Fall of Constantinople

[edyzmedieval]

To those who have read my story so far...


I apologise for the delay, school has started and I am in my last year, and it is taking it's toll. Please bear with me.

Thank you.

P.S: Feedback much appreciated! Please comment!!

[Georgie]

Very interesting story, dude

[edyzmedieval]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I do have some news for you regarding Fall of Constantinople.

I shall be posting a part of the Prologue soon so you will have an idea of what will be going on later in the book, but this will be the FINAL UPDATE for Fall of Constantinople.

Reason? I plan on publishing the book in 2010 and the more I post on the internet, the less chances I have with the traditional publishing due to the rukes if the book markets (posting the book on an online forum counts as self-publishing).

If it does get accepted by a publisher, you will be the first to know about it.

Thank you very much, and I hope you will see the book in print by the end of 2010.
Thank you once again to my readers, and the 17000 views I got so far. They mean a lot to me.

[edyzmedieval]

Dear readers,

The Prologue has been posted, it is on the first page of this thread just before the first chapter begins. I hope you will enjoy reading it, but remember it is not the full prologue, is it just an excerpt, for reasons detailed above this post.

Ocasionally I will be posting notes regarding the overall progress of my book.

Thank you once more,
Edyzmedieval

[edyzmedieval]

Dear readers,

A quick note of my progress.

It's all going well, and so far it's clocking at around 52000 words and going. This amounts to a little over 200 pages of a normal-sized novel.

I set myself a goal that this year I will finish it. And hopefully it will be on the shelves.

Thank you.

[Dijenek]

I just started to read story and it is very good.If i new to write like this, i will write just like you

[edyzmedieval]

Thank you Dijenek.

A quick update for anyone interested - I am currently reworking the whole plot, characters have been added and now I am focusing on actually creating compelling and complex characters with strong personalities, so that the reader himself will identify with one or more characters.

[naut]

Best of luck. Getting published would be an impressive feat.

[edyzmedieval]

Thank you Psychonaut.

I have almost finished another novel based on the Templar Knights which I also intend to publish by the end of the year.
I'll keep you posted.

[edyzmedieval]

Another quick update.

My Templar Knights novel has been finished and stands at around 95000 words, which means that the work on Fall of Constantinople has restarted.

[Prince Cobra]

Nice to see you back, sir.

[Ludens]

My Templar Knights novel has been finished and stands at around 95000 words, which means that the work on Fall of Constantinople has restarted.

Congratulations .

[edyzmedieval]

Congratulations .

Thank you very much Ludens.
I hope you will enjoy the spectacular developments in the book if I ever get to publish it. If traditional publishing fails, I will post it online for everyone to read.

[edyzmedieval]

20000 views!

Thank you very much for your support

[edyzmedieval]

Made some edits to Chapter I, if you wish to take a look, please do read.

Feedback appreciated!

[Visarion]

I got to read this someday...

[edyzmedieval]

I will be making further edits to the posted chapters and the subsequent ones I have published to add to the enjoyment of reading the piece.

Thank you.

[ByzantineKnight]

Any news on getting published? because I'd love a copy :D

[edyzmedieval]

Thank you BK for the kind wishes.

I completed a first novel which is in the edits stage. Hopefully that will end up in print.
I am also working on two other novels, one of them which is the totally revamped Fall of Constantinople and which I hope to see them in print as well.

Soon to be out will be my blog, which will include excerpts of the new FoC but also the revamped chapters of the existing one.
Watch this space.

[[ady]]

congratulations !

[[ady]]

Carte este titlul si autorul cartii originale dupa care ai facut traducerea?

[edyzmedieval]

Carte este titlul si autorul cartii originale dupa care ai facut traducerea?

I can't write in Romanian because it's an English board so I'll just reply in English.

It's not a translation, it is an original work of mine.
And thank you for the comments.

