Getting fit with SwordsMaster

[Kaiser of Arabia]

I wish I could hire you to be my personal trainer SwordsMaster.

Meanwhile, I wish I could flaunt my six pack to boast of my perfect figure to the .org to make you all jealous.

And I wish I could flaunt my extremly disgusting back hair do gross you all into submission!

[DemonArchangel]

*Uggg..*

[ichi]

As we approach summer in the desert here I try very hard to focus on staying hydrated.

Drinking lots of water is so important, for your kidneys, liver, skin, it aids in digestion and helps prevent muscle cramps.

When your working out or just having fun, hydratin is essential to maintaining good health.

ichi

[SwordsMaster]

You think, ok. Im more flexible than before, I sleep well, I have good breakfast but Im NOT fit. What I want to do is to get fit.

Ok, you wanted it soldier, get in line.

*Puts on Green Beret sargent uniform*

I'll get you fit like real men! Now you got 30 seconds to get dressed to sweat and get back in line. Move!

Today: Fit for service

- Ok, you lazy bums. I dont know how you got here, but I'll make sure your mom is not ashamed of you when you go back to your insignificant lives after you've served your countries. -

Here is a 7 week program that will get you fit for service as an average infantryman. If you served in the army before you'll probably remember some of it. I compiled this info from some of the armies' bulletins, and after you've finished it you will pass your army access with no prob .

Later on I'll get into the tough army training, I've compiled from special units. Namely Royal Marines, Green Berets and SEALS. So be very afraid *evil grin*. You wont survive a day of the other training if you cant complete this one, so be warned.

Running :

Week 1-2: 2 miles/day no more than 8.30 mins/mile (5 min/km) on Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Week 3-4: 3miles/day, 8.30/mile, M/W/F
Week 5-6: 2,3,4,2 miles 8,00/mile (4'45 min/km), M/Tu/Th/F
Week 7 and successive: 4/4/4 miles 8.00/mile, M/W/F

Conditioning:
All M/W/F: recommended before the running.

Week1: 4sets x 20 pushups
3x40 situps (no longer than 1 min each set)
You can do 2 sets of normal ones, and another 2 for the obliques (one hand by your side, and go to the opposite knee)
3x5 pullups (if you cant do 5, start with 3)
3x50 squats (normal squats, straight back, hands in front)

Week 2: 5x25 pushups
4x45 situps (or 3 normal ones and 2 oblique)
3x6 pullups
3x70 squats
2x5 planche pushups (lie on the floor facing down with your nads at your hips' level. Lift yourself off the ground. Hard huh? Now as you get better at this you should lift your feet off the ground too and basically hold your whole body with your arms)

Week 3: 5x30 pushups
4x50 situps (or the obliques alternative)
3x 8 pullups
3x100 squats
3x5 planche pushups

Week 4:
5x40 pushups
4x60 situps
3x10 pullups
2x200 squats
3x7 planche pushups

If you made it here, congratulations. You have to couple this with good stretching to avoid soreness, etc. after a workout drink water and eat something that releases fast energy (a banana or a toast with jam).

Dismissed!
*/Green Beret uniform*

[Taohn]

How much recovery time between each set? No more than 30 seconds?

Edit:
One more thing: the exercises should be done in the order given, correct? That is, one shouldn't do one set of push-ups, do one set of sit-ups (or crunches?), and then go back to push-ups. Also, for weeks 1 through 4 and 7, is it all right to do some weightlifting on the off days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, with Sunday as a break)?

Thanks

[SwordsMaster]

How much recovery time between each set? No more than 30 seconds?

The recovery time should be enough to be able to do the next set, but no more than 3 minutes.

Edit:
One more thing: the exercises should be done in the order given, correct? That is, one shouldn't do one set of push-ups, do one set of sit-ups (or crunches?), and then go back to push-ups. Also, for weeks 1 through 4 and 7, is it all right to do some weightlifting on the off days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, with Sunday as a break)?

Thanks

Not necessarily, you could do a set of pushups and then do a set of crunches as long as you dont do 2 cosecutive sets of exercises that work the same muscles.

It is ok to do some weightlifting, but tou wont put on much muscle and your perofrmance will be worse if you are not letting the muscle recover after the effort. Specially if you are doing heavy weights, you should rest your muscles for at least a day in between weight sessions.

Either way I dont recommend starting to do weights if your bodyweight is not something you can handle.

Cheers

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Also, for weeks 1 through 4 and 7, is it all right to do some weightlifting on the off days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, with Sunday as a break)?

Thanks

The program outlined was an endurance/cardiovascular routine, I seriously doubt you could gain much muscle by working the off days. You're going to have to focus on one or the other.

[Taohn]

Seeing as it's a Wednesday, I decided to give it a go. I could only manage 2.5 sets of push-ups before stating to take breaks longer than a minute and had to walk a bit during the run (it's quite hot today). Feels quite good after having some water, a shower, and that piece of jam bread.

About that weightlifting, I was referring more to high rep, low weight exercises so as to develop more muscular endurance and also to target areas like the forearms, calves, and maybe the shoulders and trapezius. It would be more for toning than anything else, except for the forearms, which could probably handle some more specific, heavier exercises since they don't get worked on very often. Basically, as long as it's not heavy/too prolonged it should be okay?

One last question about a couple of the exercises. Should the pull-ups be underhand, so as to stress the biceps more, or overhand? With the squats, I've read that one shouldn't lower the thighs past a level parallel with the floor when doing weighted squats. Does this carry over to unweighted squats?

