Getting fit with SwordsMaster

[SwordsMaster]

The Total War Workout: I have a set of handweights that I keep in the same room as the computer. Whenever I play Total War I usually have several agents moving about the map. Whenever I hit end turn I use the weights while I'm waiting instead of sitting there constantly clicking. It works great. Monday I was a little sore after playing for a while on Sunday.

Nice one

[Strike For The South]

I would like to point out DOMS is not necceraly and indacator of a good workout.

[SwordsMaster]

Well, well, and so holidays end.

Time to start a new training season. I have to reconsider my goals this time, as this summer I went from 95kg in April to the current measly 79. I attribute the loss to lack of weightlifting, excess of surfing, and lack of good sleep and good eating over the last couple of months.

But hey, that's what summer is for, right? Now, though, it is the time to take up that responsibility and get ourselves back into shape (so we can do it all over again next summer). So no more steaks with fries and bechamel, witha fried egg on top and some mayo. And we're hitting the gym again.

So I've spent a couple of days thinking about a good workout to put some muscle back on.

I'll show you my plan for the week:

Mon, Wed, Sat:

Warmup: 25 min on the bike (interval setting, resistance between 7-12) and 10 min on the rower (at least 2000m)

Then:
25 pullups (weighted if possible), usually in 2-3 sets
50 deadlifts (4-5 sets)
50 benchpress (5 sets)
30 squats (usually 50, but since I've spent the first 35 min working out the legs, I can drop the warmup sets)
50 one arm clean&press (that is 50 with each arm, usually in 5 sets)
25 pullups (usually at this stage, i drop the weight)

This whole thing takes about 2 hours, if you superset the exercises properly. Since 2 consecutive exercises don't work the same muscles, you can superset the first 3 together, then do squats, and then superset the last 2.

Tues, Thurs:

30 min swimming, usually in 10 min "sprints". I'm a strong swimmer, but can't stick to proper technique for longer...

And I'm picking up some recipes too, but that's material for the next installment. Maybe. If you're good.

In the Soviet army they had a pullup bar at the door of the cantina. So before lunch or dinner they lined up the men, and made them do 10 pullups. Whoever couldn't do them would keep trying until the time for the meal ran out. If they still couldn't do them, they didn't eat.

This is first-hand info by the way, so don't take it as a joke. I'm thinking of putting one up in my kitchen...

Well, i'll let you "digest" this.

[Beirut]

In the Soviet army they had a pullup bar at the door of the cantina. So before lunch or dinner they lined up the men, and made them do 10 pullups. Whoever couldn't do them would keep trying until the time for the meal ran out. If they still couldn't do them, they didn't eat.

This is first-hand info by the way, so don't take it as a joke. I'm thinking of putting one up in my kitchen...

Well, i'll let you "digest" this.

Back about fourteen or fifteen years ago, me and my buddy across spent the summer cutting trees on his property and selling the firewood, we did 100 - 200 cords each season. Near where we bucked up the wood there was a tree with a good sized branch coming straight out about seven feet off the ground. A couple of times a week we'd use it for pull ups (just to test each other or people who came by) and anyone who couldn't do ten in a row was deemed "unable to pleasure a woman".

I don't know if that's worse than missing lunch or not.

[Geoffrey S]

Summer's over indeed. This time, need to get up from 62 kg to nearer the 70. First two weeks I'll be running on mondays, lifting weights on tuesdays and fridays (don't know the regime yet), one hour on the rower on thursday, and in the meantime learning the skiff and 2-. After that, a month of endurance training in twos and skiffs, with the occasional move to the 4+; trainings will build up to seven a week. And finally, after the first few trial races, the definite boatplaces will be announced, and it's on to more endurance training in the winter (8-9 a week). Fun!

[SwordsMaster]

Summer's over indeed. This time, need to get up from 62 kg to nearer the 70. First two weeks I'll be running on Mondays, lifting weights on Tuesdays and Fridays (don't know the regime yet), one hour on the rower on thursday, and in the meantime learning the skiff and 2-. After that, a month of endurance training in twos and skiffs, with the occasional move to the 4+; trainings will build up to seven a week. And finally, after the first few trial races, the definite boatplaces will be announced, and it's on to more endurance training in the winter (8-9 a week). Fun!

Sounds fun. Remember though that to put on weight, the most important thing is to eat right.

and anyone who couldn't do ten in a row was deemed "unable to pleasure a woman".

I don't know if that's worse than missing lunch or not.

