Don't worry Draco, it will come, even if it will take a LOT of time.
Re: Fall of Constantinople
Don't worry Draco, it will come, even if it will take a LOT of time.
Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.
Proud
Been to:
Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.
A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?
Re: Fall of Constantinople
This weekend you will have the first five chapters fully edited. I had no choice but to restart the editing, and hopefully everyone will enjoy it.
Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.
Proud
Been to:
Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.
A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?
Re: Fall of Constantinople
As I have promised, here are the first 5 chapters of my book.
Fully edited.
Old version had 6 pages and about 3300 words, new version has 12 pages and around 5300 words.
Download links below.
http://rapidshare.de/files/38665125/...pters.pdf.html
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XADM1UO9
Please comment on my book, I wish feedback in order to improve it.
Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.
Proud
Been to:
Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.
A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?
Re: Fall of Constantinople
Feedback on the first chapters anyone?
Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.
Proud
Been to:
Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.
A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?
Re: Fall of Constantinople
My apologies for taking so long to respond. I'd printed out your story and put it on my to-read stack, but it got buried under a heap of other things (I am in the final weeks of my graduation project, and there is so much that has yet to be added).
Anyway, it's very well written. There is a couple of style issues, but on the whole your English is very good. The dialogue has improved too, however my main critique is that the story itself is bare. It seems like you are trying to give a brief overview of events leading up to the fall of Constantinople. It doesn't have to be as complex as Stephen Asen's story, but at it is, it's too simple and too short. I for one imagine there was far more intrigue going on in the Byzantine camp. I also think there is rather little attention for the characters: we only see them as rulers, not as humans. Perhaps you could show a bit more of their characters and personal lives.
Good luck writing the next chapters!
Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!
Re: Fall of Constantinople
Much appreciated Ludens.
Holiday came, so plenty of time for writing.
Ja mata, TosaInu. You will forever be remembered.
Proud
Been to:
Swords Made of Letters - 1938. The war is looming in France - and Alexandre Reythier does not have much time left to protect his country. A novel set before the war.
A Painted Shield of Honour - 1313. Templar Knights in France are in grave danger. Can they be saved?
Re: Fall of Constantinople
Hello edyzmedieval.How are you?
I'm downloading your first five chapters now and will give them a read over the next day or so. Looking forward to them!
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