[Naviriel]

A good and intersting reading Edyz.I have just finished reading the first five revised chapters and I am waiting to read the upcoming chapters.I have to agree though with Basileios II that if you choose to use the hellenic term Basileus you have to do it right.You wouldnt write Kingos or Emperoros so why you have to write Basileos?You have to be accurate i believe with at least titles.No one would like to read for example King Murad instead of Sultan.I would like to read Basileus Manuel as much as King Manuel.it is not about the hellenic or the english term,it is about accuracy.It is about the essence of the story.I am saying this with the desire to help and not to offend.And one last thing.I am trying to understand if you want to be historical accurate or not.A reply directly from you would be helpfull to understand better the point of your story.Anyone else to comment is welcome though.Keep up the good work!

[edyzmedieval]

A good and intersting reading Edyz.I have just finished reading the first five revised chapters and I am waiting to read the upcoming chapters.I have to agree though with Basileios II that if you choose to use the hellenic term Basileus you have to do it right.You wouldnt write Kingos or Emperoros so why you have to write Basileos?You have to be accurate i believe with at least titles.No one would like to read for example King Murad instead of Sultan.I would like to read Basileus Manuel as much as King Manuel.it is not about the hellenic or the english term,it is about accuracy.It is about the essence of the story.I am saying this with the desire to help and not to offend.And one last thing.I am trying to understand if you want to be historical accurate or not.A reply directly from you would be helpfull to understand better the point of your story.Anyone else to comment is welcome though.Keep up the good work!

Naviriel, thank you first of all for reading. Greatly appreciated.

When I wrote this I strived to make it as accurately as possible without sacrificing some of the enjoyment in order to make it less straining to read. This is why I chose Basileos instead of Basileus. From a literary point of view it makes the writing sound easier but in the latter edits I did change it back to Basileus because there was no problem to include the original term.


Anyhow, I just want to inform all of those who still come by around here that I've started from scratch with Fall of Constantinople and now it's a full historical novel that I will attempt to publish. Similar to what I've posted but much much better.

[edyzmedieval]

Chapter VI, re edited and reworked, posted here and at the original slot.

I hope you enjoy!



Andronicus Cantacuzinos awaited for a signal, his anxiety somewhat overwhelming his frail senses. He stood calm and composed in the splendidly decorated antechamber of the Royal Palace in Warszaw, resting his aching back against the comfortable wooden bench. The road took a considerable toll and he would have no more of the horrible conditions he endured during the winding paths leading to the Polish capital. He pushed aside the memories of the downtrodden road and returned with his gaze inside the magnificent royal building. Andronicus gazed at the expensive decorations on the walls that did not detract from the elegant simplicity of the chamber which more often than not reminded him of the understated splendour inside the Byzantine palaces, ruined as they were. He took his eyes off from the decorated walls and the exquisite carpets and closed them for a split second, focusing on the difficult task ahead he had to complete. But even from the start, he dreaded it, he feared the result. His hands were shaking lightly, gripped on the sharp edges of the bench. His assigned mission to King Wladyslaw Jagiello of the Poles made him uneasy, despite the clear instructions he received from Constantinople. Inside his expensive caftan stood a letter requesting military or financial aid, so desperately needed by the ailing and moribund Byzantine Empire about to be engulfed alive by the Ottomans. He opened his eyes with fear at the image.

Andronicus was an able diplomat, and Chancellor Sphrantzes knew exactly who to send. Descendant from the old, noble family of the Cantacuzinos, he guessed his time was around 36 years old and no more and no less. Despite that he had a youthful figure as constant exercise and no vices kept him constantly in rude health, striking the envy of those around him who wished not only his position but his own lifestyle too. His brown eyes and chiselled features of his face made him a man with much success to women, even if he was not a womanizer, an oddity when it came to the depraved Byzantine court. He preferred a simple but noble life, and this made him a close advisor to Emperor Manuel himself much as he wished. His joyous expression denoted understated intelligence, a much appreciated trait of him, which opened the doors to the delicate task of dealing with such an important man in the western Catholic world. As much as he hated to admit when it came to politics, the western world was now vital for the Byzantines to survive and he vowed to make as much of it as possible.

