Ted Kennedy May Have Been "Under The Influence"

**Gawain of Orkeny** · 06-30-2005, 05:43

Ted Kennedy May Have Been "Under The Influence"

by Nickie Goomba

WASHINGTON (Goomba News Network) -- Last night's Democratic Party response to President George W. Bush's speech on Iraq was at times uneven and incoherent. Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) attempted to inspire the nation with a short presentation detailing the Democratic Party's plan for Iraq. Here are excerpts from Kennedy's speech:

"The Democratic Party is like a big car...an SUV...or a whataya call it?... a Hummer. We've got lots of room in the back seat for Liberty and Freedom."

"There is room for all Iraqis in the big Democratic Party car. Some of them can sit in the front and some of them can squeeze into the back seat with Liberty and Freedom and... Michael Moore"

Kennedy then fell into a fit of giggles.

"I'm going to drive that big Democratic Party car with Iraqis and Freedom and Justice and Liberty and Michael Moore and Barbara Boxer and Barama Osama and...America...and I'll drive over President Clinton's Bridge to the 21st Century."

Suddenly there were loud whispers from off camera and Kennedy seemed annoyed.

"What? What? Don't worry, I can drive."

At this point, the screen went black for 11 seconds. Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) then appeared to complete the national address.

This was the second embarrassment for the Democratic Party in one week. Last Sunday, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) compared Iraq to a big unruly German shepherd his family owned during his early years. He stated that his Uncle Clem had taken the dog to some people he knew who had a big farm in the country where the dog could run and be happy. Byrd then stated that he had the same plan for the people of Iraq.

Does anyone know if this is true. Speaking of Bushs speech Im amazed no one had anything to say about it so far.

**PanzerJaeger** · 06-30-2005, 06:13

LoL - it could be true. No one will ever know because no one watched the democratic response.

Really though, if he said that it would make the news more than just a few articles.. you would think.

**Samurai Waki** · 06-30-2005, 07:06

It's a well known fact that Ted Kennedy is an alcoholic. I doubt he said it, but then again you never know what a guy is going to say whilst under the influence of Malt Liquer and Peppermint Schnopps. Even being a moderate... I have to say, I really dislike Ted Kennedy.

**Tribesman** · 06-30-2005, 09:28

Speaking of Bushs speech Im amazed no one had anything to say about it so far.
Well I was waiting for the Pro-Bush crowd to start a topic on it .
I mean , its not every day that the President goes out of his way to appear on Prime-time TV to give a speech on such an important matter is it .
So was the speech so lacking in substance that they cannot find anything good to say about it .
It didn't even go down very well with the audience , but then again that audience have to witness the situation in Iraq first hand , they may have been a little more enthusiastic if George had showed that he had developed some sort of plan insteasd of offering more of the same "to infinity and beyond"

**Tribesman** · 06-30-2005, 09:45

Does anyone know if this is true.
Yes its definately true , Goomba is well known as an accurate blogger , as todays "news" article shows......
"the foul blood of the Moslem pigs will stain the sand throughout the Middle East. And not one lamb-tearing, sand-squatting, camel-screwing, one hand-eating raghead will escape the wrath of L. Ron Hubbard".

Ah yes , you can just picture it , Tom Cruise standing on a bench at a bus stop , launching the scientologists war on Islam

**PanzerJaeger** · 06-30-2005, 14:59

So was the speech so lacking in substance that they cannot find anything good to say about it .

Maybe nobody felt like starting a topic on it. We arent required to start a topic every time the president makes a speech.

Obviously you've got criticisms, why dont you start a topic?

It didn't even go down very well with the audience , but then again that audience have to witness the situation in Iraq first hand , they may have been a little more enthusiastic if George had showed that he had developed some sort of plan insteasd of offering more of the same "to infinity and beyond"

You must not have been watching the same speech I was.

**Crazed Rabbit** · 06-30-2005, 18:41

By audience, do you the military guys there? They were asked to remain somber to reflect the mood of the speech. It's not like they were gloomy about the situation in Iraq. Sheesh.

Crazed Rabbit

**BDC** · 06-30-2005, 19:52

At least Bush dried out before going political...

**Tribesman** · 06-30-2005, 20:00

It's not like they were gloomy about the situation in Iraq. Sheesh.

Yes rabbit they are as happy as a hippo in a mud hole over the situation in Iraq .

**caesar44** · 06-30-2005, 22:12

[QUOTE=Tribesman][B]
"the foul blood of the Moslem pigs will stain the sand throughout the Middle East. And not one lamb-tearing, sand-squatting, camel-screwing, one hand-eating raghead will escape the wrath of L. Ron Hubbard".

LOL

Sorry for my ignorance , who said that and when ?
I am dying here

**Don Corleone** · 07-01-2005, 01:53

Isn't this a "Dog Bites Man" story? If Ted Kennedy wasn't under the influence, I might sit up and pay attention. He forgot John Kerry's name when he introduced him on the day of the election, in Boston!