Nice. I had a thing in that fashion once. I was working packing trucks in a flour factory. Note that each truck can hold about 400 bags of flour, and each bag weights 50kg.

So we were unpacking 150 bags at one of the delivery places, which was on the beach, so we got the odd beach muscle man walking past. when we were some 50 bags into it, one of these muscle men and his girlfriend stopped to look, and were there for a few trips. So eventually i invited him to grab a bag and give us a hand since he was pointing at us and making some comment to the girl. He looked at us, at the bags, at the bakery, and then refused. The girlfriend looked appalled.

[SwordsMaster]

This is a bit of a review. I did that routine yesterday. And I concluded that it is too much for the legs. My hamstrings are so tight and sore today I can barely sit....

So. I decided to disinclude the squats and include 50 windshield wipers instead to hit the abs a bit harder, they weren't really included in my first version...

Have fun!

[The Wizard]

I don't know how much weight I lost over the summer, but I know I'm definitely out of shape. Time to hit the weight pile hard again, and no better time to get that discipline back than the first week of university.

[Geoffrey S]

If I may, where and what? You did live in NL, right?

[The Wizard]

I do; specifically, in a village to the south of Rotterdam, on the island of Goeree-Overflakkee (oh lawd, Bible Belt). By the by, my location tag to the left of this post says "Rotterdam, the Netherlands" in Hebrew

Oh, and fitness in the gym. I got lazy somewhere halfway through my summer vacation and stopped coming regularly.

[Geoffrey S]

That does look fairly remote by Dutch standards, bet uni is something of a saviour!

By the by, SwordsMaster, by eating properly you mean stuff with plenty of protein such as fish? I'm sure the coaches will explain by the time I start, but that doesn't stop me from being curious!

[Blodrast]

SwordsMaster, I can certainly understand (and, unfortunately, relate to) losing weight when you stop working out, but I don't get why you think that you also lost weight because of the diet - when you mention steaks and fries... if anything, steaks have a whole lotta protein, while fries are not-so-healthy, but, if anything, they have lots of fat, so you should have gained fat - not lose weight...

I also lost a bunch of weight because of miserable sleeping schedule and not eating enough/properly...

[naut]

Just finished the football season, and my fat percentage is a grand total of 4.0%. But, I have a huge disparity in upper and lower muscle growth and development.

[SwordsMaster]

That does look fairly remote by Dutch standards, bet uni is something of a saviour!

By the by, SwordsMaster, by eating properly you mean stuff with plenty of protein such as fish? I'm sure the coaches will explain by the time I start, but that doesn't stop me from being curious!

Well, yes, but you can't eat only protein. I have explained a few posts ago that protein, carbs and fat should comprise any meal. The thing is that you shouldn't eat more than you need of either, and those you do eat should be of the right type.

SwordsMaster, I can certainly understand (and, unfortunately, relate to) losing weight when you stop working out, but I don't get why you think that you also lost weight because of the diet - when you mention steaks and fries... if anything, steaks have a whole lotta protein, while fries are not-so-healthy, but, if anything, they have lots of fat, so you should have gained fat - not lose weight...

I also lost a bunch of weight because of miserable sleeping schedule and not eating enough/properly...

Well, I just didn't eat enough. 2 meals a day, with some 7 hours in between, and those 7 hours I spent either in the water or by the water...


Actually, i found this article. It is written with some knowledge of the subject for a change, so have a read.

[Geoffrey S]

Well, yes, but you can't eat only protein. I have explained a few posts ago that protein, carbs and fat should comprise any meal. The thing is that you shouldn't eat more than you need of either, and those you do eat should be of the right type.

Right, that's no problem. Last year I kept to a balanced diet, and I intend to keep that up.

[Blodrast]

Alright, thanks for the clarification, SwordsMaster, that makes sense.
Thanks for the article, as well.

[SwordsMaster]

Well, well, fellow orgasmians. I'm back with an update in this time of pre-Christmas excesses, winter hibernation, and office parties. You guessed it right, I'm here with a routine to destroy lard. Not bulk up muscle, not to get stronger or faster, but to lose the lard, and fit right back into the work pants as soon as the turkeys are done with.

This is tough. For the less-trained types, I recommend starting slower, but it is also doable. I do this routine about 3 times a week, and do weights about 2 other days to keep the good habits going. Now that being said, you will see results fairly quickly.

General recommendations: no eating for 1 hour before you start (unless you want to pack a bucket for the session...), and before-during-after the routine you should drink approx 3 litres of water. So pack a bottle.

