Why Would Anyone Have Kids?

**PanzerJaeger** · 06-29-2005, 07:06

Why did the parents on the board choose to have kids, and why do the others who want kids want them?

I will never have kids for the following reasons:

1. They are an extreme responsibility. You have to care for them ALWAYS. They arent like a car you can put in the garage - no matter how sick or tire you are, you always have to be there for them.

2. Their trouble is your trouble. If your kid causes damage, you have to pay for it. If your kid commits a crime, your also at fault.

3. Teenage hatred. I didnt go through this, but it seems like most kids do. Parents spend all that time loving and caring for their kids, then when they get to a certain age the parents become the enemy. I cant count the times i saw some of my friends being complete jackasses because their parents didnt give them what the wanted.

4. Drugs, Alcohol, and Sex. So many awkward conversations.. so many chances for addictions or unwanted pregnancy!

5. Modern expectations. These days it seems like if parents dont buy their kids what the other kids have, they are the bad guys! Kids dont take into account that maybe daddy doesnt make as much as other daddies..

6. The cost. (This is the clincher) Do parents realize just how much money they devote to their kids? These days you're expected to buy the Xbox, the car at 16, and all the other assorted crap. Then when they get ready for college, youre supposed to magically come up with tens of thousands of dollars!

Im glad I was born of course, but I was a spoiled little brat. I cant understand why people would put up with the hassle of having kids. Of course you dont have to pay for anything and you can be a deadbeat parent, but then youre the bad guy in their eyes.

To me, having kids is a very bad investment. There is such a big pay in with a very low chance of return. Chances are when you get old they'll put you in a home anyway and visit you twice a year.

By the way, that rant was brought to you and payed for by PanzerJager

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**Papewaio** · 06-29-2005, 07:32

Ask not want your children can do for you, ask what you can do for your children: Love.

1. They are an extreme responsibility. You have to care for them ALWAYS. They arent like a car you can put in the garage - no matter how sick or tire you are, you always have to be there for them.

Thats like bench pressing for character, bring it on.

2. Their trouble is your trouble. If your kid causes damage, you have to pay for it. If your kid commits a crime, your also at fault.

You don't stretch for a workout you leave with injuries. Their trouble will be my trouble. So it is in my best interests to prepare them thoroughly.

3. Teenage hatred. I didnt go through this, but it seems like most kids do. Parents spend all that time loving and caring for their kids, then when they get to a certain age the parents become the enemy. I cant count the times i saw some of my friends being complete jackasses because their parents didnt give them what the wanted.

Karma, I gave it out, about time I got it back with interest for the time inbetween. Often this enemy stage is because the lack of communication and trust in the years before. Of course if the kids love you too much they will never leave home (I left at age 26

)

4. Drugs, Alcohol, and Sex. So many awkward conversations.. so many chances for addictions or unwanted pregnancy!

Honesty and Education. I knew about the birds and the bees at about age 4, pretty standard for a farm kid. I choose not to drink until I was 22.

5. Modern expectations. These days it seems like if parents dont buy their kids what the other kids have, they are the bad guys! Kids dont take into account that maybe daddy doesnt make as much as other daddies..

As a parent I intend on giving love with time and attention not through throwing toys at the person. I was relatively poor when my wife married me, the relationship there is based on respect, trust and communication not the car I drive (at the time it was rollar blades). Same with kids, be a parent first and build that respect and trust and communication (these are the foundation of love and friendship IMDHO). Teach kids responsibility and consequences for their actions.

6. The cost. (This is the clincher) Do parents realize just how much money they devote to their kids? These days you're expected to buy the Xbox, the car at 16, and all the other assorted crap. Then when they get ready for college, youre supposed to magically come up with tens of thousands of dollars!

There is always a cost in doing something. There is also a cost in not doing something. Money is not the real cost in a relationship, nor should it be the basis of that with your child. Time is a cost, but why not devote oneself to helping another person grow into a good, emotionally developed, mannered individual?