He patted a hand at his chest to feel the reassuring shape of the letter folded in a tight place underneath the heavy cloth. Gaining the support of even the Polish kingdom was invaluable against the Ottoman Empire, which was gaining more power day by day. Andronicus at times felt cornered into the walls of his own city. He switched from his thoughts back into the square antechamber were he found himself in with the main door to the king's private cabinet right in front of his eyes.

But it was impossible not to think of the situation. He was wondering whether any of the diplomatic missions would have any success, especially after the disaster in 1396 at Nicopolis. Apart from the Hungarians and Wallachians, who were desperately fighting to keep control of their territories, no one showed public interest in another fruitless Crusade to help the Byzantine Empire. Everyone was interested in profits. Andronicus was awoken a second later by a strange clicking sound that resounded oddly pleasurable in his ear. The door to the cabinet opened widely and a small, strong servant exited, dressed in the fashion of the era, curtly inviting the Byzantine diplomat inside.

"Illustrissime, the king is ready to greet you in his personal quarters."

He quickly thanked the servant with a respectful bow and slowly entered the sober cabinet of King Wladyslaw Jagiello. The room was of a pentagonal shape, with an oak desk in the middle and two large windows providing the light in the back of the room. Andronicus found the king sitting at the window in the far corner of the chamber, his back turned towards him, a golden goblet brimming with red wine in his hands. The sound of Andronicus' leather shoes turned him around, smiling broadly to the Byzantine diplomat who shook his hand a moment later.

"Welcome, and please, sit down."

Andronicus took his place, without taking his eyes from the man in front of him who returned to his original position. Despite the lack of tact, Andronicus could only swallow nervously and attempt to open the conversation, awkward as it may be. He opened the leather portfolio from his hand and took a sheaf of papers from inside, the formal requests of aid bearing the seal of Emperor Manuel. Andronicus cleared his throat and spoke, with enough waver in his voice to make himself shudder.

"Your majesty, Andronicus Cantacuzenos comes from his Highness Emperor Manuel of the Rhomaioi bearing news at hand. Instructed by my leader I have came here today to humbly ask your majesty for help against the ever expanding Ottoman Empire that has been attacking our borders for the past one hundred years, which we have been unable to stop or contain and today, this growing plague that has spread far and wide is now threatening our very own existence. Today, under the guidance of his Holiness The Pope I have came here to seek help. The expansive kingdom you command, Illustrissime, is one of the most powerful in Europe and you have enough backing and influence to shift the tide in the favour of the Christian armies."

The Polish king still looked on the window untroubled by the carefully crafted words he had just heard. He turned on his heels on the soft carpet, facing his guest for the first time, revealing an ugly battlefield scar which spread like a line on his entire face. He drew closer to the desk and smiled thinly.

“Your Excellence, I thank you for your visit, first and foremost. But forgive me for speaking plainly, and perhaps rudely, but before I listen any further and give you a reply, join me in the royal gardens for a quiet walk where we shall be undisturbed and we shall be able to discuss this delicate issue in great depth.”

Andronicus gazed at him in ominous surprise but nodded in acceptance. He had no other choice but to conform with the king's wishes. King Wladyslaw walked around the wooden desk and opened the door for his guest who exited back into the antechamber and then into the expansive palace courtyard. After a quick walk between the guard posts and palace defences composed of palisades and low lying stone walls the two reached a lush open area surrounded by a dense forest that Andronicus rightly presumed as the royal gardens.