Anyhow, here's the lowdown:

Stretch: concentrate on legs, lower back, hips. hold stretches for about 20 sec.

PartI:

Warm up: treadmill's inclination set to 4. Start with a speed of 7.0, and move up 0.5 every minute until you get to 11. That makes 8 minutes.

Part II:

Cycle: pick a cross country or hilly course on the bike, and make sure the tops of the hills are at resistance 20. That usually means you start at 8-9. Keep the RPM above 75 throughout, and go for 25 min. And feel the burn. It's ok. It's the lard. You don't miss it.


Part III:

Give the legs a break. In the meantime we do dips and pullups in 4 sets of 12, with no breaks, a sort of minicircuit.

PartIV:

Rower: At least 2000m in 10 minutes. I usually go for a 2500, but 2000 is ok. Below that, you're just being lazy and wasting your time.


We're almost done.

Cooldown: 10 min at incline 3, speed 8.0 on the treadmill, and lower the speed every minute by 0.5 until you're down to 6.0, then lower the incline by 0.5 until you're at 2. Then enjoy the rest of the journey.

Stretch. As above. It hasn't been so bad. And took just over an hour. And you burned 1500 kcal. That's half your daily allowance. Feel the fat melting?

Now go get a shower!

[Vladimir]

Good update. How long is that, one hour?

Anyway, question: Which is better, sleep or cardio?

If you normally get 7 hours of sleep a night, is it worth it to sacrifice one for a half hour cardio workout? Keep in mind this will be in conjunction with mild to moderate weight training in the evening.

Will this be enough sleep or will you break down muscle and store extra fat due to stress and loss of sleep?

[Odin]

interesting

[SwordsMaster]

Good update. How long is that, one hour?

Anyway, question: Which is better, sleep or cardio?

If you normally get 7 hours of sleep a night, is it worth it to sacrifice one for a half hour cardio workout? Keep in mind this will be in conjunction with mild to moderate weight training in the evening.

Will this be enough sleep or will you break down muscle and store extra fat due to stress and loss of sleep?

That depends on how much sleep do you need. I need about 8'5 hours a night to be fully rested.

I wouldn't sacrifice sleep for cardio. I would sacrifice weights once a week for cardio though.

[Vladimir]

I wouldn't sacrifice sleep for cardio. I would sacrifice weights once a week for cardio though.

Well naturally I would alternate in the evening if I wasn't exercising in the morning.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I hope no one objects to my "resurrection" of this thread, because there is actually a LOT of good stuff in here. And, the thing is part of a Frontroom Sticky.

However, when I first read the thread title, I thought surely this must be some kind of TotalWar-related joke post. So without further ado, here is my version of "Getting fit with SwordsMaster"
===================================

Are you feeling tired? Stressed out? Sluggish? Getting a little flabby around the midsection? Are the peasants not fleeing in abject terror like they used to?

Well Look No Further, because the Org has a new fitness regimen sure to shed excess flab, tone your body, and spread chaos and destruction throughout your lands! It's called SwordsMaster, a revolutionary new system designed to help you lose weight and get in shape.

Here's how SwordsMaster works. First, he arrives on the borders of your nation with a horde of the most deadly and vicious Timurids ever to walk the face of the Earth, and unilaterally declares war on you by sacking of one of your cities. He smashes the gates of your capital with armoured frickin elephants with frickin cannons on their frickin heads, demolishes the walls of your cities, rapes your subjects, pillages their homes, burns your buildings to the ground, and exterminates your citizens. Already, you should be building up a bit of a sweat.

Second, he storms the inner keep of your citadel, with heavily armoured, gold-chevron infantry easily dispatching your bodyguards, smashing your valuables, pouring oil onto the prisoners in your dungeon and setting them ablaze, and slashing the throats of your humble servants, slaves, and family members. At this point, your heart should be really pounding, and your cardiovascular system will really begin to feel the workout.

Next, as you use the rope ladder you have hidden in your bedchamber, you will climb quickly out of your window and slide 12 stories down to the ground below, in order to escape from the wrath of SwordsMaster. You might feel out of breath, but keep moving, as your life depends upon it.

Next, you are to dodge arrows being fired upon you from all directions, as the vast armoured archer divisions notice your attempt to escape and converge on your position. This should really work your glutes, thighs, and quadriceps, and you should start to feel a burning sensation in your muscles, possibly because a searing hot flaming arrow just impaled you in the leg.