Why would I buy them a car? From the age of 18 I had to pay a board (nominal, more of a reminder that I was living at home under the good graces of my parents) and anything extra that I needed I had to borrow the money at their current mortgage/credit card rate. I used, I payed back (and you think you are a conservative pfft!). So I also worked in metalshops and deli's to pay for my expenses through uni.

(BTW college is 'free' in Australia so that isn't an issue, if you go to Uni it adds a certain amount of debt that you pay off as an extra tax when you hit a certain tax threshold. So currently not a worry... except I am still paying it off grrrr.)

**Byzantine Prince** · 06-29-2005, 07:42

=PanzerJager
Why did the parents on the board choose to have kids, and why do the others who want kids want them?
Panzer, wanting to have kids isn't something most people want or dream of when they are young like you and me. After you focus on a career or something that eventually makes you feel empty a child is exactly what the doctor ordered.

It's not easy paying for one, it's a lot of responsibility and a lot of trouble but if you do it right it'll make you feel better then anything ever before. Not that I know anything about those things, I'm only 18 afterall, but I can put myself in a 35-45 year olds shoes and imagine that it would be pretty depressing and a ffeling of emptiness without a child to take care of.

Another reason is the legacy. You have to leave something behind in this world in case a medicine that makes you immortal isn't anywhere in sight.

Think of it as a garden. Why would anyone want a garden? They can just buy whatever they want from specialty stores. It's that feeling of growing something by yourself that makes all the difference. I hope this is a good analogy.

!BP!

**Tribesman** · 06-29-2005, 08:17

Why did the parents on the board choose to have kids
I never wanted children , my wife was supposed to never be able to have children .
It just shows how wrong some people can be , I wouldn't change it for anything now .
With any luck I hope we have a pile more of them

To me, having kids is a very bad investment. There is such a big pay in with a very low chance of return. Chances are when you get old they'll put you in a home anyway and visit you twice a year.
Be happy in your old age Panzer , if you view young lives in the terms of a cash investment you are going to be living a very empty life .
Besides which send your kids to work , it was good enough for me , and my father and his father , teach them a level of financial independance and responsibility from an early age .

**econ21** · 06-29-2005, 08:58

I always wanted kids, I guess partly for the companionship. As a I child, I enjoyed the warmth of family life and wanted to recreate that atmosphere.

It also helps that I still retain many "childish" interests that I can share with my son. Disney films, dinosaurs, MacDonalds restaurents, Lord of the Rings, computer games... it's all good.

The responsibility is there, but rather like John Stuart Mill said, I think we need concerns that are greater than us to give us enjoyable and worthwhile lives. Also, I have a rather limited view of parental responsibility - my job is to help nurture an honorable young man; when he hits adulthood, I'll have succeeded if he is responsible.

The monetary cost is also real, but what else are you going to use money for? You can't take it with you when you go.

**English assassin** · 06-29-2005, 09:52

Being honest for most people its not really a classically economically rational decision to have kids or not. "Hmm, in 20 years time, would I rather spend that money on university fees, or on a cruise..."

To add to what has been said above, it is huge fun. Of course its a commitment and a responsibility but taking on commitment and responsibility is what being an adult is about. Speaking personnally, I didn't even realise a part of my life was missing until I had kids and suddenly, there it was. Sure, now we have to take holidays on steam railways and beaches (not really my thing) instead of flying off to Peru, but their fun is my fun.

And for a jaded cynic like me seeing the word through the eyes of a two year old is very illuminating. When was the last time YOU got excited because you did a pee in the toilet? (A long time ago I hope and trust)

Also I now feel part of something bigger, in a way that is hard to describe. You feel closer to all the people who have lived before and all the people who will come after, and see yourself as just a link in the chain not as the summit of human existence.

But then again, if you don't want em. don't have em. Its not compulsory after all.

**monkian** · 06-29-2005, 10:05

I didn't but as I told you all before my ex got pregnant anyway.