It was a cool summer day, perfect for walks between the trees and vegetation and slightly acceptive of hushed diplomatic talks, far away from any prying ears. A faint gust of wind brushed overhead but it did not manage to allay Andronicus' terrible fears which gripped him from the moment he arrived in the Polish capital. He looked back at the king who walked beside him in silence, his head drawn towards the ground and his breath regulated to an almost imperceptible activity. Andronicus' met Jagiello's gaze a second later, trying his best to judge the king's thoughts. His own brown eyes were met by a pair of sparkling blue eyes radiating dignity and determination, enough for the diplomat to turn his head away. Jagiello cleared his throat and pointed towards a secluded gap between the first trees of the forest to which Andronicus nodded.

“I understand you have came to us for help, is it so?”

Andronicus nodded. "My lord, first of all, let me present you the finest congratulations of my Emperor for defeating the Teutonic Knights. It was indeed long time ago, but we did not have strong diplomatic ties with any nation for a prolonged period of time so even after this time we feel that it is right to offer our warmest congratulations to those who defend the name of Christ."

Jagiello smiled, pleasantly surprised to be reminded and congratulated about the victory he orchestrated against the Teutonic Knights. “Thank you. Please continue with your demands.”

“Yes, my liege. As you might know, the Ottoman Empire is readying the armies for the final assault on the battered walls of Constantinople. Our army is far too weak to do react to these incursions so all we can do is wait under the protection of our walls and hope for the best. My emperor, God bless him, has instructed all peasants and produce to be brought within the protection of the walls but in the case of a prolonged attack they will not last much. We only have a handful of troops spread along the section of the walls but nothing more to defend our worldly possessions.”

Jagiello looked with a worried expression towards Cantacuzinos but said nothing. He kept his slow, steady pace, his expression turned into a slight frown, presumably from the thought of forming a reply. Desperate, Andronicus pressed on the issue. “Whatever you can help with my lord, we would greatly appreciate it.”

“I believe you still have some lands in the Peloponessus, do you not?”

“Yes my liege, but they are not much of use to us since they are isolated from Constantinople.”

Jagiello nodded with a frown. “Have you tried at other kings in Europe?”

“The Pope was kind enough to grant us some small authority to better impose our point throughout Europe. As we speak there are other diplomats hoping for an audience with the other kings, in particular the Holy Roman Emperor. But otherwise, no.”

Jagiello frowned even more. “I see...”

Andronicus swallowed nervously. He read about Jagiello being praised in folk tales and numerous legends of his victory of Tannenberg but he had never expected him to be so indecisive on this issue. A pause, perhaps a negative answer would follow? He looked up from Jagiello and scanned the surroundings, forgetting the moment of the mission and absorbing the delicate scents of red, pink and violet flowers surrounding the paved pathway that sliced the garden in the middle. They both reached the edge of the forest without Jagiello uttering a single word of reply much to the diplomat's frustration. Andronicus saw two guards posted around the entrance in the forest itself but paid no attention to them as they switched their places to allow the king to pass through the gap.

Jagiello stopped in his steps. A pause and then an answer, as the diplomat had expected. Jagiello glared back at him, eyeing Andronicus' worried expression.

"Excellence, let me assure you of my finest sympathies and I pray to God that your desire will prevail against our common enemies. Without a doubt, we must prevail, we have to!” said Jagiello, his head held high and a thin smile spread on his wrinkled figure. Andronicus wondered where his words would go. “Despite my sincere sympathies, I am afraid there is not much I could do for your noble cause.”

The Byzantine diplomat felt his stomach churn at the words, the fear encroaching around his thoughts even more than he wanted. He bowed slightly to Jagiello. “Sire, I wo...”

Jagiello held his hand high. “No, there is nothing you could do to persuade me.” Jagiello sighed. “My kingdom has been battled by constant wars and my people are hungry. My resources are simply committed to the welfare of my own kingdom, for I wish them to prosper and take back the lands that are owed to us by the Holy Roman Emperor.”

Andronicus shuddered slightly. He noticed the frown when he mentioned the German emperor but he thought nothing of it. Now he understood the implications of the war between the kingdoms of Europe and with that went all hopes of any help. He bowed his head respectfully, to which Jagiello raised his hand once again.

