shop. Although she thought it wouldn't give her the beauty she hoped for, on the contrary as she would soon observe herself, the dress gave her an aura of femininity and attraction that no other woman could match in the ballroom. To complete her intricate outfit she placed a delicate diamond diadem on her head. The intricate embroidery helped serve her interests, adding a touch of sophistication and grace which Dimitraki knew exactly how to arrange on the dress in order to suit the young woman. Senator Cantacuzenos'daughter strikingly resembled a Greek goddess, which impressed everyone around her.


The ballroom was soon ready to receive its guests, the interior decorated with candles strewn along the tables and beside the pillars supporting the massive room in golden candlesticks, somehow making it resemble a religious ceremony. Although the light shone by the candles was slightly dim and orientated towards the corners of the room, it created a mysterious atmosphere which the guests, particularly the young ladies, would enjoy to the fullest. As the esteemed host and as the protocol imposed, Senator Cantacuzenos was dressed in a light blue caftan with obvious Turkish influence, embroidered by Dimitraki as well, using specially created patterns, complemented by a large diamond encrusted hat, similar to the Emperor's crown, covering his massive head. His large belly was simply forcing the seams of his garment, leaving a rather wide opening along the lines of the golden embroidery showing his black undergarments. His wife, shocked by his unkempt appearance, ushered him back to his room despite his loud protests and sent her personal maid as well to aid him in his arrangements with a clear mission. She quickly returned back to the dining room to arrange the final details and decorations but decided to visit Theodora in her private chamber. Slowly opening the door, she could see Theodora hunched over the side of her balcony.


“Theodora my dear, what's wrong?” said her mother.
“Nothing mother, I just felt ill and I bent over to relieve my sickness. Have the guests arrived?”
“Not yet. I shall send Anastasia to you when everyone will be there so you can make your entry. And please, do not feel overly excited about this, it is a simple social ceremony which will benefit us all. It is not as a compulsory ceremony before our beloved Emperor, God bless him!”
“Yes mother, I understand very well. By the time our guests arrive, I shall be ready to greet them all and engage in wise conversations with them. Do you think this dress made by Kir suits me well?”
“Theodora, you are young and beautiful, and this dress is wonderful. Our faith in Dimitraki is well founded. Do not worry, everything will be all right. Just be ready and calm. I shall leave now and I will see you downstairs.”


Her mother left the chamber leaving her all alone on her soft bed. She started sobbing quietly, without knowing why exactly, but she thought it was because of her chances of marriage. Anastasia, upon seeing her, decided to close the door and usher the rest of the peeking servants to the ballroom.


As the guests started to arrive at Cantacuzenos' villa, the guards posted at the gate, dressed up in bright red ceremonial uniform, with silver-headed spears and golden shields lowered their weapons in a ceremonial tradition. The small road from the gate to the villa door was lined up with the guards, who oddly resembled Praetorians, slightly lowering their spears every time a guest passed, offering a special detail before the start of the ball. In the end, they were forced to keep them lowered at all times due to the impressive flow of people walking down the garden road towards the entrance of the villa where Senator Cantacuzenos, suitably dressed this time, his wife and their servants were awaiting the guests with cups of French wine from the coastal province of Aquitaine, coming out of the underground cellars of the villa. Once inside, the guests discovered a long mahogany table in the middle of the room filled with culinary delights and easy Mediterranean style dishes, along with an endless number of bottles of wine strewn along the length of the table, making it easily accessible for the guests. Theodora didn't wait for long until she was called up by Anastasia to come down to the ball. Most of the guests decided to sit on the comfortable divans, obviously enjoying the fashion spectacle.
Once at the top of the spiral marble stairs, all eyes drifted towards her as she slowly descended them with the grace of a gazelle, smiling towards her guests. She quickly headed for her assigned place , along with other young women, ready for the start of the ball. Her show was short but heavily impacted all of the guests.


Once almost all of the guests were gathered together, the entertainment started, provided by the rhythms of two Greek troubadours playing traditional folklore using their bouzouki, the typical Greek guitar. The young noblemen didn't waste much time and invited the beautiful girls to the dance, most of them accepting the invitation. Some refused however, awaiting a more handsome and more suitable proposition. Seated in the middle on a Lebanese cedar chair was Theodora flanked by the rest of the girls which refused, looking with superiority towards the dancing crowd. Out of nowhere, Alexios gracefully came up and invited her to dance with him. Visibly flattered and impressed, she could barely utter a “yes” until she rose and followed Alexios in the midst of the dancers, under the envious eyes of her companions.
It didn't take much time for her to be impressed by his handsomeness and his remarkable dancing skills, flowing easily and seamlessly on the polished floor with Theodora at his hand. Alexios looked her straight in the eye with every occasion he had, showing visible signs of interest which delighted the young woman. Alexios gathered enough courage to start speaking to her whilst enjoying a slow dance.