She just had a misscariage so I 've been 'spared' that responsibility.

Not sure how to feel, just feel numb.

**The Scourge** · 06-29-2005, 18:41

Originally Posted by English assassin

Also I now feel part of something bigger, in a way that is hard to describe. You feel closer to all the people who have lived before and all the people who will come after, and see yourself as just a link in the chain not as the summit of human existence.

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I like that .

**Franconicus** · 06-29-2005, 10:59

Because it is great. Best thing ever happened to me. Children are the joy of your life when you are young and your hope when you are old. They teach you humility and modesty. Go and get you some, Panzer!

**Gawain of Orkeny** · 06-29-2005, 15:50

Why for tax breaks and to get a bigger welfare check of course.

**Taffy_is_a_Taff** · 06-29-2005, 15:58

my younger relatives are incredibly sweet and entertaining so I want kids of my own sometime in the next 10 years or so.

**Big_John** · 06-30-2005, 04:01

from a biological perspective, one would have children because that is, in essence, what we are designed to do. practically, your children are vessels for your genes. your individual nature can be, in some sense, carried forth into the future long after you are dead. why should anyone want to have their genes competing in the pools of the future? that depends on the person, i suppose.

personally, i don't know if i want kids or not. i'm not an especially responsible guy.

**KafirChobee** · 06-30-2005, 06:14

Originally Posted by PanzerJager

Why did the parents on the board choose to have kids, and why do the others who want kids want them?

I will never have kids ....etc .

Why did I sigh with relief when I saw this?

**Lemur** · 07-02-2010, 00:45

Thread necromancy! But in a good cause! There's a whole string of articles/blog posts on the pros and cons of having kids, and I could think of no better place to put them. To wit:

The case against happiness

The breeder's cup

Children and happiness

Reasons not to have more

Case against good parenting

Parental happiness overrated

**Sasaki Kojiro** · 07-02-2010, 01:05

Yeah, it seems like a huge gamble to me. They aren't little blank slates.

**Megas Methuselah** · 07-02-2010, 02:15

Because...

WE DON'T DIE, WE MULTIPLY!!!!!

History has proven that, and is continuing to do so. By 2045, more than 1/3 of Saskatchewan and Manitoba will be Aboriginal. We are not a mere footnote in history, my brothers.

**seireikhaan** · 07-02-2010, 02:51

Hmm. Part of me wants, some day, to have a kid or two. Probably so I could give them things I didn't have- I didn't get a car at 16, didn't get most of the nice luxuries my friends did, and lived most of my childhood with my dad in whichever apartment he was in at the time, spending most of my time by myself since he had to work two jobs to pay the bills. That part of me wants said future children to grow up less cynical, more friendly and warm. But then, my cynical, arrogant, and somewhat jealous nature looks to all the kids I knew in high school who didn't have a care in the world- dad earning plenty of income, mother free to stay home and care for the children, if she so desired, all their wants and needs desired- and declare them, on a 95% rate to be unfit people.

So I dunno, I guess is what I'm saying. Either way, its for a later time in life.

**Philippus Flavius Homovallumus** · 07-02-2010, 09:26

Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah

Because...

WE DON'T DIE, WE MULTIPLY!!!!!

History has proven that, and is continuing to do so. By 2045, more than 1/3 of Saskatchewan and Manitoba will be Aboriginal. We are not a mere footnote in history, my brothers.

If you say so, you do know that 73.5% of statistics are misleading though?

**Rhyfelwyr** · 07-02-2010, 17:47

Took me a while to realise the thread date. It was surreal watching Tribesman reply so civily to PJ, without uttering the word bollox once!

Since PJ's still around, I'll give my thoughts on the OP. At first I would have been very much against having kids, but now I'm not so sure, I'm not the type of person that is going to want to travel the world or use my cash to live in luxury instead. Anyway, I don't think it's as bad as the OP makes out.