Bleeding profusely, you hop as quick as you can towards your trusted steed, and hoist yourself onto the back of your magnificent war horse. Now, make that little pony gallop as fast as you can towards the smashed gatehouse and flee for your life as SwordsMaster sends his elite cavalry divisions to slaughter you. Meanwhile, SwordsMaster will begin the execution of your loyal subjects, and any captured soldiers will be tied up and simply dumped into open graves and buried alive. The mere thought of this fate happening to you will compel you to continue running away from SwordsMaster, and will allow you to stick to this workout regimen even when your body is tired, exhausted, and suffering from severe blood loss and third degree burns all over your skin.

However, the Timurid cavalry manage to catch up to your steed, and with their mighty swords they hack the legs of the poor creature, sending you flying from your mount, landing on your neck and shoulders. Your erstwhile steed's broken legs cause him to collapse on top of your prone body after struggling to stay on his feet for several steps, crushing one of your legs and your sword-bearing hand. By now, you must surely realize that your sluggishness and laziness have not paid off, and you vow that if you should survive to see the sun rise again, you will never allow yourself to become chunky again.

After being captured and tortured by the Timurids and then placed in a dungeon, you are slowly starved for weeks and weeks, only being given gruel every third day, and muddy water to drink. Then, you are bound in chains, sold into slavery, and forced to work in the Iron mines in the remote mountains of Mongolia. For twenty years your body will undergo the most excruciating and backbreaking labor, and you will face not only the wrath of your captors, but also the bitterness and resentment of your former subjects, who spit in your face and mockingly call you "my leige".

Rest assured, the SwordsMaster program is a proven technique to get you to lose weight and stay in shape. We are so convinced this system will work for you, we are offering a 90 day limited money-back guarantee.

*good luck trying to collect that money when you are bound and gagged. The only thing more scary than SwordsMaster is our legal department.

Operators are standing by. If you order today, you will receive a complimentary collector's edition commemorative white flag of surrender, soaked with the blood of the innocent who foolishly agreed to become our prisoners.

The number to dial is 1-800-ENSLAVE. That's 1-800-ENSLAVE.

CALL NOW!!!

[LeftEyeNine]

Urgent advice needed.

I need to start workouts quickly. I feel like a daisylord thinking about things over and over and wasting the rest of my time in front of PC while looking for a job. Therefore I've started to feel even more hopeless, lethargic and stupid.

Terms: I'll not attend gyms. I'll be moving in a near future. I'll purchase one set of tool (such as weight-lifting bar or dumbbells).

Back in the summer days when I was working out, I had dropped by here and asked for suggestions. Still, I want to improve my dorsal and triceps.

I don't have much to spend on the tools so which one would be a wiser choice? A weight-lifting bar or dumbbells ?

If it will be bench press (therefore a weight-lifting bar), how much weight should I start with ? I was able to get 50 reps of 9.5 kgs back with dumbbells when I was training every day (that was my peak before I had to quit).

Regarding my apparent capacity for my current condition, what's your reps and weight suggestion ?

Thanks in advance.

[SwordsMaster]

Urgent advice needed.

I need to start workouts quickly. I feel like a douchebaglord thinking about things over and over and wasting the rest of my time in front of PC while looking for a job. Therefore I've started to feel even more hopeless, lethargic and stupid.

Terms: I'll not attend gyms. I'll be moving in a near future. I'll purchase one set of tool (such as weight-lifting bar or dumbbells).

Back in the summer days when I was working out, I had dropped by here and asked for suggestions. Still, I want to improve my dorsal and triceps.

I don't have much to spend on the tools so which one would be a wiser choice? A weight-lifting bar or dumbbells ?

If it will be bench press (therefore a weight-lifting bar), how much weight should I start with ? I was able to get 50 reps of 9.5 kgs back with dumbbells when I was training every day (that was my peak before I had to quit).

Regarding my apparent capacity for my current condition, what's your reps and weight suggestion ?

Thanks in advance.

If cash is an issue, get a pullup bar and put it somewhere spacious where you can move your legs around without breaking furniture (or toes) If it is a place with a high ceiling so you can have some room above the bar too, then that'd be perfect.

The cheapest workout ever:

Pullups (hands facing in to focus on the biceps, hands facing out to focuson the back) as many as you can. Do it 4 times, and repeat every day.

Pushups. Give me 50. Nonstop. When that is easy, put your fists on the floor. Then start raising your feet. use a chair,whatever.

Situps. Whatever ones you fancy until you can't do anymore.

Squats. If on both legs is easy, try on one. Hold on to the wall for balance.

@Askthepizzaguy. Haha Hey, if niceness doesn't work, fear will!