“If, by any chance, our territories will be given back, an ambassador will be sent to Constantinople with the first opportunity to discuss our help.”

The Byzantine diplomat smiled and offered the leather portfolio to the Polish king who accepted it gratefully, alongside the letter of request that was hidden before in the diplomat's caftan. Andronicus bowed again as a mark of respect.

“My liege, I thank you for your audience. I hope your struggles will soon be over, and I hope ours as well. May God be with you, my lord.”

“May He bless us all.”

With shaky hands and even wavering spirit Andronicus left the royal gardens and motioned to his own retinue, departing the royal palace of Warszaw in the upcoming hour. Atop his own grey palfrey the diplomat felt bitter, ignoring the beautiful countryside landscape spanning in front of their own eyes as they advanced through the muddy paths left from last night's storm. Although his defeats were now mostly routine, the recent encounter left him spent and devoid of any excitement over possible future alliances. The servants did manage to see his bad mood, despite Andronicus' desperate efforts to keep a straight expression.

“Is there something troubling you, Messer?”

He glared at the man and then nodded bitterly. “We lost again, there will be no help for us. Alas, not even friends count these days.”

The servant said nothing more, reining the horse and planting his chin in his chest as a gesture of defeat. Andronicus looked at him and thought over his action, noticing the symbolism of the whole situation. Defeat. And yet he smiled. A devious plan sprung up in his mind, which he hoped Manuel would gladly approve and carry on with. Emboldened by the idea he spurred his horse onwards and forced the men serving him to follow suit despite their initial bewilderment, bridging the gap between Warszaw and Constantinople with every stride.

[Prince Cobra]

Good work! Well, the only thing I did not like is that the ambassador lacks any vices... There are no perfect people. If he is a main character, you can slowly reveal his v&v and depending on your intentions make him sympathetic, repulsive or something in the middle. Of course, this is my opinion because I tend to bury deep inside my character's mind and background. If he is not, then I want to see how you build your main characters. Of course, you should follow your own style and your own vision. Waiting for further updates!

And yes, I liked the part about the Holy Roman Empire and Poland. It was such a stupid mistake.

[edyzmedieval]

Good work! Well, the only thing I did not like is that the ambassador lacks any vices... There are no perfect people. If he is a main character, you can slowly reveal his v&v and depending on your intentions make him sympathetic, repulsive or something in the middle. Of course, this is my opinion because I tend to bury deep inside my character's mind and background. If he is not, then I want to see how you build your main characters. Of course, you should follow your own style and your own vision. Waiting for further updates!

And yes, I liked the part about the Holy Roman Empire and Poland. It was such a stupid mistake.

He's not a main character, that as much I will tell you. He is one in the team of many ambassadors working for Basileus Manuel. The main characters will evolve over time, and you shall see which ones are the main ones and which are part of the supporting cast.

Chapter VII and VIII will follow soon, and after that a major and complete revamp for the first 5.

[edyzmedieval]

Just a quick update. I'll post up Chapter VII soon, updated and reworked.

And a bit more important - I plan to re-release the first five chapters, heavily updated, edited and reworked on the 29th of May, on the comemoration of the 558th year since the Fall of Constantinople. If I manage to do them, they should be available for download and enjoyable as a printed edition to get an idea of what's going to come later on.

[edyzmedieval]

Just a quick update - the first two chapters will definitely be available on the 29th of May, heavily reworked and edited. Should make a very enjoyable experience to read a couple of pages just to unwind.

[Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout]

again,its the same praise for you

A seriosuly epic tale,Pacy read totally convinicing.The Sheer might of your storytelling is so damned hard to resist!

I loved it,This brings back history to life

Overall a great story,aggressively good,but a geuinely thriiling one,top drawer story,heart pacing read,one of the most exciting stories I've read in a long time,another real sorcher

A briliant read