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Thread: Rent a German

  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Rent a German

    According to today's Times, there is a website where you can rent a German. And its true: http://www.rentagerman.de

    So, the obvious question, what uses can patrons think of for a rented German? (In the case of the Times, filling up an 800 word article on a slow news day it seems).

    And what might we rent other nationalities for?
    "The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that Navaros is claiming that Satan gave Man meat. Awesome." Gorebag

  2. #2
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    It was awesome! Having a German at the office for a week was a huge success! Since then, my relationship with my co-workers has improved big time! Ill definitely do it again- It was, like, oh my god, this is so it!

    Adam G., 48 (San Francisco)
    - from the testimonials.


    Good golly. People from San Francisco never cease to live up to their reputations (no, not the gay rep. just the 'being weird' one).

  3. #3
    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Hmmm ... just had a session
    at the dentist that will
    result in a hefty bill


    ...

    ...

    ...

    ca. 1000 EUR payment a day
    just for being a German


    ...

    ...

    ...



    This is heaven-sent


    Now I just need some mor... uhm ... customers

  4. #4
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I'd like to rent a French woman to teach me to speak filthily to American men over here.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Hmm, I am trying to see how having a German in the office for a week could improve your relationship with your co-workers, but all of my theories are uncharitable to Germans so I shall desist...

    If you were going on holiday a German could be quite handy for bagging the sun loungers for you? And if I suddenly found myself running the nation's railways I would certainly rent a German, assuming that is there were no Swiss available.
    "The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that Navaros is claiming that Satan gave Man meat. Awesome." Gorebag

  6. #6
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I remember someone on this board mentioning a stereotype about Germans that involved (beach?) towels. Can anyone fill me in?

    I thought it was Ser Clegane, but am not really sure.

  7. #7
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I think it was towel-in-chair-to-indicate-'reserved' syndrome.

    I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

    But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  8. #8
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Thanks.

    And if you don't mind paying in Jack Daniels, I think you could easily land a Japanese gentlemen.

  9. #9
    Ambiguous Member Byzantine Prince's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I've rented A.Saturnus years ago. That's why he had to leave the backroom.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan
    I think it was towel-in-chair-to-indicate-'reserved' syndrome.
    Indeed - and it is a very "special" issue between German and English tourists

  11. #11
    Humanist Senior Member A.Saturnus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by Byzantine Prince
    I've rented A.Saturnus years ago. That's why he had to leave the backroom.
    Well, anyone can see what use you had for someone of my profession, BP.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Rent a German

    I suppose a rented German could show me the secret to always being punctual. Also, how to chug seven beers in only a few minutes and not throw up (did anyone else see that episode of Sin Cities?).

  13. #13
    Viceroy of the Indian Empire Member Duke Malcolm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I think that I would prefer a Belgian to a German...
    It was not theirs to reason why,
    It was not theirs to make reply,
    It was theirs but to do or die.
    -The Charge of the Light Brigade - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    "Wherever this stone shall lie, the King of the Scots shall rule"
    -Prophecy of the Stone of Destiny

    "For God, For King and country, For loved ones home and Empire, For the sacred cause of justice, and The freedom of the world, They buried him among the kings because he, Had done good toward God and toward his house."
    -Inscription on the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior

  14. #14
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I don't know, renting a German might be annoying.. depending on the wrong one, knowing my luck I'd get stuck with one that loves listening to David Hasselhoff Music.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by Wazikashi
    I'd get stuck with one that loves listening to David Hasselhoff Music.


    This is so not funny...

  16. #16
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Sorry... I did not mean to offend

  17. #17
    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by Wazikashi
    Sorry... I did not mean to offend
    Hehe, no problem - this was meant jokingly. I just remember being on a training with several people from the UK who kept reminding me how successful Hasselhoff had been in Germany.

    The not funny part about it is that it is the terrible truth

  18. #18
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    lol, I just watched too much Norm McDonald on SNL as a kid. I always just thought it was a farce.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

    But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem
    There would indeed, you'll only get an Englishman if you are paying in beer. This would not be ideal if you wanted any work done, although I suppose you could also rent a German, give them each a towel, put one and only one sunlounger in your garden, and stand back and watch the fun develop.
    "The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that Navaros is claiming that Satan gave Man meat. Awesome." Gorebag

  20. #20
    zombologist Senior Member doc_bean's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by King Malcolm
    I think that I would prefer a Belgian to a German...
    We've got plenty, what would you need one for ?
    Yes, Iraq is peaceful. Go to sleep now. - Adrian II

  21. #21
    Abou's nemesis Member Krusader's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by Ser Clegane
    Hehe, no problem - this was meant jokingly. I just remember being on a training with several people from the UK who kept reminding me how successful Hasselhoff had been in Germany.

    The not funny part about it is that it is the terrible truth
    Well...if you Germans are lucky Steven Seagal might become as big in France, as Hasselhoff is in Germany. He released an album, and only in France



    Last edited by Krusader; 06-07-2005 at 10:58.
    "Debating with someone on the Internet is like mudwrestling with a pig. You get filthy and the pig loves it"
    Shooting down abou's Seleukid ideas since 2007!

  22. #22
    Viceroy of the Indian Empire Member Duke Malcolm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by doc_bean
    We've got plenty, what would you need one for ?
    Just to be Belgian would suffice, nothing fancy... Oh, if they could bring chocolate, too...
    It was not theirs to reason why,
    It was not theirs to make reply,
    It was theirs but to do or die.
    -The Charge of the Light Brigade - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    "Wherever this stone shall lie, the King of the Scots shall rule"
    -Prophecy of the Stone of Destiny

    "For God, For King and country, For loved ones home and Empire, For the sacred cause of justice, and The freedom of the world, They buried him among the kings because he, Had done good toward God and toward his house."
    -Inscription on the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior

  23. #23
    zombologist Senior Member doc_bean's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by King Malcolm
    Just to be Belgian would suffice, nothing fancy... Oh, if they could bring chocolate, too...
    Owkay, what language should they speak, we come in Dutch, French and German speaking versions.

    Maybe I should start a 'rent a Belgian' site
    Yes, Iraq is peaceful. Go to sleep now. - Adrian II

  24. #24
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Rent a Belgian? You'd better not rent this cheap rip-off of a Dutchman, if I were you I'd stick with the tried and true original

    Please pay in beer and/or verified European valuta
    Last edited by The Wizard; 06-07-2005 at 18:42.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  25. #25
    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by Krusader
    He released an album, and only in France
    And I sure hope it stays that way

  26. #26
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    BTW, I wonder if you can hire a specific type of German? I don't want a lazy Bavarian -- I want a reliable Saupreuss!
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  27. #27
    zombologist Senior Member doc_bean's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wizard
    Rent a Belgian? You'd better not rent this cheap rip-off of a Dutchman, if I were you I'd stick with the tried and true original

    Please pay in beer and/or verified European valuta
    We make better beer, end of discussion
    Yes, Iraq is peaceful. Go to sleep now. - Adrian II

  28. #28
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    I agree that compensates almost all the way for the rest.































































    Almost.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  29. #29
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan

    I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

    But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem.
    No problem. Us Germans take payment in beer, and the Dutchies probably would to, if they're anything like us.

  30. #30
    Humanist Senior Member A.Saturnus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rent a German

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wizard
    BTW, I wonder if you can hire a specific type of German? I don't want a lazy Bavarian -- I want a reliable Saupreuss!
    Hey, nowadays the Preien are the lazy ones, Bavaria is the driving force of German economy.

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