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Thread: New Element Heaviest Known

  1. #1
    Chief Sniffer Senior Member ichi's Avatar
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    Default New Element Heaviest Known

    More stuff from my email inbox, forgiveness please if its been posted before

    New Element Heaviest Known Science

    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium

    Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since

    Governmentium has no electrons, it is completely inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. In fact, a minute amount of Governmentium can cause one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a strange reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Scientists were astonished to learn that Governmentium mass actually increases over
    time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of ever-increasing moron production has led some scientists to speculate that Governmentium may be formed whenever enough morons cluster together and reach a certain theoretical quantity. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. You will know it when you see it.

    ichi
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  2. #2
    Ambiguous Member Byzantine Prince's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    WOW, Ichi I'm so astonished and surprised. How do you find time to make such non-clever escapades?

  3. #3
    Lurker Member Mongoose's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    *Falls over on the floor laughing*

  4. #4
    Wolf_NimbleNota Member NimbleNota's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    Hmmm I get the feeling as if this is all made up are some scientists trying to lie to me? hmm it is very hard to belive.



    $10 bucks says someone will think I am serious and I will later have to get them to highlight this text to make them look foolish

  5. #5
    Nobody Important Member Somebody Else's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    That's a good 'un. Interesting... I quite literally just received tat in an e-mail myself. Must be a recent thing.
    Don't have any aspirations - they're doomed to fail.

    Rumours...

  6. #6
    The Orgs Prophet of RATM Member IrishMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    Wow after the first paragraph I was left wondering who in their right mind names an element Governmentium. Then cleverly I realized the ruse.

    Good laugh ichi.
    When ignorance reigns life is lost.

    War is norm, Fight the War, Screw the norm!

  7. #7
    Member Member HunkinElvis's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    Did the writer spell it as morons and isodopes?
    "Winner of the 1st "Shamble's Total War Tournament,
    with 0 losses to his name.
    Hunkin Elvis
    "

    -Shambles

  8. #8
    Vermonter and Seperatist Member Uesugi Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    You'd think it would be easier to find since it is so heavy and beuracratic..... Maybe it got lost under the paperwork?
    "A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own."
    C.S. Lewis

    "So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive, safely, at death."
    Jermaine Evans

  9. #9
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    At first glance, I wondered, why the heck did they name an element after the cesspool that is government.

    And then I read a bit more...



    Crazed Rabbit
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  10. #10
    Junior Patron Member dessa14's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    i saw that about six months ago on another forum, still pretty funny.
    thanks,
    dizzy
    {LORE}
    "It is not the well-being of individuals that makes cities great, but the well-being of the community"- Niccolò Machiavelli.

  11. #11
    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    I like it, sounds very real.


    "Topic is tired and needs a nap." - Tosa Inu

  12. #12
    Weird Organism Senior Member Drisos's Avatar
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    Default Re: New Element Heaviest Known

    Quote Originally Posted by NimbleNota
    $10 bucks says someone will think I am serious and I will later have to get them to highlight this text to make them look foolish
    Damn you! I highlighted it!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Now I got you back!
    - Chu - Gi - Makoto - Rei - Jin - Yu - Meiyo -

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