“I know about your interest in me. Everyone in the city knows it.” said Alexios
“If everyone knows it, then they should stop looking at us as if we were some sort of freaks.” replied Theodora quietly
“They will never accept this fact. They all know you're beautiful, and we both know us Greeks are one of the most jealous people.”
“They should know better. How come other beautiful girls, like Anna Loukan and Helena Paleologos, don't get suitable husbands? They should start worrying about their own problems rather than others.” said Theodora dryly.
“Make them understand and I will throw a party in your honour, my lady. Take my word for it..”
“I am. But what happened to Antipatra Botaneiates? Rumour is you're going to marry her.”
“I am supposed to, but I'm not too sure. I thank you for the dance. Don't worry, I am sure your mother or your close friends will have something to tell you after this ball is over.” said Alexios as the Greek troubadour stopped.


During their short dialogue, other couples as well were impressing the seemingly important audience providing a very delightful show for men and women alike. Alexios and Theodora knew he would be the center of attention, but he loved it and tried to continue and delight as much as possible. The troubadour continued playing his instrument, engaging the crowd and the main participants alike well into the night, until the servants arrived with the specialty – roasted game – hunted personally by Cantacuzenos and his high ranked friends, a couple of days before the ball in the personal grounds of the Emperor near the Diplokonion port, a couple of hours away from Constantinople. The guests greatly enjoyed their fine meal complemented by even more bottles of wine and started offering their thanks and cheers towards the staff and to the hosts. Surprisingly for Theodora, Alexios ignored her completely after the dance and drifted towards the corner of the room to join his friends and his parents, leaving her startled with other single girls.


As the ball was reaching its end and guests started to leave, the ones who were still actively participating where gathered in small groups discussing their own business and interests. In the corner which was overlooking the table, Senator Loukan was sitting all by himself enjoying a cup of wine and looking with interest at the young girls dancing by the rhythms of the Turkish troubadour, who took over from the Greeks.


“Loukan, I see you are enjoying the ball...” said Senator Cantacuzenos.
“Who wouldn't? Look at all these beautiful girls, and also, the wine you have offered us is excellent. Remind me to visit your wine merchant after this party is over.” replied Senator Loukan.
“With pleasure. I am sure he will be more than delighted to have a knowledgeable customer with deep pockets to share with him.”


Sighing audibly, Cantacuzenos resumed the conversation in a sharp and precise tone, which gave food for thought for Loukan more than the words he heard.


“Loukan, I have received an offer for a considerable sum of money and significant privileges if I decide to help the Ottomans and provide valuable subterfuge information whilst they prepare for another attack on Constantinople.”


Senator Loukan immediately switched his vulture-like gaze from the girls who were swinging their curvy hips and shoulders to Cantacuzenos' small, gray eyes and round, plump face covered by his snow white beard. He downed the remaining sip of liquor in one shot and placed the crystal cup on the floor, shoving it slowly and stealthily under the nearest table. Loukan looked Cantacuzenos straight in the eye, who was visibly puzzled by his uncommon action. He let a couple of moments pass until he replied to the host.


“I am only saying this – it is yours and no others choice Cantacuzenos. They offered me the same thing but I refused them from the moment they started proposing me to secretly change sides. I cannot think of betraying my nation and above all, my Emperor. Without a doubt, the sum they offered is outrageous and can switch anyone's mind, and the privileges they offer after they conquer are enticing, but promises are made to be broken. How do you not know they will renegate their promises after they conquer our city? It might happen in the future, mind you. The sorry state in which we are should prepare us for everything possible and impossible. Once again, I leave it in your hands and do not worry, this conversation remains secret between us two. But choose wisely my dearest friend. It can mean life or death. Life or death of the entire family, not just yourself. And as a last piece of information, you are not the only one apart from me and you to be offered advantageous terms by the Ottomans in exchange for information. ”


After offering this cold and pragmatic speech Loukan left Cantacuzenos alone, heading for the group of politicians being entertained by Turkish dancers in the far corner of the ballroom. Reflecting on the conversation, Cantacuzenos thought how long before the unshakable loyalty will crumble before everyone's view...
Returning to the ballroom, Cantacuzenos found the ballroom almost empty. Dawn was approaching and the majority of the guests left to their houses, ending the spectacular night. Deciding not to stay any longer, Cantacuzenos bid goodbye to Theodora and her parents and left the house heading by foot with his servant into the mist of the night.