[Good Ship Chuckle]

Dude, the way SwordsMaster says HARDCORE, made me think of this youtube video.
PowerThirst
Maybe SwordsMaster should include powerthirst in his health plan.

[SwordsMaster]

Well, it's that time of the year again, and SwordsMaster is going back to basics.

This is the 5X routine, and it complements perfectly the cardio that i posted before.

Nothing fancy about this one, classic lifts, old school brute force strength training. It's done all in 1 day, and you can repeat it up to 3 times a week.

Do your usual warmup, this is a whole body heavy routine, so warm up accordingly.

1. Pullups: 5x8, 1 min rest between sets
2. Benchpress: 5x5, if you can do the last 3 sets of 6, you're not benching heavy enough, 1 min rests in between.
3. Deadlift: 5x5, as above
4. Olympic clean, 5x5
5. Squat, 5x5 as above.


A variation includes: dumbell bench press istead of barbell bench press, good mornings instead of deadlifts, and stand up row instead of pullups.

Another favourite of mine, specially if someone has had back problems, like yours truly and wants to give the back a full on throttle kick:

These are supersets unless stated otherwise:
Stand up row & Pullup:
at 50%, 8/8
at 60%, 8/8
at 80%, 6/6
at 50%, 8/8

Good mornings & cable pull,
at 50% 8/12
at 60% 8/12
at 70% 8/12
at 50% 6/max weight to failure


You can thank me later. That is just a back workout and shoult take no longer than 20 min altogether. If you're taking more than 1 min between sets, you're not HARDCORE, and if you're taking more than 5 between supersets, you should do the whole thing again, because you're wasting your time.

Go get in shape. Summer's coming, dammit!

Phew, did it today. It's good, simple and effective. I did a 6 sprint set with 30 sec rests in between to fill in at the end, and almost got sick. So I'll have to do it again soon.

[Vladimir]

Haven't they invented a magic pill yet? I mean if a guy can regrow a finger...

If I ever catch some shrapnel in the gut I'm going to ask the surgeon to take a little off the sides.

[edyzmedieval]

Swordsmaster,

I've been following the following routine since I started the third term at school. Fitness is 2 hours a week, 1 on Thursday and 1 on Friday, sometimes supplemented by 1 more hour in the weekend. I do lots of sports in the meantime, mainly basketball, as its my trademark sport.

Please excuse me as I dont know the specific names, hope u understand.

- 20-25 minutes on the bicycle, medium difficulty level
- quadriceps training (32kg, 3 sets of 10)
- harmstring training (32kg, 3 sets of 10)
- bar pull (?) - 27-32kg, 3 sets of 15 (from up to down, usually for your back)
- "sailor" pull - 27-32kg, 3 sets of 10 (you pull to your chest and you keep your back straight)
- abdomen workout - sets of 25, usually 2 or 3 (support your legs between 4 "pillows" and you go down on your back and you go up)
- abdomen workout - sets of 10-15 (rest your legs and support yourself, you start from the ground and you go up - also helps your back)
- weights (6-8kg), sets of 10, usually 2 or 3

I use lots of calories during the week, so the quota 2500-3000 intake is obsolete. School, sports and everything - I EAT A LOT. I sleep around 8 - 8 and 1/2 hours a night.

My problem?

I don't lose weight. I think I actually gain.
Even if I consume a lot, I eat a lot, and because of this, I am a sort of sugar-dependent. I eat a lot of chocolate and it helps keeping myself up for everything, because daily life is stressing in the school, especially physically.

Also, I have abnormal weight. I am around 1.77-1.78 but there is something wrong. My upper body is fine, I have normal fat levels (I was never obese - I actually had problems as a kid due to low weight). For some reason, I am very heavy (my quadriceps is larger than my 2 lower arms put together!!). My head is also very heavy.

Any reasons? Heavy bones? (never broke anything, twisted lots, but never had something more than 1 day)

[Ice]

Swordsmaster,


I don't lose weight. I think I actually gain.
Even if I consume a lot, I eat a lot, and because of this, I am a sort of sugar-dependent. I eat a lot of chocolate and it helps keeping myself up for everything, because daily life is stressing in the school, especially physically.

Cut back on the sugar. Eat a clean diet. I've actually read quite a lot about this subject recently. What are you eatting on an average day, Edyz?

[Ice]

I wish I would have seen this before I joined a gym Swordmaster. I can do all of these exercises, even the pull ups if I simply install a bar, in my basement with my old weight bench. Heh.