[Avicenna]

Great guide! I love this bit:

How about a bowl of cereal? You have to be an idiot if it takes more then 1 minute to prepare a bowl (NO COOKING INVOLVED).

[SwordsMaster]

How about a bowl of cereal? You have to be an idiot if it takes more then 1 minute to prepare a bowl (NO COOKING INVOLVED).

Great guide! I love this bit:

As true now as when it was written.

[Avicenna]

Haha, did someone actually think that you needed to cook cereal?

[Askthepizzaguy]

I hope no one objects to my "resurrection" of this thread, because there is actually a LOT of good stuff in here. And, the thing is part of a Frontroom Sticky.

However, when I first read the thread title, I thought surely this must be some kind of TotalWar-related joke post. So without further ado, here is my version of "Getting fit with SwordsMaster"
===================================

Are you feeling tired? Stressed out? Sluggish? Getting a little flabby around the midsection? Are the peasants not fleeing in abject terror like they used to?

Well Look No Further, because the Org has a new fitness regimen sure to shed excess flab, tone your body, and spread chaos and destruction throughout your lands! It's called SwordsMaster, a revolutionary new system designed to help you lose weight and get in shape.

Here's how SwordsMaster works. First, he arrives on the borders of your nation with a horde of the most deadly and vicious Timurids ever to walk the face of the Earth, and unilaterally declares war on you by sacking of one of your cities. He smashes the gates of your capital with armoured frickin elephants with frickin cannons on their frickin heads, demolishes the walls of your cities, rapes your subjects, pillages their homes, burns your buildings to the ground, and exterminates your citizens. Already, you should be building up a bit of a sweat.

Second, he storms the inner keep of your citadel, with heavily armoured, gold-chevron infantry easily dispatching your bodyguards, smashing your valuables, pouring oil onto the prisoners in your dungeon and setting them ablaze, and slashing the throats of your humble servants, slaves, and family members. At this point, your heart should be really pounding, and your cardiovascular system will really begin to feel the workout.

Next, as you use the rope ladder you have hidden in your bedchamber, you will climb quickly out of your window and slide 12 stories down to the ground below, in order to escape from the wrath of SwordsMaster. You might feel out of breath, but keep moving, as your life depends upon it.

Next, you are to dodge arrows being fired upon you from all directions, as the vast armoured archer divisions notice your attempt to escape and converge on your position. This should really work your glutes, thighs, and quadriceps, and you should start to feel a burning sensation in your muscles, possibly because a searing hot flaming arrow just impaled you in the leg.

Bleeding profusely, you hop as quick as you can towards your trusted steed, and hoist yourself onto the back of your magnificent war horse. Now, make that little pony gallop as fast as you can towards the smashed gatehouse and flee for your life as SwordsMaster sends his elite cavalry divisions to slaughter you. Meanwhile, SwordsMaster will begin the execution of your loyal subjects, and any captured soldiers will be tied up and simply dumped into open graves and buried alive. The mere thought of this fate happening to you will compel you to continue running away from SwordsMaster, and will allow you to stick to this workout regimen even when your body is tired, exhausted, and suffering from severe blood loss and third degree burns all over your skin.

However, the Timurid cavalry manage to catch up to your steed, and with their mighty swords they hack the legs of the poor creature, sending you flying from your mount, landing on your neck and shoulders. Your erstwhile steed's broken legs cause him to collapse on top of your prone body after struggling to stay on his feet for several steps, crushing one of your legs and your sword-bearing hand. By now, you must surely realize that your sluggishness and laziness have not paid off, and you vow that if you should survive to see the sun rise again, you will never allow yourself to become chunky again.

After being captured and tortured by the Timurids and then placed in a dungeon, you are slowly starved for weeks and weeks, only being given gruel every third day, and muddy water to drink. Then, you are bound in chains, sold into slavery, and forced to work in the Iron mines in the remote mountains of Mongolia. For twenty years your body will undergo the most excruciating and backbreaking labor, and you will face not only the wrath of your captors, but also the bitterness and resentment of your former subjects, who spit in your face and mockingly call you "my leige".

Rest assured, the SwordsMaster program is a proven technique to get you to lose weight and stay in shape. We are so convinced this system will work for you, we are offering a 90 day limited money-back guarantee.

*good luck trying to collect that money when you are bound and gagged. The only thing more scary than SwordsMaster is our legal department.

Operators are standing by. If you order today, you will receive a complimentary collector's edition commemorative white flag of surrender, soaked with the blood of the innocent who foolishly agreed to become our prisoners.

The number to dial is 1-800-ENSLAVE. That's 1-800-ENSLAVE.

CALL NOW!!!

[salemty]

swordmaster i would like to know how come i can do 80 push-ups in 1 set but i can hardly do 20 sit ups and i can hardly even touch my knees.

[SwordsMaster]

swordmaster i would like to know how come i can do 80 push-ups in 1 set but i can hardly do 20 sit ups and i can hardly even touch my knees.

Are you really asking me this question?

Obviously your arms are stronger than your abs. Or you have a beergut, which is worrying at 15...

That only means you need to do more situps

[salemty]

that suprises me though because it looks like i have a six pack. it is almost as if i have a fake six pack. it looks as if i have good abs but i cant do many sit ups. but i have also seen people who have no ab muscles at all and they are a bit fat but they can do like 100 sit ups at once. this all seems very confusing to me