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter V fully edited. Here's the link so you don't have to go back to the page.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showp...6&postcount=20


Just as a teaser, it's now 22 pages long, up from 5 which was before. The action has been completely reworked, and I hope you will enjoy it.

FEEDBACK ALWAYS WELCOME!!

[edyzmedieval]

Chapters 1-4 are in the edit as well and I hope that by next week or in two weeks they will be up as well.
Another chapter coming soon too.

Check out the latest rework - https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpo...6&postcount=20

Feedback welcome!

[Monk]

Very good Edyz, i like it.

Be careful of getting too wordy on your reading, always ask yourself if the reader should be told or shown something, and then ask yourself how best to do that. And then when editing always ask "Is this the right length to explain what I'm trying to show"? You don't want to overload them with details.

I've said this dozens of times but it's worth repeating. My own experience in writing and editing tons of papers has led me to believe that writing is about balance, there's no right and wrong way (aside from gammar rules) only the way that works for you. But like riding a bike, just because you found the balance doesn't mean you can make it that first twenty feet without a fall!

Keep refining your style Edyz. I look forward to more.

[edyzmedieval]

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showp...72&postcount=1

First chapter fully edited. It offers a very different perspective and will surely give more clues about how things will go forwards. Chapter II is almost finished regarding reworking, and will be posted probably this weekend.


@ Monk

Thank you very much for the feedback. Much appreciated.

[Prince Cobra]

Ah, I am glad you have not wasted your time and the chapter is indeed remade and improved. I liked it. Well, since I have to do some constructive criticism it will be this...

Ah, and this is just the beginning, right?

P.S. One of my rare comments.

[edyzmedieval]

Yes, it is just the beginning my dear Stephen.

Chapters II, III and IV are on their way, and at latest, this Monday, they will be up for reading.

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter II fully edited.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showp...54&postcount=8

Feedback welcome!

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter III fully edited.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showp...0&postcount=11

Feedback welcome!

[King Henry V]

Really like your revisions of your early chapters, Edyz, it certainly adds depth to your writing!

[edyzmedieval]

@King Henry V

Thank you for your feedback.



Chapter IV fully revised.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showp...3&postcount=17

Feedback welcome!

First post now contains links to the reworked chapters as well as the latest one, and will be updated constantly as more chapters will be posted up for reading. Thank you.

[edyzmedieval]

First five chapters and the latest chapter, chapter 17, have been compiled together and are ready for download! Both are in PDF versions, ready to be printed.

First five chapters - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VRM9LYN6

Latest chapter - chapter 17 - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JFEG75I3


Enjoy reading!

[edyzmedieval]

A new chapter is in the making and hopefully it will be released soon so you can all read and enjoy.

Chapter 18 - Honour for hire

[Andros Antonius]

Nice work, man. I like it. Who knows how things would be different if Constantinople survived, but it was probably inevitable. I like the mixture of romance among all the politics. I remember I wrote something like this from the perspective of a Crusader passing through the city for a school project. Anyway keep it up. And good to see another fellow Romanian on the boards

[edyzmedieval]

@Andros Antonius

Thank you.


Feedback much appreciated!

In the process of editing the chapters I'm looking for feedback in order to improve even more. If you have any comments regarding the book, don't hesitate to post them!

Thank you very much!

[edyzmedieval]

A prologue is also in the making in order to provide a sort of "allegory" regarding the eventual fall that will be at a turning point in the Empire's history.

Please comment! Feedback always welcome!

[edyzmedieval]

In order to avoid the confusion later on, all chapters from 6 to 15 have been cut out as the plot is completely different and much more interesting after the complete rework.

Thank you for your understanding.

[Prince Cobra]

It seems you are working on a certain plot but I will wait for it to develop. Just like you, the dialogue is part of my weak points but as an inexperinced reader I can give you some tips. Whilst reading for the dance between Alexius and Theodora, I wondered what kind of dance was it. Folk dance (less likely), Byzantine court dance or one of the fashionable Western dances that entered in the Empire through the Italian merchants. Maybe some research on the topic can make the dialogue and the whole scene really intriguing.